Catching Up

Perhaps I should rename this blog -- I certainly haven't done a very good job of keeping pace lately. I have much catching up to do.

It's the government's fault, of course. If they would just allow me to fully implement my well-planned retirement strategy (ie, win the lottery), then I wouldn't be so busy with doing all the stuff that I should just be able to hire people to do for me. Oh well.

I've been busy, and will continue to be busy for some time yet. It's not all just work and chores and fighting communism; I'm also doing all sorts of fun and exciting things. I'll try to bring you up to speed on some of these things over the next few days. But for today, I'll just mention some of the topics we'll cover, and then I'll head to the office to finish up our latest proposal. Here are some of the things I intend to blog about:

• Memorial Day. I hope everyone was able to enjoy the beautiful holiday weekend, but I also hope you were able to reflect on the holiday's origins, and take a moment to be thankful for the brave soldiers who have fought for our freedom throughout the years.
• "Avengers" movie review. The short version is "I liked it". The long version will contain a discusssion of whether my brain's processor is just not fast enough...or whether today's editors are simply making their cuts too darn fast.
• Training reports. I've had some great bike rides, trail runs, and swim workouts lately, and even have a few photos of wildlife, mountain vistas, and sunrises to share with you.
• High school memories. My graduating class has a reunion coming up this summer, and even though I won't be attending (it's the same weekend as the Triple Bypass) its approach has stirred up recollections and philosophical thoughts that I would like to discuss.
• Empty nest parenting. My son doesn't read this blog, so I can give you an honest report about my feelings regarding his current, um, career path, without fear that he'll hold those opinions against me if he ever does become rich and famous.
• Weekend nutrition. It has become obvious there's a correlation between how many hours I spend at home and how much food I consume. Weekends offer the best opportunities for extended exercise, and I definitely burn more workout calories on those days...but I always seem to weigh more when the weekend's over than I did when it started. I suspect that the most healthful solution involves finding ways to stay outside longer. This would also increase the amount of fun I have over the weekends...but is in direct conflict with my perceived need to finish all the household chores I don't keep up with during the week.
• Lake swimming. I will pick up our team's discounted parks passes tomorrow, and am planning to take my own first plunge into the icy waters of the Chatfield pond soon. I love open water swimming, but for some reason am always reluctant to take that first dip of the summer. But I will definitely let you know how it feels!

I hope you can forgive my recent lapse in online productivity, and will return to join me in the discussion of these (and many other) important topics. In the meantime, I have to get to the office early this morning to try to beat today's proposal deadline. Have a great day!

Colfax Half-Marathon

As the proudly-displayed medals in the photo verify, both Kim and I successfully finished the Colfax Half-Marathon on Sunday. It was a beautiful day for running, and a well-designed and executed event all around.

The course was pretty simple; basically a loop around City Park, then straight east on Colfax, a short trip north, and then a long straight return down 17th Street followed by another loop behind the zoo. It was flat and well-marshalled, with aide stations every second mile. For many of the runners (including Kim), it was their first time racing this distance, and conditions could not have been better.

We arrived at City park around 4:30am, and were able to park by the Museum of Nature and Science. At that hour, most of the 47 billion portapotties were available, so I took advantage of that particular convenience, knowing full well that breakfast processing and nerves would make it necessary to repeat the process again before the race started. The cattle pens behind the starting line were oddly beautiful under the spotlights as a scattering of athletes wandered around engaging in idle pre-race chatter.

At about 5:45am, they lined us up in our "corrals", according to predicted pace. Then we got to stand there, sardine-like, while race officials and city bigwigs made speeches that served no purpose other than to satisfy their egos. The last thing before the starting gun was the singing of the Star Spangled Banner by Jake Shroeder (Opie Gone Bad). You'd think after hearing that song a bazillion times in my life, I could listen to it without having the old moistened-eyeball effect, but no. Mr. Shroeder did an excellent job, and put us all in the mood to go out and kick some butt.



I think I reached the starting line about 7 minutes after the gun went off. The timing chips were embedded in the bib number, so my official time was logged from when I finally crossed the timing mat. Fortunately, the roads were wide enough and the other runners courteous enough that I experienced no major traffic problems at any time during the start -- or throughout the race

My race-start thought processes were as follows:

• My cardio conditioning should be adequate to push fairly hard through a 2 and a half hour race. I've done enough racing of that duration that I have a reasonably good idea about the level of effort I could sustain.


• My training mileage had been completely inadequate for a race this distance. My cardio might be good, but my legs simply hadn't put in enough road time to hold up throughout a race of this length. It wouldn't matter how slow I ran, at some point, muscle fatigue was inevitable.


• On the plus side, I felt pretty good during warmup. I had applied BenGay to my hamstring, was wearing my hamstring compression wrap, and had done some stretching while we waited for Opie to sing. I'd slathered on the BodyGlide, and had adjusted my socks and shoestrings to optimal configurations. There was a chance that I could run almost like a normal person.


