The Daily Planet

This past week provoked some sweet nostalgia.

First, it was my most influential swim coach's birthday. I have been fortunate to swim for several coaches I greatly admire, including Doug Sidles, John Deardorf, and Dick Reamon. But in addition to being a great coach who dramatically improved my swimming, Bill Spahn also served as the inspiration for my own swim coaching career. He is a great guy who has been a fantastic influence on a huge number of athletes over the years. Happy Birthday, Bill! And thanks!

Kudos to sharp-eyed readers who noticed that Bill is pictured in the photo on the left, while his movie-star doppelganger (Ted Hartley) is pictured on the right. Bill did have a supporting role in "Dr. Thunderfinger Is Forvever", but his acting career unfortunately stalled after that performance. Hartley's most notable role was hotel owner Lewis Belding in "High Plains Drifter", where he participated in the "Welcome to Lago" bed-whomping scene that became a minor Wichita Swim Club tradition on swim meet road trips.

(In the movie, when the townfolk tired of Eastwood's attitude, they snuck into his hotel room with sticks and ax handles and went all Clockwork Orange on the drifter during his sleep. Unfortunately for them, he anticipated those shenanigans...and was outside the window with a surprise for them. Anyway, we modified the maneuver for general audiences, using pillows rather than baseball bats to administer a feather-filled whuppin' to fellow swimmers who refused to get out of bed with the expected enthusiasm for early-morning swim meet warmup. (There were no anti-bullying laws in those days, so I'm pretty sure we violated no statutes. Heck, we viewed it as a sort of public-service alarm-clock substitute.)

My next nostalgia reminder came in the form of a 100-foot tall Japanese flying sphinx who takes orders from a 10-year-old boy. That's right -- we're talking about Johnny Sokko and his flying robot.

Just as Bill Spahn influenced my swimming, my best friend and college roommate Mickey influenced most of the rest of my life...by introducing me to the joys to be found in the magical world of excessive TV viewership. Mickey and I spent many an hour absorbing the life lessons found in classic shows.

The number one lesson is probably to avoid Japan and all its humongous monsters -- unless Johnny Sokko and Giant Robot are on hand to save the day. (Or maybe UltraMan. Or sometimes Godzilla.) Other, perhaps more personal lessons came from the Beverly Hillbillies (it's nice to be rich), Green Acres (start every day with hotscakes, and always wear a vest when working outdoors), and Popeye (eat your vegetables, date skinny chicks, and solve every conceivable problems with brutal violence.)

Anyway, without Mickey's relentless commitment to prioritizing television over scholasticism, I probably wouldn't have ended up majoring in Radio/TV/Film...and I wouldn't be nearly as observant about the subtleties to be found within cinematic entertainment. For example, take a look at this picture:



It's pretty obvious how Giant Robot achieves flight. He has rockets on his back. Sure, they don't seem to be properly aligned for straight and level flight, and probably risk melting his feet and/or buttockular area, but I'm willing to suspend skepticism because of the general Japanese reputation for excellence in robotics.

Superman, on the other hand, has no visible method of propulsion.



Perhaps it is some sort of directed gravity control. If so, his ability to control it must be biological in nature, since he appears to need to exert greater effort when he wants to go faster. But whatever provides his thrust, it apparently violates Newton's third law of motion in that there seems to be no equal and opposite reaction as he flies. But here's my biggest question: Since he is always shown flying head-first, how does he reverse his body orientation for his elegant feet-first landing whenever he comes swooshing in through an open window? That would seem to be a pretty impressive acrobatic feat, but nobody ever talks about how cool it is to watch him somersault in for a landing. Hmm.

They never show him moving faster than a speeding bullet, either -- but I'll accept that based on the logical idea that it provides greater ego satisfaction to have the bullets bounce off your impressive pectorals than it is to use your speed to move out of the way like a panzy. Whatever. As for changing the course of mighty rivers, well, you and I could do that ourselves using a simple shovel...given enough time.

Anyway, here's another observation I've had when watching the old TV show that I love so much. During the opening title sequence, I am curious about the sequence where they fire the speeding bullet. Knowing the size and bulk of the cameras in use at the time, I'm guessing that the gun and hand pivot for the shot, rather than having the camera revolve around the pistol. Either way, though, the lack of recoil certainly implies that the gun was mounted to something solid; I doubt that even a professional marksman could hold it that steady...even when firing a blank round.

OK, that's all I have for today. It's been fun reliving some childhood and college memories. I hope this discussion sparked some fun memories for you, too. Thanks for dropping by, and have a great day!