Pleasant Surprises

Happy Halloween!

Hmm. Why don't parents name their little boys "Linus" anymore? Or for that matter, "Schroeder"?

I don't suppose it matters. I'd imagine that the next generation will include thousands and thousands of youngsters named "Barack" and/or "Mitt." Or perhaps "P. Diddy" or "Ochocinco". I'm sure our futures are in good hands.

In the meantime, I just wanted to report a couple of things that pleased me today. We'll take them in chronological order:

I had a pretty good run this morning. Well...not "good" in the sense of "running fast" or "being mistaken for Paavo Nurmi" or anything. But good in that I went to bed feeling extremely sore and stiff from running at Red Rocks on Sunday and was expecting to wake up incapable of putting one foot in front of the other, but ended up cranking out a decent 3.5-mile run and feeling good at the end. Thanks to the inspiration from my buddy Rich, I started off at a pretty good pace, and then loosened up to hold it throughout the distance. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was "fun"...but when you're expecting pain, and instead experience a reasonably smooth stride, well, it is somewhat of a treat.

Second, the people on the swim team all worked pretty hard this morning. I probably shouldn't categorize that as a "surprise", really, since they usually do work pretty hard. But it was still fun for me to stand on the deck and watch the intensity level in the pool remain high throughout the practice. Oh sure, there were still a few gawd-awful turns, some lane etiquette anomalies, and a whole lot more breathing inside the flags than I'd like to see. But overall, it was a nice effort across the board. I hope I can absorb some of that enthusiasm and energy for when I start swimming again.

And that's the third pleasant revelation of my morning: I think my ear is actually healing better than I thought. I was looking at the raw-looking red splotch and interpreting it as "open wound", but upon closer inspection this morning, I learned that much of that red area is actually just bright new skin. In other words, what I thought was a large unhealed area may actually be in pretty good shape, and nearly ready to handle submersion. It's still going to look red and angry for a while, but as long as the wound is totally closed up, who cares about its appearance? Right?

I'll do a thorough exam on Saturday and might possibly be ready to jump in the pool on Sunday. I won't risk it unless I'm certain it's completely healed over...but I'm cautiously optimistic at this point. That gets me excited!

At the moment, though, my "Halloween costume" continues to include a bunch of tape and gauze on the side of my head. How about you? Did you dress up for work today? Are you attending a costume party tonight? Are you going to pull out your VHS tapes of "Thriller" and do the zombie dance in your living room?

Whatever you do, I hope that everyone has a safe and enjoyable Halloween, and gets their fill of candy and other goodies. (If you do wind up with leftover Mr. Goodbars or 3 Musketeers and are looking to dispose of them, give me a call; I might be able to find a good home for them. Heath bars and dum-dum suckers, though, you can just toss.)

Have a great day!

Steps

I should know better.

I haven't run stairs at Red Rocks in several months. I'm not sure why I got out of the habit, but I just haven't made it up there recently. So when Kim Clemens talked me into running up there on Sunday, I should've known to take it easy.

But no. I felt good...so I worked hard. And there is definitely a price to pay. So, if you see me doing a zombie walk in the next few days, it's not some Halloween mime art thing; it's that my calves hurt from all the climbing.

It was fun, though, and was probably the highlight of my weekend.

The bad news is that I wasn't able to make it down to Colorado Springs to watch the USA Nationals Competition for the Modern Pentathlon. I'm totally bummed that I missed it -- My friend Sammy Achterberg won her first National Championship, and it would've been a blast to see her kick butt. She had a great overall performance, but completely blew everyone away in the run/shoot portion of the event. I wish I could take credit for coaching her to her outstanding swim as well, but I'm afraid that she deserves all the credit herself. All of her teammates on Foothills Masters are incredibly proud of Sammy, and are looking forward to hearing her tales of triumph when she returns to our pool.

Mostly I want to ask her what she's holding in that podium picture. Could it be a light saber? (I know they use lasers for the pistol shooting technology, but I had no idea that the fencing might be performed with Jedi weaponry. Cool.)

As for the rest of the weekend, [Insert standard rants about weekend time compression, failure to generate significant accomplishments, and frustration over medical conditions that prevent swimming pool immersion here.]

So, what about our Halloween puzzles? Judging from the number of correct responses, I'd have to conclude that they were too easy. Oh well, I suppose there's nothing wrong with throwing out a "gimme" here and there.

The first one featured the critter famed for bringing bad luck and for hanging out with witches: the Cat.



Panel 1 features Henry Fonda's daughter in her move role as "Cat Ballou." It's a fun movie...notable for Lee Marvin's hilarious performance as a drunken gunslinger, as well as for having Dwayne Hickman (aka Dobie Gillis) attempt to appear romantic and charming. But I remember it most because it's the first time I was exposed to Nat King Cole, who performs the musical scene-switching numbers along with Stubby Kaye. This began my long-term appreciation for Cole's music and artistry, which has never subsided.

