Mexico, Part 4: Chichen Itza concluded

Sports arenas are found within the remains of many of the ancient Mayan cities. These arenas are adorned with wall carvings that have prompted historians to infer that spectators sat up on top of the stone structure to watch competition between two teams that took place on the field in the open space between walls. According to our tour guides, the prevailing theory is that points were scored when a player used his hip to propel a heavy (4 kg) ball through a stone orifice. Throwing and kicking were apparently against the rules.



Seriously, they used their hips? I find myself somewhat skeptical.

First of all, a 4 kg ball is heavy, and unlikely to bounce easily. Second, those target rings are 5 or 6 meters off the ground. Third, the present-day Mayans are generally quite diminutive; we Americans tend to tower over them, making me suspect that their ability to propel projectiles higher than we could is unlikely. And finally, I doubt that today's finest athletes would have trouble hip-slapping anything through one of those rings, no matter how long they practiced to do it. The whole thing seems implausible.

On the other hand, the same cultures do enjoy watching guys kick a soccer ball around for an hour while rarely scoring a goal -- so perhaps an impossible game that resulted in zero points was considered to be highly entertaining.

But here's the other consideration: The carvings include images of proud uniformed competitors carrying a severed head, in what has been assumed to represent a part of the victory ceremony. Our guides said that there is an ongoing academic debate about whether the disembodied head belonged to the loser...or to the victor. It seems natural to assume that the winner would remain intact as a perquisite of triumph. But because there is some evidence that ritual sacrifice was part of the culture, some of the eggheads think that the winning team's captain was beheaded as a reward for being awesome.

OK. Whatever. But here's my theory; the stone structure wasn't a sports arena at all, but a theater. And the whole "hip-thrusting the ball through the donut" thing was done with the pre-celluloid equivalent of special effects. The carvings of decapitated dudes are their version of our movie posters that show Arnold Schwarzenegger with half his face exposing a chrome skeleton.



Anyway, I guess I'll summarize my discussion of Chichen Itza by saying the buildings were really cool, the tour was fascinating, and the experience was delightful (despite the annoying crap peddlers.)

From there, we took the bus over to one of the local cenotes. These are basically limestone cave formations with fresh water (and fish) in them. There are some that are actually underground, but most of the tourist-accessible cenotes are better described as limestone sinkholes. The one we went to had viewing platforms built into the wall, and was gorgeous.







We swam around and looked at the fishes for quite a while. I even did a couple of watermelons off the dock platform, which probably made the fish wonder why their cousins in US caves get to swim in peace.

At least they did ask us to shower off our sunscreen before polluting the cenote. I have no idea how deep this particular hole was, but the bottom was not visible.

I would definitely recommend the entire experience. That concludes my discussion of our first tour. The next post will cover the subsequent tour to Tulum, Coba, and another cenote! See you then!

Mexico, Part 3: More Chichen Itza

Each tour guide emphasized that the Mayans did NOT become extinct, and that both the people and the culture are still alive across the Yucatan and beyond. They just don't build pyramids anymore.

Archaeologists have concluded that there was a major drought that drove the Mayans out of the cities and into the jungles -- away from major population centers and into smaller sustainable communities. They are said to have simply abandoned the areas we now think of as monuments, not because of Spanish conquerors, but because there was more fresh water elsewhere.

The Spaniards are given credit for being major militaristic jerkwads, and for a serious commitment to a series of misguided mythological quests such as the search for golden cities, fountains of youth, and the forcible mass dissemination of the idiotic sport of soccer.

They never found the golden cities or botox ponds and whatnot, but the Spanish missionaries were 100% successful in spreading their language and religion throughout the country. They also managed to destroy nearly all of the "heretical" historical documents of the Mayan culture...so almost all of the current "knowledge" of their ancient civilization has been derived through handed-down legends and interpretive analysis of the carvings found among the ancient cities.

[Disclaimer: Statements made within this blog represent the author's best recollection and interpretation of information gathered during commercial tours in a foreign country where it was really hot, Dr. Pepper was scarce, and potable water was available only in bottled form. Ergo, such statements may or may not be verifiable through any sort of scientific or academic resources.]

There is no doubt that the Mayans made some pretty cool stone structures. Our tour guides did not mention anything about alien technologies, but the efforts put forth in construction were certainly not trivial. Nor were they dull. Hieroglyphics abound, and apparently provide the eggheads all sorts of fuel for speculation about what life was like over 1000 years ago.



The three most common icons were snakes (often with feathers, for some reason), jaguars, and human skulls. Lots and lots of skulls. And many of the skull carvings showed elongated craniums that had led earlier theorists to postulate an alien influence. According to our guides, though, the Mayans thought that long skulls were beautiful, so they encased childrens' maleable heads in clamp fixtures to squish them into the proper aesthetic pointiness.

