State Meet Article

Here's an article I wrote for the Colorado Masters Swimming Association (COMSA) newsletter:

2009 Colorado Masters SCY State Championships

The Masters State Championship swim meet is April 3–5. If you haven't marked it on your calendar yet, go do that right now. I'll wait.

[Humming the theme from Jeopardy]

Ah good, you're back. I forgot to tell you to also send emails to your boss, your family, and your drinking buddies, etc., to tell them you'll be busy that weekend. For those three days, your focus will be on swimming.

What's so special and important about that particular swim meet? Why is it SO much fun to attend?

For one thing, it's at the University of Denver. The fun begins when you get to print out your own parking pass—how cool is that? And then while you're walking to the pool from the parking lot, you can have a great time guessing which pedestrians are swimmers and which are heading to the Robotics Competition. (Hint, the ones with towels and gym bags are usually the swimmers; the ones with equations and/or software company logos on their t-shirts are usually the robo-nerds.)

Yes, that's right—there's no end to the weekend's entertainment. Watching the swim meet is amazingly entertaining, but if anyone in your group gets bored, there's plenty more to watch; not only robots, but probably gymnastics, lacrosse, and fledgling attempts at springtime college romance out on the Ritchie Center lawn.

The great thing about the swim meet is the variety and depth of the competition. There's everything from people competing for the very first time in their lives all the way up to the occasional National or World Record. Because it's Colorado Masters Swimming, the meet is friendly and welcoming to all swimmers of every ability...and everybody cheers for everyone else. I doubt that you could ever find a more supportive and friendly group.

But what I enjoy is the opportunity for the head-to-head rivalries. Since the races are seeded by time (not age), you swim against people your same speed. In the distance races they combine men and women, which means I get to race the ladies, too. It doesn't always work out well for me, I'm afraid (Curse you, Nicole Vanderpoel!), but it is always fun.

Last year, I experienced some real grudge matches. Jeff Magouirk and I were within a few tenths of each other in nearly every race we swam. Jeff is an extremely nice guy, and seems to know everyone. He's a member of the dreaded "Bee Gees" team, which (in addition to their name's unfortunate association with disco, John Travolta, and that horrid "Sgt. Peppers" movie) apparently requires its members to forego any pride in their fashion sense by wearing those garish, polka-dotted clown swimsuits. Anyway, Jeff and I have an excellent rivalry going. He'll beat me in one event, and then I might be able to squeak past him in the next. It's fun!

That's the beauty of swimming in a great meet like this: you're certain to find someone to enjoy competing with. And you're certain to make new friends.

And if that's not enough, here are a few other perks of attending this meet:

It's a beautiful facility! The lanes are wide, the water is cool, and there are plenty of lanes for continuous warmup. The scoreboard is humongous and shows all the splits and final times, and there are plenty of drinking fountains. And get this -- the locker rooms actually have carpet in them...and not only that, there's a little machine that dries your swimming suit by spinning it around at a billion rpm! Technological wonders abound!

(Warning: Despite the luxurious locker rooms, the seating area in the pool isn't exactly designed for comfort. The bleachers are concrete, so unless you have a well-padded posterior, you might want to bring a cushion to sit on.)

You can participate in the Brute Squad competition! If you swim the 1650, 400 IM, and 200 Fly events, you'll receive a T-shirt that certifies your brutishness, which you'll probably want to wear constantly.

I understand that there's also something called the "Sprint Squad", but I'm not exactly sure what it is. (I tried sprinting once, and didn't like it at all. Sprinting is hard.) But if you happen to be one of those lucky people who has been blessed with fast-twitch muscles, I'm sure you can read about it on the meet entry form.

You can cheer for the recipient of the Lt. Governor's Cup and the COMSA Coach of the year!

The Lt. Governor's Cup is a prestigious award presented to someone who made significant contributions to Masters Swimming in Colorado. Sometimes the Lt. Governor even shows up in person to hand it over. It's a huge honor, and the recipients are people to whom we all owe significant thanks. It's great to have a chance to recognize and applaud their efforts.

And as for the Coach of the Year, well, I think we all know how much our coaches contribute to our swimming success. Without exception, these fine people are overworked and underpaid—they should be living in mansions, traveling in chauffeured limousines, and eating delivery pizza instead of frozen. This ceremony should probably include a brass band, a chorus line, and plenty of confetti, but I guess you can't have everything.

You can participate in a pool-deck COMSA meeting! This is democracy at its finest—what other organization brings their election right to the pool like this? What other organization allows you to vote while dripping wet? (If they only served ice cream, it would be perfect.)

And if all these benefits weren't enough to convince you to attend this meet, consider this: sometimes they give away freebies! I've gotten license plate holders, discount coupons for local merchants, and even a miniature towel with a DU logo on it. And then there's the unlimited entertainment value provided by the outstanding efforts of the swimmers, the fierce relay competitions, the clever chants and cheers, and the mysterious rubber chicken hanging from the backstroke flags.

But what it really comes down to is this: You work your tail off all year round, trying to improve your speed and skill. This meet provides the perfect opportunity to test yourself, and to verify the progress that you've made. The fact that you can go out with some old friend (or new friends) for a drink or some lunch after giving your best in the water...well, it's just icing on the cake.

Don't miss it. I'll see you there!