The second panel shows the demented face of Bobcat Goldthwait, in his role as a crazy hoodlum who becomes a cop in the Police Academy series. Unfortunately, this performance did NOT result in me becoming a lifelong fan of Mr. Goldthwait (though I did appreciate the acting skills displayed by Bubba Smith.)

Panel 3 is Scatman Crothers, shown in his ill-fated role as the handyman in "The Shining." I didn't much like that movie, but the one moment of enjoyment it brought was when I thought Scatman had a chance to take care of stupid Jack Nicholson. Alas, he met up with an axe instead. Darn it.

It's hard to tell who is in the outlandish outfit in the next panel, but if you've seen the movie "Big Trouble in Little China", you probably wouldn't forget the headgear. It's Kim Cattrall, all dressed up to marry an evil magical Chinaman, if not for the bravery and reflexes of the amazing Jack Burton (Kurt Russell.) This is my all-time favorite movie in the "truck drivers vs. quasi-immortal kung fu sorcerers" genre. I highly recommend it.

And finally, we have singer Eartha Kitt in her role as Catwoman on the classic Batman TV show. I was partial to Julie Newmar, myself, but both Kitt and Lee Meriwether were also good in playing Batman's sexy feline nemesis. (You may also remember Ms. Kitt as Madame Zeroni in "Holes.") As for Halle Berry and Michelle Pfeiffer playing the part -- meh.



Along with witches, black cats, and pumpkins, Halloween decor would not be complete without an abundance of spiders and their tailspun traps. Hence, the solution to this puzzle is the Web.

The first panel is golfer Webb Simpson. Sorry, but I don't know much about him, since golf is not one of the skills I'll ever be likely to master. (In college, though, I did beat Tom Sheftel in a round of golf that had a Texas Tom's Giant Tenderloin sandwich riding as the betting stakes. I scored 104 on 9 holes, and I believe Tom shot 108. But if we'd have counted all the strokes he took where he completely missed the ball, I'm sure his score would've been nearly 200. And yes, it WAS a good sandwich. Mmmm.)

Frame two is former Denver Mayor, Wellington Webb. I have never had any desire to be a mayor, nor to play basketball, as is featured in panel 3. That is Spud Webb, who I think is still the shortest NBA player to win a dunking competition. I have no earthly idea how he was able to fly so incredibly high. Perhaps we should send Sgt. Friday (Jack Webb) to investigate this seeming fraud.

And our final puzzle consists of the elements needed for all those scary Halloween skeletons: Bones.



The fellow with the mustache is Tom "Bones" Malone, slide trombone player for the Blues Brothers Band. The far less pleasant-looking fellow to his right is Macho Man Randy Savage playing the part of Bonesaw McGraw in the movie "Spiderman." (And yes, there's our extra credit connection: Spiderman, Spiders, Webs...get it?) And next to Bonesaw is Emily Deschanel, who plays the socially maladjusted forensic pathologist in the TV Series "Bones" (which is also her character's nickname.) She's the big sister of Zooey Deschanel, who currently has a series called "The New Girl." (The only reason I mention Zooey is that I think she's cute.)

And finally, the most obvious member of the puzzle: DeForest Kelley as Leonard "Bones" McCoy, ship's surgeon for the Star Ship Enterprise, and good friend of Capt. James T. Kirk. And of course, there is a Halloween episode of Star Trek, wherein Kirk and company encounter sinister black cats, ominous webs, and assorted other scary symbology. The episode is somewhat unusual, in that the solution is not for Kirk to talk a computer into destroying itself, but instead hinges on his verbal skills in persuading the bad guy to help him. I haven't done an exact count, but I don't think there are too many episodes where Kirk's eloquence with non-automated entities pays off in victory. (You could argue that it was his silver tongue that persuaded the Gamesters of Triskelion to wager the ship in the battle with the thralls...but it was still good old-fashioned fisticuffs that actually won the day.)

Anyway, thanks for playing. I hope the mental abilities you showed in solving these puzzles will allow you to come up with excellent costumes and procure abundant candy during your trick-or-treating adventures. Have an excellent Halloween, my friends!

Halloween

It was a beautiful morning for running.

The sidewalks were dry, but the ground and trees were still covered with bright white snow, and the low cloud cover meant that the glow from the city lights was reflected across the landscape in a way that almost made the night seem to shine. It was cold -- mid 20s -- and there was a bit of a biting wind, but I wore enough layers to where I was actually a little too warm toward the end of my run.

I know that most of you think I'm a bit odd for running so early in the morning. After all, I need to finish by 5:20am so I can shower and get onto the pool deck in time to coach swim practice at 5:30. If you do the math and calculate when I have to wake up in order to eat breakfast, pack a lunch and work clothes, as well as performing all the standard morning hygiene activities, you can see that I need to get to bed pretty early if I want adequate sleep. The good news is that I don't like staying up late at night anyway, so I rather enjoy this unorthodox schedule.