• There was also a very real possibility that my hamstring would eventually get wonky, my knees would scream bloody murder, or my ankle would lock up.

After considering all those elements, I decided to start the race at a pace I thought was appropriate for a race of this distance and see how long the legs would last. Once the legs blew up, I'd just slow down. I could always walk if I needed to. I was determined to enjoy the experience, regardless of my finish time.

Oh -- one other thing I'll mention: A while back I noted that throwing your heart-rate monitor in the laundry was not a particularly good idea. Mine hadn't worked since I washed it, even after I replaced the battery. As I was laying out my race gear, though, it occured to me that I had a couple of older chest straps...perhaps one would be compatible with the Timex Global Trainer watch I'd wear during the race. Sure enough, it identified and locked onto the signal from my old Garmin strap, so I would be able to watch my heart rate throughout the race.

Of course, that assumes that I'd remember to look at that frame of the watch readout. Oh well.

I did look at my mile splits, though, and saw that I was holding a faster pace than I had anticipated. At about the three mile mark, I realized it might be possible to hit the 10K in under 60 minutes. I made that an interim goal, and tried to hold onto that pace.

It wasn't easy. At about 5 miles, I noticed that I had slowed down a bit. My leg was showing some signs of sporadic irritation, and my stride seemed to be getting shorter. I wasn't completely surprised; that was the distance that represented my "long" training runs for the season. I wasn't really tired, just not as loose. I kept pushing, though, and cruised through the 10K right at the one hour mark.

The highlight of the "urban tour" was when the race course went through the Aurora Firehouse, right around the halfway point of the run. If I were the race director, I'd have plotted the route to go up the stairs and have everyone slide down the firepole...but unfortunately that wasn't they way they did it. Instead, they just lined up a bunch of smiling firefights to hand out high fives as the runners came through.

I stopped to take a picture.

No, I am not the least bit embarrased by the fact that all the people running at my pace happened to be female. Why do you ask?

I asked one of the spectators if he'd take my picture as well. I realize that I could've struck a much more heroic pose, but I probably wasn't thinking that clearly at the time.

Since I had already removed my fanny pack to retrieve the camera, I took the opportunity to also consume some energy gummies in the hope that the burst of energy would help distract me from the growing tightness in my legs and hips.

I'm sure it didn't hurt, but it certainly wasn't the remedy I was hoping for. The good news is that most of the rest of the course was a very gentle downhill, and there were plenty of shade trees and cheering fans all along 17th Street. (My favorite sign was the one that said "Run, Total Stranger, Run!") There was even a brass band playing "Rock n' Roll, Part II", eliciting a rousing response from the crowd of runners.

The rest of the race is best described as a "survival slog". (Around mile 10, I thought I might have to use the term "death march" in my blog, but it got a little better after I passed Colorado Blvd and knew that the end was within reach.) I had begun the race knowing I'd be happy with a finish time under 2:30, but with three miles to go, I realized that I actually had a shot at 2:15. If you'd have asked me before the race, I'd have told you I'd be tremendously happy with 2:20, but knowing that the faster time was a possibility kept me pushing hard.

I tried my best to pick it up with about one mile to go. (I haven't looked at my GPS log yet, but I suspect that I did get a bit faster once I was back inside the park.) It wasn't pretty, though; I even heard one spectator comment to a friend "Ooh, that dude is hurting." It sure was good to finally see the finish line.

It's always exciting to run down that finish chute, with the crowd cheering and the announcer announcing. (This photo shows Kim coming across. He's the one to the right of the frame in the gray shirt and day-glo visor.) I really like the "bib chip" arrangement (even though I had torn my bib and had to tuck it under the strap at around mile 8); just walking on down the gauntlet sure beats having to stop and remove the timing mechanism from your shoelaces. I grabbed a bottle of water and a Finisher's Medal, and followed the other runners to the far end of the pen and out. It wasn't until later that I realized they had other goodies to hand out(Coke, bagels, and for some reason, grocery bags), but once I had exited the chute, they wouldn't let me go back in for extra swag. Oh well...there was lunch and beer waiting over in the Expo area across the park.

After I located Kim, we wandered over to the food line. I showed my drivers license to the beer-line monitor and was given a wrist strap that would verify I was over 21. (I assume this was necessary because I look so incredibly young, right? Right?) The lunch consisted of a BBQ pork sandwich and a wad of cole slaw, washed down by the single cup of Michelob Ultra you received in exchange for tear-off coupons from your race bib (assuming you had a wristband, of course).

The BBQ sandwich was OK, if about one third the size that would be required to satisfy my appetite. And I don't know much about beer--perhaps adult beverages taste different immediately after you've run a half-marathon--but it seemed utterly bland and weak. I would've preferred the kick from a Coke. But it's still good to have a meal and a drink right after a race, especially if it's in a beautiful park on a gorgeous day.

