Dinosaurs

Today's kids go through phases where they become temporarily obsessed with things like Pokemon, Harry Potter, and Lego versions of Bobba Fett. But when I was young, it was all about dinosaurs.

Well, OK, I also had my serious planetary science phase (nine, count 'em -- nine planets), and a brief infatuation with Norse mythology...not to mention developing a minor crush on Nancy Drew. But at the time, I knew the names of all the major dinosaur brands.

I can't remember where I got them, but my siblings and I had a collection of plastic dinos, including the ever-popular ankylosaurus (pictured above), stegosaurus, triceratops, and of course, T-Rex. We also had a brontosaurus (whose name was later repealed for some reason) and deinonychus, which has been superseded in popular culture by his cousin the velociraptor. I played with these dino toys in the sandbox, in the tub, and while watching TV. I made them fight Zorro and Roy Rogers, as well as legions of your standard little green army men.

Anyway, the point is that everybody thinks dinosaurs are cool. So when I was invited to go see "Jurassic World" last weekend, I did not protest.

I enjoyed it. Though the plot holes are nearly as monstrous as the de-extincted carnivores (at least that's what I think they called them), and the plausibility of that many people displaying utter and irredeemable stupidity stretches credulity -- I still enjoyed the movie.

(Well, OK, we do have the government to remind us that unmitigated large-scale idiocy does have precedent, but we generally expect screenwriters to give us at least moderately responsible protagonists.)

I like Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard. And the kids were tolerable. But I am really tired of the one-dimensional "corporate greed" and "military evil" memes that seem to be the only plot drivers Hollywood is capable of creating. Vince D'Onofrio did a wonderful job of displaying nuanced morality in his role as Kingpin for Netflix's Daredevil series, but comes off as nothing more than a tired cliche in Jurassic World.

But what about the special effects? Well, they were excellent. But I realized as I watched the credits that I am no longer able to be stunned by special effects. I expect them to be spectacular. I expect a movie to show me a world without seams, where the man behind the curtain draws no attention to himself. I had no trouble suspending disbelief at all -- for over two hours, I was content to be sitting in a room with real live dinosaurs. I wasn't disappointed...but I wasn't stunned. I love you, Ray Harryhausen, but the torch has been passed.

Anyway, the point is that it's an OK movie, if you don't think too much about the plot. (I mean, once you've released the pterodactyls, you're going to have to always watch the skies. Right?)

While we're on the subject of dinosaurs, let's talk about my family. To my son, it appears that my siblings and I were born in prehistoric times...back when stone knives and bearskins were the only tools you had for fabricating mnemonic memory circuits, etc. But it's always fun to get together with my brother and sister and their families for a good old-fashioned reunion. And that's what we did this weekend.

I won't bore you with the details, but there was excellent food, spontaneous music, and the usual good-natured ribbing. (My brother-in-law Mike is the easiest to make fun of, since he's a blockhead who thinks that K-State is a legitimate school. Can you imagine? Geez.)

And if hanging out with fossils (ie, people my own age) wasn't enough, it happens that I'm going to visit the dinosauriest part of Colorado this weekend. I'm doing the Desert's Edge Triathlon, which is near the Colorado Monument and not that far from the Dinosaur Monument. There's even a dinosaur museum in Fruita that might end up on the agenda. So if I learn anything new about our big-headed predecessors atop the food chain, I will be happy to share it with you.

As for the race, well...I am expecting a much improved run over what I did last year. The swim and bike portions will probably be similar (or a bit slower), but I do expect to set a PR for the Olympic distance. Of course, it will partly depend on the weather, and partly on whether my shoulder holds up. But I'm excited to do the race, and to have fun on a mini-vacation.

I will share the results upon my return. Have a great weekend!