Of course, it may partially explain why I don't have a girlfriend...but that's a topic for another discussion. Anyway, the point is that I think that finishing my runs a couple of hours before sunrise seems to work best for me. But I can't begin to tell you how much I miss being able to swim. As of this morning's inspection, I'd guess that I have at least another week before my ear will be healed over enough. Bummer.

I am enjoying coaching from the deck, though. It provides a different perspective. Some of the differences are easy to guess; it's easier to notice who's cheating on sendoff intervals, and who is being lazy on their turns. But I also can tell who is actually watching the clock vs. who is just pretending to, and which lanes need reminders about lane etiquette. I also really enjoy the fact that it's obvious that many of the people on the team have truly become good friends and are enormously supportive of each other. I may not have anything to do with that, but it makes me proud to be their coach in any case.

Anyway, because it is late at night as I write this, I'm going to keep it short so I can get to bed in time to allow me to exercise before sunrise tomorrow. I'll leave you with some Halloween-themed graphical quizzes. As always, you can click on the pictures to enlarge the photos.

The challenge is to figure out the key word in each row, and how that word relates to Halloween. Some of the individual photos have other relationships to scary things, and I'll point those out when the solutions are revealed. You get extra credit if you can pick out which one of the photos in the last puzzle has a relationship to the entire theme of the second puzzle.







Have fun, good luck, and have a great weekend!

Snow

No, "The Hunt For Red October" is NOT the baseball movie I mentioned in yesterday's puzzle clue.

(If you haven't yet looked at the puzzle, scroll down to yesterday's blog and try your luck before returning here for the solution.)

Yes, I do admit that October is a noted baseball month, and that "Mr. October" (aka the guy who tries to assassinate the Queen in "The Naked Gun") looks a bit like the person described by the puzzle, and that the "Reds" are indeed a baseball team, and that the thespian in question does appear in that movie, however -- it is NOT one of the movies to which I referred. But I'll come back to that shortly.

First, let me note my delight with Mother Nature's nighttime handiwork. When I awoke this morning, the world was shiny and crisp, with all the local trees beautifully adorned with fresh fluffy powder. It was one of those snowfalls that never reaches "storm" status, and leaves behind passable roads and lovely scenery. It's a bit cold outside, and my body hasn't quite made the seasonal adjustment yet, but otherwise I'm enjoying the postcard views that line the lanes of Littleton this fine morning.

Every year about this time, it seems I go into a rant about how we've been gypped out of our full Autumn -- because the weather typically goes from Jimmy Buffet swelter to Edmund Hillary meatlocker...pretty much overnight. But this year, we have had an honest-to-goodness recognizable Fall season. It has cooled gradually, the leaves have taken their time in fluttering to the ground, and the humans have had a chance to engage in post-summer outdoor activities in seasonal comfort. It's been utterly grand, and I just wanted to acknowledge that little fact.

Ergo, even though it snowed last night, I shall eschew any criticism of Mother Nature. I'm quite happy with the weather, thank you very much.

I just wish I could swim. Stupid 1970s UV rays.

If I could go back in time, I'd warn myself to cut out all the sunbathing. (And to buy Microsoft and Apple stock, and to ask out Nancy Gartung...but those activities aren't pertinent to our weather discussion.)

Anyway, this picture provides one more clue* to think about before I reveal the answer to the puzzle. Got it now?

The baseball movies from the hint are "The Sandlot" and "Field of Dreams". That should clinch it, right?

Yep. You got it. The answer is James Earl Jones.

Extra, extra credit if you can draw the other connections between "Field of Dreams" and the life of this blog's author. We'll discuss those links shortly. But first, the puzzle.



Frame one contains LeBron James. Frame two is Earl "The Pearl" Monroe. The last group is a collection of Joans. Obviously.

I don't know (or care) anything about basketball, but apparently the first two guys are considered to be fairly talented. (I'm not sure how many little boys grow up wanting to be nicknamed "Pearl", but that's a different question.) As for the ladies, well, they are all people whose work I have enjoyed.

Leftmost among the ladies is Joan Collins, in her role as Edith Keeler from the classic Star Trek episode "City on the Edge of Forever". Written by sci-fi legend Harlan Ellison, this is my favorite episode, artfully combining philosophy, humor, and heart-wrenching drama into one of television's all-time most thought-provoking hours. I still can't even think about Captain Kirk grabbing McCoy in the street without feeling the tears coming to my eyes. Non-Trekkies think I'm joking when I say that, but no. That is one powerful scene.

As for the rest of Joan Collins' career? Meh.

To her right is Joan of Arc, of whose penchant for violence Edith Keeler would definitely not approve. This photo is from "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure", moments before the intrepid teens show up to snatch the lovely Miss of Arc away to San Dimas. (At some point, I think I'll blog about people whose names include regular words, like Pitt the Elder, William the Conqueror, Refrigerator Perry, etc.)