We hung around briefly and wandered through the Expo area, but there didn't seem to be any good giveaways. Retrieving our morning clothes from the Bag Check area was a much larger ordeal than it should've been -- apparently the concept of "arranging by number" had not occured to anyone -- but we eventually found our stuff and headed home. I spent the remainder of the day relaxing. Kim told me that he went home and chopped down a tree. Yeah, OK, whatever, dude. Most people would take it easy after running a race like that, but if he wants to challenge his tired legs with extra yard work, more power to him.

But it was a good day by any measure. And I know what you're wanting to ask: "So, Terry, when are you going to man-up and run a FULL marathon, ya big ol' panzy?" Well, my friends, I don't know. I'm not saying it will never happen...but it won't be any time soon. Still, this race was a positive experience, and could possibly be considered as a move forward in my run training. But we'll have to wait and see what happens next. In the meantime, thank you all for your continuing support. I really do appreciate it. Have a great day!

Possible Connection....

With my history as a self-help author, motivational speaker, and longtime swim coach, you might think that my inspiration would be internally generated. A wise man once said, "We forge our bodies in the fire of our wills,"...and who better than an experienced coach to personify the principles of self-discipline and spontaneous sporting enthusiasm? It would make perfect sense to assume that I am one of those people whose relentless drive and continual focus on performance excellence derives from a spark that resides within.

But the truth is that I mainly thrive on the inspiration provided by the athletes I hang out with. Without their excellent role modeling, vigorous encouragement, and constant displays of positive attitudes, I'd probably just be a couch potato. Instead of striving toward new athletic goals, I'd spend my spare time molding buttockular indentations into the sofa cushions.

I mentioned before that my energetic friend Kim had talked me into signing up for the Colfax Marathon, which takes place this coming Sunday. I also mentioned that my workout progress had made it very clear that I would not be able to finish such a race within the 6-hour time limit, and that I would most likely suffer fatal injuries (or embarrassment) should I even make the attempt. After coming to that conclusion, I was most content to re-allocate the alloted time toward snacking and watching TV -- but Kim had a different idea. "Let's do the half-marathon instead!"

OK, sure. Thanks, buddy. The race is this Sunday. I'll be slow and cautious, and will probably be the guy that everyone cheers for because he's so much slower than everyone else -- so they assume he's afflicted with some horrible deformity and thus deserves applause simply for making the effort. The truth is that I'm just a regular fat guy with a bum hamstring and inadequate training; and that certainly deserves no special recognition. But if they do give me sympathy cheers, I'll smile and wave back and hobble along to the best of my ability.

Why do it at all when I know I have no shot at a good performance? Because it'll be a good workout and a chance to test my mental toughness. And besides, it's always fun to be in the race environment; you can't help but absorb energy and positive vibes from the early-morning crowd of highly-caffeinated athletes. I know that Kim and I will both enjoy the experience, regardless of finish times.

Anyway, if I were in shape for running, I'd be tapering this week. But since I'm not, there was no reason not to do a track workout with my brother last night. (Yes, he is another one of the folks who inspires me and keeps me working out. Would I even go to the track by myself? Not likely.) We didn't do a lot of repeats, and the total duration of the workout was brief, but we both worked hard.

Not hard enough to account for all the pizza we ate afterwards...but that's another story. The point I wanted to make here originated from the game of catch we played after running.

A little background: My biggest problem with running is that I have a weird tightness in my left hamstring that causes that leg to engage in a funny jerking motion when I run. It also hurts. It's been doing that for a long time.

Pat really enjoys baseball, and has been working on his pitching. He throws hard, but his accuracy is, um, a tad unpredictable. But he likes to throw the ball with me when he can, and I try to oblige him. The problem is that I'm not very good at catching the ball. Part of the problem is my vision; with the trifocals and the additional acuity fluctuations caused by my RK eye surgery, I have trouble picking up where the ball is going. Part of the problem is that I don't practice enough to be good, even if I could see well. And part of the problem (and this is the key point in this discussion) is that I'm a little skittish after sustaining several baseball-related injuries over the years.

Other than the Water World slide incident (broken ankle) and a few sore knees and blisters from running here and there, I've never really hurt myself in any sport other than baseball/softball. But whenever I've tried to play ball regularly, I haven't made it through the summer without getting seriously hurt in some way or another. Some have been relatively minor (broken fingers, broken ribs, concussions, etc.), but the one that came to mind after last night's catch session might be really important. I hadn't thought of it in years, and hadn't attached any significance to it...but about a decade ago I totally blew out my -- you guessed it -- left hamstring.

I don't know why I haven't made that connection before. It was one of those "all-out sprint to make the catch...but then fall down and scream in agony" kinds of injuries. When it happened, I thought I would need an ambulance to get to the hospital, but after some rest and ice and ibuprofen was somehow able to drive myself. They just prescribed rest and anti-inflamatories and the pain eventually went away, so I thought it was fixed. But now I'm thinking it was a more severe injury than we thought, and it was never adequately treated. Hmm.

