Interior Design

I know that everyone blames Al Gore for Global Warming, and I can't fault them for that. I'm sure that his behaviors will earn him a stern sentence on Judgment Day, and who am I to question such things? At the same time, though, I don't think we should forget about the person who actually brought the idea of manmade eco-damage into the public consciousness...Dustin Hoffman.

Well, OK, maybe it wasn't really Hoffman who uttered the famous line in The Graduate. But if it wasn't for his implied endorsement of the plastics industry, I'm sure that we'd all be living in renewable log cabins, eating renewable vegetables while we sit in our renewable wicker chairs...and both Gaia and Gore would be happy. Nobody would be watching the Super Bowl on those hell-spawned big-screen HD TVs, and milk would still be available in glass bottles as God intended.

But at the risk of being stoned as a heretic, I have to admit that I rather have a fondness for the petrochemical industry. Why just last week, I enjoyed a lovely day on the mountain slopes, using both boots and skis that contained large percentages of plastics. Don't get me wrong, I like wood and ceramics and adobe and stuff...but sometimes there are advantages to using plastic and/or metal materials.

What sparked this particular train of thought? Well, during my visit to the mountains last week, not only was I fortunate enough to enjoy the unmatched majesty of the Colorado mountains, but I was also able to spend some time with my brother at his lovely home in Tabernash. He and his wife put a lot of effort into the design and construction of their dream home up there, and the results are spectacular. Not only are the views from the deck and windows positively breathtaking, but the interior of the home is gorgeous as well. I'm not usually one who comments much about interior design, but these folks did it right; it's a fabulous home.

In previous visits, I had taken the time to notice the woodwork, the tile, the fixtures, and the well-planned layout. But this time was the first opportunity I've had to just hang out and watch TV. And during that relaxing period, I happened to glance at the walls.

So here's my question: At what point in history did wicker baskets become a wall-hanging design element? Did some ancient Roman housewife sitting around in the kitchen happen to notice that she had one more basket than she had fruit for, and suddenly decided to nail it to the wall above the fireplace? "Oh wow," she must've said, "that looks WAY better than a painting. In fact, I think I'll buy more baskets and hang them all over the place. The neighbors will be SO jealous!"

I bet that's exactly what happened. And for the last 2000 years, every female in civilization has shared that vision of wickered-up wall space.

I obviously don't understand women. The ideas of "decorative fruit", "Matthew McConaughey", and "potpourri" just don't sense to me. But like most men, I happily concede to women's desires for such things, just as I expect them to allow me my indulgence in Larry, Moe, and Curly. But while we're on the topic of wicker, can someone tell me why anyone would make furniture out of the stuff? Sure, I can see it if you live in a pre-industrial society, or in a remote area where yucca or bamboo are the only construction materials. But this is America, people! We can make stuff out of all sorts of comfortable materials. And if comes down to a choice between my personal comfort and the loss of a few ozone molecules, well, I say let's fire up the ol' Vac-U-Form.

Hey, don't look at me that way. Blame it on Rainman.

And my friends, feel free to hang whatever you want on your walls, no matter how silly -- whether it was originally designed to hold food or not. And have a great day!