Joan Cusack is next, shown here in her role as the neckbrace-wearing geek chick from "Sixteen Candles". She's good in most of her roles, including noteworthy performances in "School of Rock" and "In and Out". And finally, we have rocker babe Joan Jett, who is most famous for this song.

Oh, and I almost forgot about the "Field of Dreams" connection to yours truly. Well, it's pretty straightforward: The James Earl Jones character is named Terence, and so am I (even though I spell it correctly and he doesn't.) And the brother-in-law dude is played by Timothy Busfield, who was in "Revenge of the Nerds", which is pretty much a documentary about my college days (well, except for the "revenge" part.)

And that, my friends, is it for today. I hope you can get outside to enjoy the latest meteorologically-provided aesthetics. Have a great day!

*FYI, the fellow in the Darth Vader costume is NOT James Earl Jones. He is David Prowse, the bodybuilder who wore the costume and portrayed the Sith Lord throughout the series. Mr. Jones provided the voice, and I think the world is a better place because of it.

Stitches Out!

The good news is that I'm no longer dependent on surgical thread to hold my ear skin in place.

The bad news is that it hasn't quite healed enough for swimming. I am completely bummed out about this, because I was really looking forward to getting back in the pool. Oh well, at least the healing process is proceeding as the doctor expected. It's unfortunate that I've been unable to will myself to heal faster than normal humans. I had assumed I'd be able to.

The fact that the healing is not quite complete means that I also must continue to walk around with bandages affixed to my otherwise flawless head. Whether this is good or bad is not for me to judge; I'm not required to look at myself very often. But of course, it does mean that I'll continue to face the challenges presented by poor eyesight and bad mirror-image hand-eye coordination in applying new dressings to the wound. This photo represents the work of a professional nurse; my bandage applications tend to be somewhat less harmonious.

As of this morning, it appears that the swim team remains divided down the middle in their opinion toward having me as a deck coach. Half of them like the fact that I'm easier to hear, can pay more attention to each swimmer, and am more likely to suggest sets that contain butterfly (since I presently don't have to perform the stroke myself.) The other half of the group has expressed their annoyance with my "infernal crabbiness" (which is another way of saying that they don't appreciate being held accountable for legal strokes and appropriate lane etiquette.) I would never accuse any of the Foothills Masters swimmers of being slackers and/or cheaters, but I must confess that there are times when I feel myself channeling my inner Strickland.

Does this mean that I'll be able to remain committed to my running program, since I can't yet engage in aquatic exercise? Perhaps. But on the other hand, it is supposed to snow tonight, and I'm not certain I've made the mental transition to cold-weather athletics yet. We'll see.

In the meantime, here's a simple puzzle for you. This graphic represents a well-known actor whose talents have been critical to the success of some of the world's most popular movies. Who is this mystery performer? (World Series Hint: This person has appeared in at least a couple of well-known baseball movies, too. Extra credit if you can name those films.)



Good luck, and have a great day!

Building a Base

The good news is that my ear is healing up. The bad news is that it's not going to be all that pretty when the bandages come off. The other good news is that most people don't really spend a lot of time assessing the smoothness and aesthetic quality of the skin or your upper ear, so I'll still probably be allowed to roam the streets without an elephant man bag over my head.

Still, it's been a pain dealing with the bandages, and a literal pain to do the required scrubbing of the area every day. On a scale of 1 to 10, it's probably only a 3...but I'm a wimp, and don't want to deal with even the most minimal of discomforts. Despite my fragility, though, I have somehow managed to keep the area clean and covered...and the healing process continues.

On the day of the surgery, the doctor offered to write a prescription for antibiotics to prevent infection. I said I didn't really want to use any, unless he absolutely thought it necessary, and he didn't push the point. So I went the first week without taking any pills. At the first checkup, everything looked good and there were no signs of infection, but the doctor seemed puzzled that I wasn't on any drugs. This time, he said I really ought to consider taking some preventive antibiotics, and he wrote me a prescription.

I couldn't read his handwriting, of course. There's some sort of shorthand chicken-scratch code that's taught to physicians and pharmacy students so that the little slips of paper the doc hands you remain inscrutable to the normal human eyeball. But the typed label on the bottle I picked up at King Soopers said "antibiotic" and "two pills for seven days", which seemed about right. As soon as I got home, I popped the first pill into my mouth. Then I started reading the little flyer that came with the medicine.

Turns out the guy prescribed something known as a fluoroquinolone, which carries all sorts of dire warnings about side effects. Normally, I don't worry too much about such warnings; they usually caution about upset stomachs, tiredness, or headache problems that only happen to couch potatoes. I have a solid gut and generally get adequate sleep, etc, and my swimming fitness usually gives me confidence that I'll be one of the folks who has no problems. But this stuff came with an entire page of tiny print text warning of the high risk of tendinitis and tendon rupture -- especially for people over 60, or people who exercise. Well, I'm not 60 yet, but am closing in on it...and my tendons are already under suspicion as accessories in my body's horrible crimes against running form. This warning scared me badly, especially knowing that I had already taken the pill and was scheduled for an 8-mile run on Saturday morning.