How does this relevation help me in my current situation? It probably doesn't. I doubt that surgery is an option, so I'm left with the same solutions: stretching, ice, massage, and the old "when it hurts, stop doing it" option. But at least it's good to have something to blame for the problem. Now when people ask me why my running is so laughably non-symmetrical, I can confidently answer "It's an old baseball injury." (OK, that's a lie -- it was a softball game. But baseball sounds better.)

So, with that, I guess I'm ready for the weekend. When some tottering obese grandmother passes me during the race, I'll just shout out "Hey! I could beat you if it wasn't for this old baseball injury, dagnabbit!"

I just hope there's some of the post-race food left by the time I finish. Oh well. Wish me luck, and have a great day!

Epic

I'm currently reading the Steve Jobs biography. A few days ago we talked about Philo Farnsworth and the invention of television. While channel surfing the other night, I ran across a PBS show about the construction of the Crazy Horse monument. All these things have gotten me thinking about projects of grand scope or epic impact...so I thought I'd chat about a few of them today.

First, let me just say that I'm not a fan of the Apple mindset. The Macintosh interface frustrates me, and their arrogant "Do it my way or else" philosophy makes me even more reluctant to pay the high prices they demand. But there's no denying that Jobs and his vision of how things should be have influenced the shape of our world.

But what about great stone monuments? Do they change the way people live out their daily lives? Probably not. But I find that I do greatly admire the commitment it takes to tackle a project of multi-generational magnitude. The pyramids, Mt. Rushmore, Stonehenge, et al...well, they're just cool!

So are Hoover Dam, the US Interstate Highway System, and the Martian Canals. On a smaller scale, Coors Field may not rival the timeless grandeur of Machu Picchu, but it's still a groovy place to spend a weekend afternoon. In addition to the many epic marvels for us to admire within the world of architecture, there are also Nature's astounding accomplishments (canyons, lakes, ski slopes, Devil's Towers, etc), and I enjoy taking time every now and then to just sit back to contemplate these things and say "Wow!"

When we sit in an office all day, we sometimes forget how amazing our world can be, and how the ideas of our visionary predecessors continue to affect us each and every day. When I plug in my laptop to receive invisible power and datastreams, I don't often think about how amazing it is that Al Gore was able to create the infrastructure to make it possible. But that's the mode I'm in today, and I'd like to solicit your input.

What things do you think qualify to be labelled as "epic"?

Don't limit yourself to structural accomplishments. For example, every Sunday I listen to "The Beatle Years" on the radio while driving to swim practice. Think about it: Four scroungy hippie guys made some guitar music that still merits weekly discussions half a century later. Wow. And look at the influential and eternal body of work that constitutes The Simpsons, South Park, and Baywatch. Totally epic.

The "Dark Side of the Moon" album may qualify, and so might Santa's ability to deliver billions of toys all in one night. But what else? And are there any future epic accomplishments that YOU would particularly like to see? Permanent colonies on Ceti Alpha Five? A society made up entirely of mimes? Super-soldiers created by mixing DNA from tigers, bears, rattlesnakes, and Jean Claude Van Damme?

Let me know. In the meantime, try to spend just one 24-hour period paying attention to how many really cool things you run across as you go about your business. And have a great day!

Mother's Day

I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if my mother had lived a few more years.

Oh, I probably would still be a nerd; both my parents possessed innate nerdward tendencies in abundance. I still would've retained my poindexterism in academic apptitudes, and still would've been in the marching band. Even when my mom was around to pick out my clothes for school, I remained conspicuously noncompliant with ongoing fashion trends. And since my DNA saw to it that I needed glasses and was built like an anemic scarecrow, I was probably going to suffer my fair share of bully problems, regardless how many parents I had.

But I know she'd have loved me, nurtured me, and guided me in ways that my dad just couldn't do. I am quite certain I'd have had more confidence in myself throughout school, and would've been able to develop more complete relationships (especially with girls) as I struggled to grow up. And I know I'd have been spared the searing jealousy I felt toward every "normal" kid who had a mom who could fix him meals, drive him to the park, or give him a hug when he needed one.

If my mother had been alive to see me through junior high, high school, and college, I'm sure I'd have gone through the normal developmental phase of thinking that Mother's Day was nothing more than a manipulative ploy by the greeting card companies, and I'd probably have been annoyed by the obligation to take her out to lunch.

But let me tell you, I'd give anything for that opportunity now.

---

As usual, the weekend went by far too quickly.

The cold and drizzly weather forced the formulation of some alternate exercise plans. I discarded any thoughts of riding bikes in the mountains and instead spent some time at the gym. I did manage to run a little bit outside, but wasn't able to generate any great speed or enthusiasm. At best, my weekend exercise served as maintenance -- it didn't advance my athletic training in any significant way. Still, I had fun...and wish there were a few more weekend days I could use before starting back to work.

Oh well. And speaking of work, how did we do on our little vegetable puzzle?