It sounds pretty weird, but perhaps not so much when you consider that our country went through a Magnum P.I. mustache phase. It's pretty much the same thing. (Click to embiggen for detail.)



Anyway, we'll come back to the skulls later. For now, I just wanted to point out that the lizards that were all over the place apparently weren't cool enough to merit enstonification. I'm guessing they are the Mexican version of prairie dogs.) But I took pictures...



Unfortunately, this whole "looking for a job" thing is seriously interfering with my ability to finish my vacation chronicle. We'll have to continue again later. Next up: Sports in ancient Mexico! And swimming with the fishes! Fun stuff, for sure. See you then; have a great day!

Mexico, Part 2: Chichen Itza

Some people enjoy the Yucatan because of its balmy temperatures, clear blue water, and the opportunity to relax with umbrella drinks on a glistening beach. But for me, greater appeal lies in exploring the ancient monuments and unfamiliar geography. I was excited to embark on our first tour -- a day-long tour of Chichen Itza, a stop in Valladolid, and the chance to swim in a beautiful cenote.

A tour van picked us up at the hotel and transported us to a local market, where we were to check in for the tour and then board the big bus that would take us out into the jungle. The store itself was interesting; it reminded me of the kitsch-filled souvenir shops you find in mountain towns...only everything was priced in both US dollars and pesos. And yes, they had mariachi sombreros.



Before we boarded the bus, they took our photo in front of a green screen, and then edited in the pyramid in the background. I like the real photo (above) better. What do you think?

The bus was comfortable. The scenery along the road was mostly jungle, which we were told was mostly unfit for farming because the ground was consistently rocky. Because of the rainfall, all sorts of trees and bushes could grow there...but there was no way to plow the land for any sort of mass cultivation. The trees weren't huge, but there was plenty of variety and density. You'd be lost if you got 10 feet away from the road -- but you couldn't even get that far without a machete. According to one of our guides, there were various monkeys out there, but I never saw any.

The first place we stopped was a village called Valladolid, which we were told contained good examples of the architecture common to the towns colonized by the Spanish. We did a brief tour of a cathedral that was probably once very impressive, but now seemed rather shabby and indicative of the poverty throughout the region. Along with the lack of farmable land, there is also a lack of industry; soliciting money from tourists seems to be the primary source of revenue for most of the local inhabitants. The cathedral was ripe with people selling hats, scarves, and jewelry...and there were also those who were simply begging.

This phenomenon was ubiquitous. Even within the Chichen Itza park, the vendors were at times more prominent than the gigantic stone monuments. Every pathway was lined with folks selling trinkets, clothing, jewelry, and unauthorized NFL merchandise.

Seriously, there were Mayan totem carvings with Pittsburgh Steelers and KC Chiefs logos on them. I'm sorry, but that's just wrong.



But the stone edifices were impressive indeed. And the information the tours guides shared was fascinating. The lecture began in the gigantic carving-adorned sports arena where the ancient Mayans reportedly played something akin to Rollerball.





Unfortunately, I have run out of time for today's post, so we'll continue this discussion in the next installment. Will there be tales of eerie acoustical phenomena and ritual decapitation? Perhaps...you'll have to come back to find out. In the meantime, have a great day!

Mexico! (Part 1)

I have to admit that my grasp of both Mayan history and Spanish grammar had deteriorated in the decades since the University of Kansas released me into the world as a supposedly eduficated adult. But a week in the Yucatan worked wonders in restoring me to my former "not fully ignorant" state. It was also fun, relaxing, and delightfully free of Montezuma's Revenge! Yea!

The next few blog posts contain a verbal and photographic chronicle of my recent journey to Mexico, along with my personal thoughts and observations regarding beaches, ancient civilizations, and the peculiarities of international travel. I would urge you to click on the photos for embiggenation—so you can see the details of Mexican architecture, coastal scenery, fish under the sea, and other aspects of the total tourist experience.

Before we begin, I want to acknowledge the wonderful job Claire did in researching and organizing the entire vacation. With her delightful company, savvy travel management, and excellent skills as translator, I was free to concentrate on simply enjoying the experience. And that I did. Thanks, Claire!

Travel to Cancun

We left Denver as the snow began to fall, but we left our coats in the car because we wouldn't need them in Mexico. I had my newly-procured passport in hand, and was a bit nervous. (The only other time I'd been out of the country in the past 4 decades was unintentional and a bit unnerving, which is covered elsewhere.)

Fortunately, the process of getting through Customs in Cancun was relatively painless, and we were both passed through with only a cursory glance from the folks who thumped their stampers onto our passports. None of this process gave me any additional confidence that safety and security were enhanced beyond letting people pass through unscrutinized, but I suppose it's good to provide jobs to people who have no skills beyond stamp thumping.