Why would the doctor prescribe something this dangerous to a guy who comes pretty close to the designated disaster demographic? Especially when the healing process seems to be proceeding without a hitch? Is he getting a kickback? Does he just hate me because I'm such a smart and handsome swim coach, and he's a mere physician? Or is this part of the Obamacare conspiracy to cripple all the true patriots so that the Muslims can walk in and take over when all the athletes are hobbling around on crutches?

I dunno. But I can tell you that I'm not taking any more of those pills (unless my ear starts to turn red and hot and swollen.)

The good news is that all my runner friends seem to be telling me that I need to do more "base building", which means that I should run slower and try to gradually increase the distance. "Don't worry about your pace," they said, "just concentrate on being smooth and holding your form." Another way of saying that (at least in the way I'm interpreting it) is "It's OK to be a lazy loafer." As a coach, I expect high performance and extreme effort from the athletes all the time...but in my own training, well, goofing off is standard procedure. So, I figured I'd still do my 8-mile run, but would slow down, pay close attention to any warning signs from tendon areas, and see if I couldn't implement the advice I had received.

Long story short: I have now run pretty decent distances (for me, anyway) several days in a row. I ran 9 on Saturday and more than 5 on Sunday. Both training runs felt OK, and there were no detectable adverse effects from the medicine. I was slow...OK, molasses in January slow, but there will be plenty of days for tempo work later in the season. My goal is to run around 20 miles this week, and then slowly ramp it up from there until I have achieved this mythical "base" my studly friends keep talking about. Of course, I hope to be back in the water for swimming sometime toward the end of the week, too...but I don't intend to let that keep me from continuing to hoof out the miles. The dangerous antibiotics should be out of my system by now, so I should be OK to keep it up, right?

We'll see. I should get my ear stitches out on Wednesday, and may even receive permission to get in the pool again. Wish me luck, and have a great day!

Too Much LDS in the 60s

Does anyone know where the title for this post came from? It's one of my favorite movie lines, along with Arnold's proclamation about dressing up as a composer on Halloween ("I'll be Bach"), and Clint Eastwood's famous breakfast order ("Go ahead, make my danish.)"

Anyway, it's from Star Trek IV: Save the Whales, and it serves as a wonderful excuse for regrettable behavior. Of course, it's only valid for people who were alive in the 60s (which I was), and is only believable if the person in question has any hippie credibility (which I, unfortunately, do not.) Still, I'm sticking with it as an excuse for the error I made in yesterday's puzzle. I shall elaborate below, but first, let's take a moment to enjoy some Kirk-endorsed environmental activism.



As many of you did accurately discern, the answer is "Fictional Siblings." Each pair shows two actors who were cast as family members on TV or in the movies. I chose these particular pairs because there were photos available where they weren't in the costuming that would give away the sibling pairing.

For example, the hairy-handed gent on the first row is Michael J. Fox in his role as "Teen Wolf." To his right is Marc McClure in his role as Jimmy Olsen in the first Christopher Reeve "Superman" movie. McClure was Marty McFly's older brother, whose photographed head disappears as time unravels in "Back to the Future."

Below the McFlys are the Cranes, Frazier and Niles. Kelsey Grammer is to the left in his brief visit to the Star Trek universe, and the blue fish-dude to his right is from the movie "Hellboy." David Hyde Pierce (Niles) isn't actually under the fish-dude makeup, but he did provide the voice for the character, which is close enough.

The next line contains Cartwrights: Little Joe and Adam, from "Bonanza." Michael Landon (Joe) was also the star of the movie "I Was a Teenage Werewolf", which was pretty much like "Teen Wolf", only without any basketball. Pernell Roberts (Adam) went on to play Trapper John, MD, on a TV series of the same name.

And actually, there's a Cartwright on the next line as well. The blond to the left is Nancy Cartwright, who does the voice of Bart Simpson. Beside her is Yearley Smith, who voices his sister Lisa. [Note to self: Write a rant about why nobody names their kids "Yeardley" anymore.]

The guy with the regrettable forehead is Brian Bonsall, who played Alex P. Keaton's little brother on "Family Ties". Next to him (in the coast guard vest), is Alex P. Keaton himself, aka the aforementioned Michael J. Fox.

And now it's time for my apology. The next row was supposed to be the duplicate (Niles and Frazier Crane again), but my defective brain made an erroneous connection. I knew that David Hyde Pierce had been featured on "Family Guy", and when I Googled those terms, I saw the photo of "grown-up Stewie", and thought I remembered that Hyde Pierce had done the voice of the character. If I had seen the episode recently, I would've remembered that Seth McFarlane did both versions of Stewie...and that the gossip about Hyde Pierce providing Stewie's voice was a baseless rumor started by McFarlane himself. I actually knew that, but in my hurry to grab compelling artwork, I let enthusiasm substitute for intellectual diligence. (Hmmm...didn't I recently hear that line coming from the White House? Um, no, I guess not.)