Everybody got "Tom-ato", though a couple of folks thought it was Tom Selleck rather than Tom Jones. Younger readers may not be familiar with Mr. Jones, but he's one of those guys who was popular, then for some reason became a bit of a pop culture joke, and then made a comeback when people realized that he's actually quite talented.

Po-tatos were easy, as well...especially since you could still figure it out even if you didn't know each of the icons. The blind shaolin priest is, of course, Master Po from the TV series "Kung Fu". The actor is the venerable Keye Luke, who we featured earlier as a "Keye-wi" fruit. (He was also the voice of Mr. Han in "Enter the Dragon", and is a delight in every role he played.) Master Po is responsible for coming up with the nickname "Grasshopper", which is now used to refer to any neophyte who requires philosophical counseling. (He started called Caine by that name when he gave him a lecture on awareness, noting that the old blind guy knew that there was a grasshopper at the kid's feet, when the boy himself was oblivious to the fact.)

The black and white mustachioed fellow has been previously featured in these pages as well. He is famed horror author Edgar Allen Poe, who created many macabre and terrifying nightmares...and is currently being portrayed onscreen by John Cusack. Despite the terrors that were created by good ol' Edgar Allen, there was never anything from the darkest corners of his imagination that even begins to compare with the utter evil and sheer unmitigated repugnance of the minions from Hell known as the Teletubbies. The red-garbed potato demon with the circular antenna is the Teletubby known as Po, generally regarded as Satan's most dastardly henchman, and the inspiration for many movie villains such as the Gremlins, Chucky, and the pit worm that tries to eat Han Solo after Jabba tosses him overboard. Teletubby Po totally creeps me out.

Thank goodness our next vegetable is so utterly upstanding and wholesome. This is the Q-cumber, featuring Desmond Llewelyn, who played Her Majesty's ultimate gadget master in all the classic James Bond movies.

Back to evil in the next panel, where we have Szell-ery. This character is a Nazi Dentist, which is just about the worst kind of human being that exists this side of a rap musician. Played by Sir Lawrence Olivier in the movie "Marathon Man", the character of Herr Szell uses dental drills to torture people as part of his diamond smuggling plans. (Yes, it's true -- the movie has very little to do with long distance running.) Showing his versatility, Sir Larry also played a Nazi hunter (based on the real life crusader for justice, Simon Wiesenthal) in "The Boys From Brazil", which was not really about the vibrant culture of South America, either.

Good lord, just imagine what sort of horror film you could make with a Nazi Dentist Rapper Teletubby. I shudder at the thought.

Anyway, the final panel brings us back to the good side of life. Aunt Bee'ns. (Yes, even though her full name is Beatrice, she spells it like the flying insect or the spelling contest, eschewing the standard truncation "Bea".) She is a good-hearted old matron, who knows the value of hearty meals and fancy hats, and takes care of Opie as if he were really her son. So, even though Opie didn't grow up with a mom either, at least he had someone to whom he could give a card on Mother's Day. (Of course, he still had to deal with being named Opie and having Barney Fife as an elder mentor, so he definitely had the cards stacked against him.)

In any case, I hope you've been inspired to eat your vegetables, and I hope you experienced a glorious Mother's Day weekend. Let's roll with this weekend's momentum and try to be a little nicer to ALL our loved ones throughout the coming weeks, OK?

Have a great Monday!

Barefoot

After enjoying my run on Sunday, I was hoping to feel really peppy and loose at track practice Tuesday night. Alas, the "sitting at a desk all day" thing continues to take its toll. I worked hard, but the awesome speed I was expecting to magically appear remained absent. The thing that made me really feel bad was that there was a young lady at the track who was running her mile repeats at a pace that was 30 seconds per 400 faster than my all-out sprints.

It's a good thing I can call myself a swimmer. If my personal identity depended on my running to define me, I'd be a sad, sad man.

As it is, though, I'm having tons of fun. Oh sure, I complain about having to spend the day at the office when I'd rather be out climbing mountains and taking pictures of bigfoot, etc. But if being a slow runner is the worst problem I have in my life, well, I'm not doing too darn bad, am I?

Still, I continue to work on the hamstring issue. After running our stack of 400-100-100 repeats, I took my shoes off and ran some on the football field. It felt good to feel the grass between my toes, and Pat observed that my hamstring hiccup motion was less obvious in barefoot mode. I'm thinking this will become a new part of my routine...at least until the grass gets all brown and prickly.

Anyway, I finally realized that I forgot to ever explain how this guy relates to John Carter. The actor's name is Kenneth Mars (get it?), shown here in his role as Inspector Kemp in "Young Frankenstein". You may also know Mr. Mars as the author of "Springtime for Hitler", or perhaps as the amazingly annoying Hugh in "What's Up, Doc?". I'm not sure if being named after a planet was an influence in choosing comedy as a career, but if it worked for Mickey Mouse's dog, well...why not?

