Brief Getaway

So my brother calls me up on Monday and says "You don't look like Brent Farv - you look like Jeebs. Plus, you suck."

Ah, the good-natured banter among loving siblings; don't ya just love it?

Anyway, then he says "Dude, you gots to come skiing with me tomorrow. We both could use an opportunity to get out of town, and it won't be crowded. C'mon, man."

I quickly explained that with my position as the most indispensable employee at the entire company, I could not take a day off without seriously jeopardizing National Security and putting my fellow employees in dire straights, crippling the business and causing untold stress and hardship among my coworkers.

"Dude," he says, "You suck."

"You may have a point," I reply. "Perhaps they would be able to survive without me for one day. Let me check my calendar." It was blank. Hmm. "OK, perhaps the Free World will survive one day without my services. But skiing is expensive and I still have a sore throat."

"I have a discount coupon, and shan't tolerate wimpiness from you, you maggot. You ARE going skiing." (He used to be an officer in the Marine Corps, so he possesses high-level training in the effective use of implied maggotry.)

"OK," says I, and thus began a grand adventure. I'm sure you are wondering: Did I survive the athletic ordeal without sunburn, frostbite, or sore quads? Did the company survive my workday absence? Did riding the lifts with my brother spark amusing memories of college skiing days when we all sang the Meow Mix song at the top of our lungs to the chagrin of other resort patrons? Did I eat far too much pizza and ice cream, get far too little sleep, and resemble a zombie at the office on Wednesday? Tune in tomorrow for the answers to these questions, as well as a detailed snow-depth report. Until then, have a great day!