Winter Olympics

When I heard that Shaun White was going to be in the Olympics, I said "Hey! I know that guy! I used to work with him making computer training videos!" Heck of a nice guy, and an excellent video director. A little old for the snowboard thing, I thought, but with such an obviously talented guy...hey, why not?

Turns out it's a different Shaun White. The Olympics dude isn't quite as tall as my friend, and seems a bit more, um, reckless. There's something about strapping yourself onto a hunk of wood, flinging yourself far above the planet's surface, and spinning like a Maytag rinse cycle that strikes me as beyond my range of risk tolerance. Heck, I can't even watch "Speed Racer" cartoons without hyperventilating; there's no way I'd try any of those chiropractor-enriching stunts.

Not that the Shaun White I know wasn't an exciting fellow himself. A fascinating guy: He had traveled the world as a journalist and had many hair raising stories of living on the edge. From what he told me about being searched at gunpoint in combat zones, and having to unspool videotape from cassettes and hide it inside smelly sweatsocks to keep from being thrown into a Gulag...well, I can't say I'd want to be a war journalist, either. But beyond that, this guy had been involved in world-record ballooning ventures, and had even met the fellow who had done the world-record height freefall parachute jump (from so high up he had to wear a spacesuit -- no kidding!)

Anyway, the point is that Shaun White is my favorite snowboarder for reasons that are totally unrelated to his performance, personality, or relationship with tomatoes.

Unfortunately, my work schedule won't permit me to watch much of the Olympics this winter, so I probably won't be able to converse intelligently about any of the sports. I will say that I like the idea of the snowboard-cross and ski-cross events being added; those certainly provide a more interesting viewing experience than bobsled. I mean, I'm sure it's an absolutely thrilling sport in which to participate (unless you're the dude in the back who had nothing to look at but the driver's backside), but when all we see is a series of microsecond-long shots of a colored tube zipping by, it's rather hard to get a feel for the "athletics" involved. It reminds me of those old pneumatic message cylinders they used to use in bank drive-throughs and Cary Grant movies. I can see why some people argue that it's tough to define as a "sport".

We shall discuss "Curling" at another time.

I'm not sure what I think about short-track speed skating, either. Seems kinda silly to have the oval so small that you have to push and shove to get around anyone. I guess that may be part of its attraction...like Roller Derby. And I suppose there is the redneck appeal of knowing how likely it is that you'll see crashes and blood and possible fisticuffs. But still, you have to wonder what's up with a sport whose most visible face is a dude named after a conceited fictional movie boxer, and who wears a "soul patch". C'mon, Mr. Ohno, that stuff went out about the same time as Billy Idol. Geez.

But I'll watch if I can. It's the Olympics, man. If I get a chance to absorb much of it, I may discuss my favorite events in a future post. I hope that you are enjoying it, too, and can implement the Olympian lessons learned into your own life. (Like "how to dress well" from the figure skating, and how to talk with a sexy Norweigian accent, etc.) Soak up all the inpiration you can, and have a great day!