As for yesterday's food quiz, it was apparently WAY too easy.



"Catwoman" is 2nd place on the list of all-time crappy superhero movies, right behind "Daredevil". But Halle Berry looked great, so the movie's memories will live on in Halloween costume form. Anyway, our "Halle-peño" was the most popular of our celebrity foods.

Some of the younger folks did not recognize the "Lou Brock-oli", though, which makes me sad. Brock was the absolute master of the basepaths, and held the stolen base record for a long time. He was one of those guys that made baseball exciting regardless of the score.

Lauren Bacall-iflower was apparently easy, same as it is to recall her most famous quote: "When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise." I'm not sure what prompted her to say that, but hey...when you're right, you're right.

I purposely chose an younger photo of Keye Luke for our "Keye-wi" graphic. Some readers may have recognized him from his role as "numba one son" from the Charlie Chan movies. But folks of my generation remember him either as the blind Shaolin philosopher from the Kung Fu TV series, or as the somewhat inept prison colony governor from the "Lord Garth" episode of Star Trek. (If I'm not mistaken, that's also the episode that caused the "agon" to become standardized as the universal unit for measuring the intensity of pain.)

The final panel is an "Eric Bana-na", which is probably a poisonous fruit. Eric Bana is most notable for redeeming his career after ruining the first Hulk movie by playing a pretty decent bad guy in the recent rebirth of the Star Trek franchise. (Well, OK, I have to be fair here -- Nick Nolte deserves equal credit for the abominable suckage of "Hulk". Ruining something that has the combined appeal of both Jennifer Connelly and Sam Elliot definitely requires a team effort.)

Anyway, I thought I'd continue with the same theme in our next puzzle, but hope to have added a modest degree of difficulty. I dunno, though -- this might be just about as easy as the other one. In any case, I hope you enjoy it. (Click to enlarge.)



As always, though, there's more than just trivia involved here. I am hoping that these images will also encourage you (and me) to eat healthy and nutritious foods, and thereby fully support our efforts to perform well in whatever sports we attempt. I wish the best of luck to you with fueling both your mind and your body.

Have a great day!

Summer Jobs

Sorry, I forgot to include the hint that would've made this puzzle a little easier. The device in the second panel is a television set. Got it now?

OK, how about this then; the guy at the far right was the first person to attempt to merge Jewish traditions into Greek culture. (Hey, do I know how to blend pop culture and history, or what?)



The answer is "Philo". I'm sure everyone recognized Clint Eastwood in his pugilistic role as Philo Beddoe, bareknuckle fisticuffs champeen of the back alleys and truck stops, as portrayed in the classic movie "Every Which Way But Loose." (Bonus personal trivia information for you: The motorcycle gang Clint encounters is called the "Black Widows", which happens to be the name of the patrol I belonged to when I was in the Boy Scouts. Is this a small world, or what?)

The genius featured in the second frame is Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, which enabled Gene Roddenberry to later bless us with the gift of Star Trek. (Of course, there's always someone who will take a wonderful thing and turn it to evil...but you can't blame Farnsworth for Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer, can you?)

Next we have Anthony Geary in his role as Philo, the disguised alien studio technician in the Weird Al classic "UHF". Geary is probably more famous for his role as "Luke" on the General Hospital soap opera, but his performance in UHF is arguably his best effort. And if you haven't seen the movie, you really should. It is ranked as one of the Top Twenty Films of All Time, and also features such notable thespians as Gedde Watanabe and Billy Barty. You can find a couple of my favorite clips here and here.

The last fellow is Philo of Alexandria, aka Philo the Jew. I'm sure most of you remember your Greek philosophical history in detail, but if not, you can brush up on it by Googling the guy. I can't prove it, but some people also believe that his portrait was one of the inspirations for the cartoon character Popeye.



The theme of this graphic is "Coleman." The first fellow is Denholm Elliot, in his role of Coleman the butler in the brilliant comedy "Trading Places". You may also remember him from "Raiders of the Lost Ark", too. As to why no one names their children "Denholm" anymore, I haven't a clue.

The second guy is Gary Coleman, known primarily as a politician, though he lost the California governor's race to Arnold Schwarzenegger. The irony here is that he played a character named "Arnold" on the TV show "Webster." (Wait, maybe it wasn't Webster. Family Ties, perhaps? Facts of Life? I can't remember for sure, but it was one of those sitcoms where most of the cast ended up as bums on drugs in real life. There were so many of those that I get them mixed up.) Sadly, Mr. Coleman passed away in 2010, but not before he appeared on The Simpsons.

The dude with the saxomophone is jazz legend Coleman Hawkins. He is credited as being one of the influential forces in the bebop movement that began in the 1940s. He even played with superstars like Django Reinhardt. Very cool.

The last panel features a Coleman lantern. Many a camper has enjoyed its warm glow and comforting thrum during dark nights in the woods. As you may be aware, the Coleman company began in Wichita, Kansas, which happens to be where I grew up. And as fate would have it, I spent a couple of summers working on an assembly line filling up empty cans with lantern and campstove fuel.