Anyway, the row with grown-up Stewie and Sideshow Bob (Grammer again) should be ignored. Sorry.

But speaking of the 60s, isn't everyone glad I included one of the Von Trapp children? This is Angela Cartwright (another Cartwright???) in her role as Brigitta -- just a few years before she was marooned with the Space Family Robinson (and Dr. Smith) aboard the Jupiter II on "Lost in Space." The fellow next to her is the dude who played her brother, Will Robinson: Billy Mumy, shown here in his role as Lennier on Babylon 5.

And on the final row, we have Seth Green and Mila Kunis, who play siblings Chris and Meg Griffin on "Family Guy." Seth is shown in his role as Scotty Evil from the Austin Powers series, and Mila is shown in a publicity shot that rather emphatically demonstrates that she really isn't much like Meg Griffin in real life.

So, as always, thanks for playing. I promise I will try to avoid drug-induced mistakes in the future. But that reminds me: My visit to the dermatologist did not result in the anticipated suture removal. Ergo, I still have stitches in my head and an ear covered with various adhesive applicances. The doc said that everything seemed to be healing well, and that the oozing and pain were expected. But he wanted to leave the stitches in for another week, probably just as an excuse to get me to come back to their office with another $40 co-pay next week. Sigh.

The bad news is that I'm still going to have to stay out of the swimming pool for at least another week. That probably means more blogs about running, and about bandages, and about coaching from the deck. As to whether we're going to have additional visits from various Cartwrights, well, you'll just have to stay tuned. In the meantime, have a great day!

Recovery

Our new swim team Facebook page will be up soon, and I intend to post lots of swimming photos, workouts, and general thoughts about the life aquatic once that becomes an option. Of course, my lack of aptitude for social media (and social anything, really) could have a negative impact on those plans, but I'm hoping that my good friends will continue to encourage me to join the 21st Century by learning the necessary skills.

For now, though, here are a couple of pictures from last month's Fun Meet at Foothills.



Since I only look into mirrors from the front of my face (and in the last week, from a slight angle as I fruitlessly try to attach bandages to my recently-mutilated ear), I forget that I really don't have any hair at all on the top of my head.

This is not a new condition. I first recognized the situation about 8 years ago when I was being videotaped while presenting an online computer training class. When the Director looked through the monitor and saw the way the lights reflected off the top of my head, he had the makeup guy "mute" my scalp to minimize the glare. I was expecting "mute" to mean that they would dim the lights, or perhaps sprinkle my head with special Esteé Lauder anti-sheen powder. But no. The makeup guy reached into his bag of tricks and pulled out -- I kid you not -- a tin of black shoe polish. He covered my head with shoe polish (but didn't buff it), and despite it feeling really weird, it ended up looking great on camera. A portable cure for broadcast baldness.

Anyway, the point is that since I feel so young and virile and he-manly all the time, it's always a shock to see photographic evidence for why the rest of the world sees me as a ancient doddering geezer. Sigh.

As for why I'm lifting my head so high and have my feet so far apart, well, I'll just have to blame that on poor coaching. Anyway, the point is that these swim meets are amazingly fun, and you really ought to participate in the next one. It'll probably be in January or February, and I will let you know all about it once the date is set.

(Of course, that will probably be on the Facebook page. IF I get my social media act together.)



Anyway, I'm sure you're saying "Terry, that meet was, you know, like, ancient history...like totally back in the time of steamboats and pterodactyls n' junk. What's been happening in your life lately?" And my friends, I'm glad you asked.

The answer is "a lot".

You probably guessed that there were proposals involved. When I have proposals due, my cognitive processes become even mushier than usual—so to save brain cells, I tend to drop certain activities. Blogging, taking out the recycling, spending time color-coordinating shirts with pants and belts -- all these activities (and more) find themselves being neglected.

The good news is that I'm pretty excited about some of the projects we're working on here. I can't share details online, but I'd say the chances are good that 5 years from now, people who want efficient and attractive lighting products are going to be choosing technologies developed at ITN. Very cool.

I've also videotaped another veteran interview, which always makes me feel so humble and grateful to the heroes who risked it all in the trenches in wartime. This fellow (Brad Beeler) had some great stories about not only his combat experiences in WWII, but his participation in a group that played music for the soldiers in Europe. As with so many of the guys we've talked to, he is not only talented, brave, and a real contributor...but he's also a modest and friendly gentleman of the highest caliber. I'm so very very proud to be able to help preserve the memories of these great Americans. (See http://www.americanpatriotshistory.org if you'd like to learn how you can help.)

The bad news is that I've had another patch of skin cancer removed. Well, OK -- I guess having it removed is good...it's getting the stupid stuff at all that stinks. And having to be out of the water for a couple of weeks is immensely annoying. Yes, my skin is now in a healthier condition, but the rest of my body (and soul) have suffered. I have a big bandage on the right side of my head, and the swimmers are getting tired of having me yelling at them from the deck.

