Census

Another weekend escaped. Oh, it was productive enough, I suppose...but after a weekend like this I always end up thinking about those crusty old people who write deathbed essays about how they wish they'd have spent less time vacuuming and more time shooting fireworks and beating up hippies and whatnot. In the grand scheme of things, I'm quite sure that my "life satisfaction" balance sheet shows far too much laundry/grocery shopping...and far too little skydiving and bungee jumping.

Well, OK, I really have no desire to do skydiving nor bungee jumping, but you know what I mean. It'd be good to hike some 14ers, or attend a Laser Floyd performance or something. Or go to a Cirk D Solay (or however you spell it) show and annoy all the stripey-shirted Frenchmen by constantly saying "I could do that...but I don't wanna."

But I really shouldn't complain; this weekend wasn't ALL about dryer sheets and Windex*. I had a nice long run on Saturday morning and was able to chat with some friends I hadn't seen for a while. I had an excellent dinner meeting with my buddies from the Veterans History Project, and as always, learned something new about military history. And on Sunday morning, I enjoyed a rousing tennis match with my son -- that we barely finished before the snow made the court too wet. (If you've never played tennis in a snowstorm, I highly recommend it. Not only is it exhilirating to have that snappy cold air to keep your reflexes sharp, but it's also good exercise for your eye-brain synapses as you try to distinguish between the giant flakes and the bouncing ball. Quite the challenge, I assure you.)

I also received my Census questionnaire. And being the good, compliant-sheep citizen I am, I filled it out immediately. It didn't take long; they didn't ask very many questions. And that rather puzzles me.

All they wanted to know was who all lives at my address, and what race they belong to. Hmmm.

The public service ads they're running on radio and TV imply that all sorts of funding decisions are made based on the results of the census...and I guess I can see some logic in using population density figures to help with those allocations. But what does race have to do with it? I thought we supposed to be a "post-racial" country...but it appears that they're planning to make decisions based strictly on ethnicity. Isn't that the very definition of racism?

Hmm. I apparently do not understand our system of government very well. Heck, I don't even recall anything in the Constitution that directs Congress to take over companies, mandate purchases, expand like a puffer fish, etc....but I'm sure those provisions must exist. I suspect it has now become my civic duty to file a class-action lawsuit against all of my schoolteachers for failing to educate me properly.

And while I'm at it, I'm pretty sure I should be suing those teachers (and Congress, too) for their failure to make me rich by this point in my life. I may not remember everything about the Founding Documents, but I'm quite certain there's something in them about the government guaranteeing me life, liberty, happiness, and a Mercedes.

On the other hand, filling out the census form was probably enough civic duty for one year. After all, they're gonna expect me to vote in November, and that's a royal pain. And it's not like these elections actually matter or anything. Whoever is in office is sworn to represent me, and I'm sure that they know best. Even decisions that seem utterly ruinous and idiotic must be good for the country, because those folks just care so much. Right?

Anyway, the point is that YOU should fill out your census form, too, if you haven't done it already. That's all I'm sayin'. And then go outside and do something fun. The laundry will still be there when you get back.

Have a great day!

*Thinking about household cleansers made me wonder about some of the products that were once popular, but now no longer seem to be on the market. How long has it been since anyone used Bab-O, for example...or Janitor-in-a-Drum? I know that Mr. Clean is still around (though less ethnic than he used to be), but do they still make Comet? Bon Ami?

And does anybody else get the connection between my previous sentence and this movie clip?

Oscars

As I've said before, I stopped watching the Oscars in 1981, when Chariots of Fire won best picture. It wasn't a horrible film, I guess, (though it contained neither chariots nor fire) -- but it didn't hold a candle to Raiders of the Lost Ark, which probably had more running, athletics, and agony of defeat in it. And certainly more fire. And if anyone needed more evidence that the Academy was as idiotic as Congress, you only needed to wait until 1985, when one of the best movies ever made wasn't even nominated. The best picture award that year went to Out of Freakin' Africa, which was so boring that I still yawn whenever I hear the title. I ask you, in what Bizarro universe does this piece of junk win over Back to the Future?

So needless to say, a person of my high personal standards of cinematic taste and excellence would naturally avoid the Oscar ceremonies, and in fact, wouldn't even pay attention to the whole process. But since I can't help but be generally aware of what's going on in the world, I knew a little bit about some of the films that were up for awards. I had even seen a couple of them this year (and Avatar twice). But I must admit that I didn't know much about The Hurt Locker. Something about Julia Child, maybe? A documentary of the time she got her finger cut off by Dan Aykroyd or something? I don't know.

But at least I'd heard of it. What I want somebody to explain to me is how I managed until yesterday to remain oblivious about Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog -- how had this gem escaped my notice? I thought that "The Return of Captain Invincible" was the best singing superhero movie ever, but I was wrong.

Dr. Horrible has everything -- Neil Patrick Harris as an evil scientist, singing and dancing in laundromats, freeze rays, and political correctness/diversity (ie, crusades for the homeless, a horse in a position of authority). Even Avatar didn't have all that stuff.

I guess I need to spend more time surfing nerd blogs (like you apparently do). There must be an entire community out there for people who appreciate time travelling DeLoreans more than grass huts, giraffes, and tse tse flies. I'll let you know what else I find as I search for it.

In the meantime, go to Netflix's instant movie queue and check out Doogie as a different kind of Doctor. And have a great day!