I'll tell that tale on my biographical history blog (www.heggy.blogspot.com) at some point, but for now will just say that there is NO WAY nowadays that OSHA would allow us to work under the conditions we did back then. There were times when the fuel distributor device would malfunction and flammable liquid would spray everywhere. The thought of sandal-wearing teenagers wading through puddles of freestanding gasoline in a 95° sweatshop would horrify modern parents -- but we were happy to do it for our $2.50 per hour wages. I bought a new color television set with my wages from that summer job, so I could bask in the glow of Philo Farnsworth's inventiveness when I went back to college in the fall. Anyway, when I get around to writing up my summer job memoirs on the other site, I'll be sure to post a note here.

In the meantime, here's a celebrity food quiz for you. Any idea what we would call these fruits and veggies?

Good luck, and have a great day!

Gorgeous Sunday

First, let me offer a word of advice to those of you who have chest straps for your heart-rate monitors:

Do not throw them in with the rest of the laundry.

My chest strap is squeaky clean now, but for some reason it no longer talks to my GPS watch. I'm hoping that it's a case of the battery discharging itself among the suds, and that a new power source will cure its ills. But I wouldn't be surprised if the device has sustained some other sort of damage.

I should sue Timex, though, because I'm pretty sure there's no warning label on the strap that says "Do Not Launder." That there is bona fide corporate negligence, it is, and I should make them pay!

Or not. I'm actually feeling pretty mellow these days. After all, I had an awesome weekend.



I was planning to run some steps at Red Rocks on Sunday, but as I was putting on my shoes I realized that I had begun the morning in one of my more solitary moods. By the time I'd finish my workout, there would be hundreds of athletes, dogs, and tourists up there--yet I was feeling more of an urge to commune with Nature. So instead of heading to Red Rocks, I went up to Deer Creek Canyon Park.

It's a fairly challenging trail, and unlike the steps at Red Rocks, there are no handrails. I had 90 minutes before I'd need to be back at the car to go to swim practice. I knew I wouldn't have time to do the entire 7-mile Plymouth Mountain loop, so I decided to just run up the path until I thought it was time to turn around. I'm usually far slower going down the hill; my tender knees combined with questionable depth perception due to my keratotomy/trifocal visual difficulties force me to be rather tentative on the descents. But as I warmed up, I realized that I felt great! My legs were steadier than usual...so I felt I could risk going outbound for the full 45 minutes.

Very few people were out there yet, and it was wonderful to be exercising in the woods. As usual, I heard sporadic anonymous rustling in the vegetation off the trail, which I always attribute to pumas, bears, or perhaps the dreaded snipe. (It quickens your pace to imagine such things, trust me.) At one point, I did nearly step on a fat bird of some sort (I think it was a grouse). He politely stepped off the trail, but appeared determined to continue on the people path as soon as I had passed by. Pretty casual behavior for somebody whose kind is often eaten by my species, I thought.

Anyway, it was an absolutely phenomenal morning.



And my legs held up. I wasn't fast, but I felt good. I began to wonder why I don't do these trails more often. Since it's steep, I don't seem to notice my chronic hamstring tightness as much. This is a good thing.

I did finally pass by a few other folks who were heading up as I was descending. I somehow managed to avoid all the roots and protruding stones that have tripped me up in the past, and made it back to my car at precisely the desired time. I was grinning throughout the drive back to the pool, and continued to feel good during the entire swim practice. It was a great way to start the day!

So...how was your Sunday? I hope you had as much fun as I did.

Not that this has anything to do with that (or anything else for that matter), but a conversation I had with my brother caused me to think of these fellows:



Any idea what they have in common?

OK, how about these?



That's all for now. I'll leave you to ponder these graphics (and any other grand philosophical challenges you'd care to undertake.) If you live in Colorado, please take a moment to be grateful for the beauty that surrounds you. And if you live elsewhere, well, you can just be jealous of the good fortune we enjoy here. But no matter where you are, have a great day!

Progress

Good news! My Internet connection seems to have stabilized. The Comcast technician was pleasant, bright, and and very quick in doing what he had to do. The bad news is that he couldn't actually find anything wrong, so he wasn't exactly sure what needed fixing. So, he replaced all the cables and connectors (both inside and outside my condo) and reset everything. Since the system has worked since then, I'm ready to conclude that the repair was successful.

I'll bring you up to date on the last few days of training in a minute. But first, let's talk discuss our most recent musical instrument puzzle:



We begin with a Fender Telly-caster, of course. (Who loves ya, baby?) Next is a Mr. French Horn, followed by an O-Bo. And finally a Donald Trumpet.

OK, yeah, that was pretty lame. I'll try a little harder next time. (By the way, Mr. French actually recorded an album of Bob Dylan songs. Click here if you dare.)