Oh, and that reminds me: We got a groovy new digital pace clock at the Ridge! I'll say more about this in a future blog.

For now, it's time for another geek quiz.

Your challenge for today is to decipher the relationship between the left and right panels on each row.

And no, the answer is NOT "One is creepy and one is sorta normal." This may be true, but it's not the relationship I'm looking for.

As always, you can click on the puzzle to bring it up in its own window, and then use CTRL-mousewheel to zoom in if necessary.

And because I'm such a nice guy, I'm going to give you a hint. If you prefer the raw challenge, and don't want to know anything that might help you, then stop reading now. There's nothing below other than the clue I'm about to give. OK? Cool.

The relationships between the right and left panels are actually exactly the same on each row. So really, there's just one answer for the entire puzzle. The extra credit challenge is to name the individuals and identify the source of their relationship.

Want another hint? Two of the rows are actually identical.

OK, with that, I'll sign off and think about how tough it is to put a bandage on an ear where there's ointment all over and you wear trifocals and don't have good mirror-reverse-image hand-eye coordination to begin with. It ain't easy -- so though you're free to laugh at me, you should do it with an appropriate amount of sympathy, too.

Have a great day!

Autumn

Kirstie Alley and I swam on the same team.

Not at the same time, unfortunately; she had left the Wichita Swim Club before I joined. But I swam with Beth Alley and Mike Alley, who were probably related in some way to the future Vulcan hottie. Therefore, I am fully justified in claiming a close personal connection with all things Star Trek. Right?

If that's not enough, I can show you my two Leonard Nimoy record albums, my William Shatner CD, and my souvenir phial of quadrotritacale.

OK, I don't actually own any quadrotritacale. But I have spent many an hour listening to Nimoy's silver-throated crooning. His singing makes Perry Como sound like Bobcat Goldthwait.

Or not. Anyway, the point is that my good friend Kirstie figures in the answer to the first of our quiz questions.

1. Kobayashi Maru
     A. An exotic food of unimaginable deliciousness.
     B. A secret Ninja method of extracting information.
     C. An unwinnable situation.
     D. A person whose brains are addled from addiction to video games.

C. The Kobayahi Maru was a fictional ship, created for a practical exam in Star Fleet Academy's command training program. It was designed to measure character under pressure, as the scenario was designed so that the student being tested would fail no matter which choices they made. Therefore, the name has become synonymous with a no-win situation. No matter what you decide, your ship gets blown up.

(Unless you're Captain Kirk, of course. He's the only one to ever beat the test. Ya gotta love this guy!)

2. Soylent Green
     A. A proof of the usefulness and value of the elderly.
     B. A color that can only be seen by extra-terrestrials.
     C. An embarrasing lack of sphincter control.
     D. A peaceful meadow where epiphanies are common.

A. There were actually many different colors of Soylent products. The "Green" variety was a public favorite...until Charlton Heston figured out that it was made from ground-up senior citizens. In the movie, this concept was repudiated by the citizenry and riots ensued. In real life, the idea has been incorporated into the Obamacare bill, scheduled to go into effect in 2015.

3. Klaatu Barada Nicto
     A. A secret meeting place for nightowls, or possibly vampires.
     B. Music enjoyed only by tone-deaf cannibals (eg, Tom Petty or U2)
     C. Klingon phrase meaning "¿Donde está el baño?"
     E. Code to keep omnipotent robot from destroying the Earth

E. (Why not "D"? I dunno. Must've been a typo. Sorry aboot that.) In "The Day the Earth Stood Still" (the good version, not the Keanu Reeves remake), the ultra-cool robot "Gort" is programmed to destroy the planet if his pal Klaatu gets killed. Well, since it's a well-known fact that all military personnel are trained to shoot any alien on sight, ol' Klaatu does indeed end up eating lead. Fortunately for terrestrials everywhere, the smoker-voiced chick Klaatu hooked up with was able to relay this critical code phrase to Gort before he cut loose with his unstoppable robotic destructivity, and everybody lived happily ever after. Well, except for all the world governments...who had to actually start being nice to each other, to keep the alien Justice League from giving us a terminal whupping.

(FYI: The phrase mentioned in answer C is actually "nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'." You're welcome.)

4. JarJar Binks
     A. An embarrasingly revealing swimming suit.
     B. The ultimate destructive force in the Universe.
     C. Gilligan
     D. An especially long episode of Tourette's Syndrome.

C. I suppose the case could be made for both "B" and "D", but the correct answer is "the character whose immediate elimination would save all the other characters, and enable them to achieve their objectives much more easily." See also "Lois Lane", "Lucille Ball", "Scooby Doo", and "Any of Samantha Stevens' relatives (including Durwood)".

