Election Day

I hope that everyone (who thinks the way I do) was able to cast your vote.

On the other hand, if you're one of them commie barstids who likes rap music, Brussels sprouts, and any of the Kardashians, then I sincerely hope you tossed your ballot in the shredder and just kept combing your mullet and chawin' yer terbacky. It's wise to leave the decision-making to those of us who understand the complexities of the issues.

And speaking of complexities, you'll be happy to know that I have almost...ALMOST finished processing the photos from my trip home from Milwaukee. Next time you visit this site, you may be able to share in the experiences of touring Wall Drug, walking among the Badlands of South Dakota, and experiencing an encounter with a hungry tyrannosaurus rex.

For today, though, my thoughts are on choices. My hope is that the new Congress will pay more attention to the people they're supposed to represent, but I am not optimistic that things will be any more civil, sane, or rational than they have been. But we shall see.

In the meantime, I thought I'd provide you with a short quiz that is scientifically designed to reveal whether you are well-informed and intelligent enough to make good decisions when it's time to fill out your ballot. If you fail the test, it doesn't mean you forfeit any of your Constitutional rights -- it just means that you are more Gilligan than you are Professor, and as such should just go out to gather coconuts while the rest of us do the heavy lifting in society.

The format is simple: all you have to do is choose the superior item from each of the pairs listed below. For example, if the choices are "Elvis" and "Milli Vanilli", you would select Elvis. If the choices are "Bert Convey" and "John Wayne", you gotta go with the Duke. Make sense? Good...now begin.

1. Dr. Pepper vs. Mr. Pibb

2. Blue Oyster Cult vs. U2

3. Sonny Bono vs. any other Bono

4. Kirk vs. Picard

5. Fred Rutherford vs. Mel Cooley

6. Chia Head vs. Pet Rock

7. Mr. Rogers vs. Mr. T

8. Will Robinson vs. Andy Robinson

9. Mel Blanc vs. Daws Butler

10. Ricardo Montalban vs. Benedict Cumberbatch

Good luck, and have a great day!