But guess what? I actually rode my bike after work on Thursday evening. It was somewhat blustery, with a minor threat of impending rain. But I wasn't straying too far from the car, so I figured I could beat any precipitation that appeared to be rolling in. And every cyclist knows that wind hates us and will attack at any opportunity...so we just deal with it. Do your worst, vile air currents...we shall persevere regardless!

What I failed to anticipate was...the @#&$*! bugs.

I rode around Chatfield, and was constantly peppered by gnats, grasshoppers, and who knows what other sorts of nasty little insect projectiles. I sometimes forget the reasons I prefer morning workouts over evening exercise, but experiences like this help remind me. But I worked reasonably hard, and was glad I got the saddle time.The next morning began with "Fun Friday" swim practice, as usual, which everyone absolutely loved...also as usual. And after that workout, I somehow managed to dredge up the energy to slip on the running shoes and go for a jog. If anyone had filmed it, and then played it back at double the speed, it would still look like I was running at William Conrad velocities.

But I was proud of myself for having the discipline to do the run. It was an excellent Friday.

Saturday morning started with an early bike ride with my Foothills Masters Cycling Team buddies. We did Deer Creek, Highgrade, and CityView, and my total was nearly 40 miles. The others all rode from their homes, which gave them a longer total distance.

These photos are near the spot on CityView where you can, um, well...view the city. I like the way it sorta looks like an ocean off in the background. But no, that's just the flatlands, far below the roads we traveled.

It's always important to remember to enjoy the mountains. Sometimes I get so immersed in just trying to keep up with these awesome studly biker chicks that I forget to look around, and to breathe in the scent of the pine trees. And of course, while I'm huffing, puffing, gasping, and wheezing, the girls are having an effortless jolly conversation about kids' sports or camping or whatever...as if they were strolling on the beach as opposed to cranking their way up an egregiously steep road, a mile and a half above sea level. Sigh.

But I did enjoy it. It was a gorgeous ride, and I'm pleased to say that I think my posterior is becoming better and better acclimated to sitting on the bike. I still don't have the power I'll need for the Triple Bypass in July, but I'm off to a good start for the season. With friends like these to keep me motivated and committed, I'm sure that I'll be ready. And since I'm pretty sure our group will want to do something like this again next weekend, why don't you check your calendar and see if you might be able to come along for the ride?

If you do, you'll have a great day! I guarantee it.

See you then!

I'll Catch Up Over the Weekend

I have no excuses.

I just seem to have been slow and out of phase this week, at least when it comes to bloggery and biking. But Friday presents an opportunity to do some catchup work. My only daytime obligation (other than coaching a FUN swim practice in the morning) is to meet with the Comcast technician who's coming over to figure out why my Internet keeps blinking out.

The outages seem to be completely random. For the last week, the red "offline" light has been flashing more often than not. I've tried all the recommended solutions -- check the cables and connections, unplug-wait-replug, system reboot, goat sacrifice, etc -- but nothing has had any effect. The next level of escalation would be to call Comcast...but my telephone service is Vonage VOIP, which means it doesn't work if the Internet is down.

Don't suggest using my cell phone. That plan costs me twenty-five cents per minute and has ultra-crappy quality on its best day. I don't want to watch the cash drain away as I sit on hold for 30 minutes, only to reach a tech who can't understand what I'm saying through all the static when I do try to talk.

So I called the trouble line during one of the times when I had service, and of course, their diagnostics found nothing wrong. But I went ahead and set up an appointment for a housecall tomorrow. I'm guessing he's going to open up the connector box outside and find that it's full of black widows and tse tse flies. "Well there's your problem."

No, on second thought, it's more likely that the diagnosis will include the requirement to buy new cables, a new modem, a new router, and a new computer that was personally hand-crafted by the tap-dancing grandchildren of Ricardo Montalban. It's gonna cost me.

Oh well, what's the point of life if not to toil for endless hours in corporate slavery so you can just barely afford to maintain your eternal connection to the worldwide web? (Well, that and raise ungrateful children who move away and never return your phone calls. Oh yeah...and swimming.)

Anyway, during the times I was offline and therefore unable to watch reruns of the Weird Al Show on Netflix, I started thinking up a few more graphical puzzles that I'll present to you over the coming few days. The first one is the easiest; perhaps the most obvious puzzle I've ever posted. All you have to do is name the four musical instruments represented here (remember, you can click to embiggen the picture):



Let me know your answers. I should probably hand out some sort of prize for the first correct response...but that would require work. And if I was willing to work, then I could probably find a way to post more than one blog per week, couldn't I? Sigh. Anyway, my admiration for your sharp mind should be reward enough.

And if you have some extra time to correspond, I'd be interested to hear what YOU thought of "John Carter" (if you were one of the few folks who saw it). And while we're on that topic, let's take a poll: What is the best Mars-based movie you've ever seen? And for bonus points, what's the connection between that question and the fellow shown to the right?

Good luck, stay connected, and have a great day!