Next up: The dropping temperatures, and their effect on training plans. Stay tuned, and have a great day!

Great Weekend

Most weekends are pretty great, come to think of it. There are usually opportunities for exercise, relaxation, and perhaps something social thrown in as a bonus. I do enjoy the weekends, especially as a condo-dweller who has no yard work, fixit tasks, or lumberjacking duties to perform in recognition of civic responsibilities. My only obligations to the neighborhood are to park in the assigned spot and not make too much noise when I get up in the morning three hours earlier than anyone else in the complex.

Saturday began with a nice run in Waterton Canyon. I say it was nice because the weather was optimal, the foliage gorgeous, and the roadway free of dangerous beasties. My running was nothing to get excited about -- can you spell S.L.O.W? -- but it was reasonably consistent and steady, and I didn't need to walk at all during the nine-mile journey. And this week, I didn't get hit by any rocks.

Hmm. I don't think I told you about that, but it's true...last Sunday I experienced the "falling rock" phenomenon first hand. In Waterton, it's not unusual to see a few rocks lying in the road -- the canyon walls do occasionally relinquish some of their mass to gravity's greedy pull. But the odds of witnessing any actual rockfall are slim indeed. On that particular day, though, one of the guys who was coming down the road as I was going up stopped me to say that rocks were dropping and that I needed to be careful.

Despite the warning, I wasn't too worried...but I did move over to the river side of the road as I ran. And sure enough, not a half-mile later I heard a cracking sound from above, followed by noises of stones cascading off the cliff walls. Using my martial arts training (thank you, Eddie Wong), I instantly covered my head with my arms and prepared for impact. But thanks to my position at the far side of the road, the initial rock smackage happened a dozen feet to my right.

Which is not to say I was free and clear. Several of the fragments bounced and rolled away from the impact site, and one of them skittered across the road to strike the side of my shoe. It was a golf-ball-sized piece, and it didn't hit me hard at all...but it still woke me up to the idea that bears, pumas, and bighorn sheep are not the only dangers to be encountered in Waterton. It also made me appreciate the fact that I don't wear headphones when I run. If I am going to get hit by rocks (rolling or otherwise), I want to hear them coming.

I relayed the warning to the next guy I saw approaching the area, and continued running. Nothing else happened, except that I became increasingly tired as the miles added up. No suprise there, eh?

Anyway, I was glad to complete the run uninjured, and equally glad to go home for a well-deserved nap. I needed to rest up for Sunday's swimming competition!

Sorry, but I don't have any action photos of any of the intense aquatic battles that took place. As expected, our team totally dominated the lowly Dawgs, and several of our folks set Personal Records (PRs). I'm especially proud of Kevin Sheen and Erin Hess for swimming in their first meet ever, and of Robb Caseria for setting a PR in the 400IM. Also, I owe many thanks to my most helpful brother and to Carolanne for doing the heat arranging, and to Sara for being such an excellent starter. Everything went smoothly.

And how did I swim? Well, let's just say that I once again demonstrated that sprinting is not my strength. And most disappointing of all was that I didn't even break a minute for the 50 Taz. 1:05 for a 100 freestyle, which is about how slow I was before joining Wichita Swim Club back when Johnson was President. Ugh.

Am I giving up on ever swimming fast again? No. Not yet. But it's obvious that I need to take my training more seriously if I intend to be competitive.

But it was fun. The food was delicious and plentiful, and everyone was smiling and laughing throughout the entire thing. I know I've said it many times before, but I love hanging out with swimmers. I am grateful to be blessed with having such great teammates and friends. And they all know how to bring tasty food to a potluck!

Now if I could just go fast enough to beat a few of them...

Oh well. Enough about that. It's time for our quiz.

Today's entry is a text-only multiple choice test. The theme is "Cultural Literacy", and the questions are about phrases taken from popular media that represent simple metaphors for complex concepts. Your challenge is to choose which concept belongs with the term. Bonus points if you know the origin of the term. Make sense? Begin.

1. Kobayashi Maru
     A. An exotic food of unimaginable deliciousness.
     B. A secret Ninja method of extracting information.
     C. An unwinnable situation.
     D. A person whose brains are addled from addiction to video games.

2. Soylent Green
     A. A proof of the usefulness and value of the elderly.
     B. A color that can only be seen by extra-terrestrials.
     C. An embarrasing lack of sphincter control.
     D. A peaceful meadow where epiphanies are common.

3. Klaatu Barada Nicto
     A. A secret meeting place for nightowls, or possibly vampires.
     B. Music enjoyed only by tone-deaf cannibals (eg, Tom Petty or U2)
     C. Klingon phrase meaning "¿Donde está el baño?"
     E. Code to keep omnipotent robot from destroying the Earth

4. JarJar Binks
     A. An embarrasingly revealing swimming suit.
     B. The ultimate destructive force in the Universe.
     C. Gilligan
     D. An especially long episode of Tourette's Syndrome.

Good luck, and have a great day!