Anyway, the Costco Travel bus sign was easily visible as we exited the airport (pointedly ignoring the hordes of timeshare salespeople who scuttled like roaches from the woodwork), and the trip to the hotel went smoothly. We had selected a hotel at the far north end of town (right next to the Punta Sam ferry dock, if you want to look it up), precisely because it was separated from the main hotel zone. The hotel complex was aesthetically spectacular!



The Hotel

As part of the check-in process at Villa del Palmar, we were offered the opportunity to receive a "VIP" card, which entitled us to discounts on meals, tours, and even groceries. All we had to do to receive this bounty was to agree to attend a timeshare presentation at the hotel. We quickly calculated that it would be easily be worth more than $100 and would only take 90 minutes, we agreed. After all -- I had no job, so it would be easy to say "NO." We scheduled our sales pitch for Saturday morning.

Our snorkeling excursion to Cozumel was scheduled for Friday morning, so we were up early and out in front of the hotel before 7am. It was a lovely day, and a gorgeous location to await the shuttle.



Each taxi, minivan, and bus had to check with the security guard at the gate, apparently so the hotel could track which guests were being swept away for offsite adventures. A dozen vehicles came and went, but the Cancun Scuba bus was not among them. Claire went back inside to make some phone calls, and eventually learned that the tour group had misinterpreted the words printed on our reservation. Apparently, they thought that "pick up at hotel" meant "paid customers must walk 10 miles to the scuba facility". Hmm.

At that point, it was too late to make the trip that day, so we rescheduled for Tuesday, receiving assurances that they would indeed pick us up at the hotel on that day. But now we suddenly had a free day. What should we do with this bonus time?

Timeshare presentation, perhaps? Oh, YES! What a delightful idea!

I'd like to point out that the hotel staff was consistently friendly, attentive, and helpful. When they found out we'd been stood up by the snorkeling folks, they were quick to offer alternatives, and it really did make sense for us to get the timeshare thing out of the way. And Tony, our "membership" salesperson, did an excellent job with his pitch, and grasped our commitment to a firm "No" with reasonable quickness. But during the pitch, we were treated to an excellent breakfast buffet and a grand tour of the fancy rooms available for vacations of the future. The view from the penthouse suite was impressive, indeed. The Caribbean is gorgeous.



Once released from the sales program, we took our VIP card over to the travel store, where Claire used our discounts to set up tours to Chichen Itza and Tulum/Coba. After that, we spent the rest of the day reading on the beach, sitting in the hot tubs, and swimming in the pools. This was also our chance for stand-up paddleboarding and cruising in the 2-person ocean kayak.





As the sun set, we had dinner at the hotel's Italian restaurant (discounted via the VIP card, of course), and it was quite good. Despite swapping a snorkel adventure for a sales pitcth, it was a delightful day! We tried to get to sleep early to prepare us for Saturday's excursion into the jungle.

The next post will include photos from Mayan ruins and swimming in cenotes. If you're ready to hear tales of ancient construction marvels, human sacrifice, and in-your-face marketing techniques, please join us then. In the meantime, have a great day!

Happy New Year!

2016 is here...and I'm not sure I'm entirely ready for it.

I had good intentions about blogging over the holiday break, but I didn't really get a break. Between a trip to Wichita and time spent with my favorite people, I managed to fill every moment with frenzied activity. Most of it was full of holiday cheer and bubbly, carol-soaked noggery, and it zipped by like a japanese bullet train on HGH.

Ergo, my planned actor-based quiz extravaganza hasn't happened yet. But it IS coming, my friends, and you can expect to be challenged and charmed by this journey into obscure movie trivia.

Um, yes, I do realize that very few readers are the least bit interested in whether Paul Carr looks like the dude that flew a jet in "Tomorrow is Yesterday" -- but it amuses me to explore such questions. Just not right now. I have other things going on.

The biggest news is that I have recently become unemployed, though circumstances not of my own choosing. On one hand, this should mean that I would have no excuse not to do more writing. But on the other, I suppose I really ought to spend my time pursuing activities that will help me pay the rent.

And yes, I do realize that there are ways to secure one's financial future that don't rely on ping pong balls spat from a rotating drum. But most of those involve effort...which is not really my thing.

So, in addition to featuring trivia quizzes based on the faces of old actors, this blog will soon be featuring a detailed description of the challenges one faces in navigating the government's baffling unemployment labyrinth. There might also be a few photos of groovy places I've visited, descriptions of fun workouts, and the standard unstructured political ranting. It'll be a hoot, I promise. Please come back and join us when this feature resumes its regular pace after one more week of hiatus.

Thank you for your infinite patience. I apologize for the long break...but good times are ahead. Should be fun! In the meantime, have a great week!