Chi Running Update

I'll begin with a brief historical review: For many years now, I've had problems with running -- goofy asymmetrical stride, uncooperative hamstrings, near-constant knee pain, and an irrational desire to find the person who invented the sport and hit him over the head with a shovel. To say that running has been tough for me would be like saying that Jeffrey Dahmer had mild dietary idiosyncrasies.

But a bunch of my very best friends are enthusiastic runners who absolutely love the sport and preach its gospel at every opportunity. Some of these sermons include recommended bibliographies...and so a few months ago I decided to read a couple of running books. The first was "Born to Run", which makes the case that all of us humans are genetically engineered to run long distances without injuries and pain...as long as we run "barefoot style" -- eschewing expensive padded shoes and landing on the midfoot area rather than the heel. The next book was "Chi Running", which also claims that pain-free running is possible. It advocates many of the same style modifications as "Born to Run", but wraps the technique discussions within the comforting blanket of Oriental Philosophy and metaphysical urgings to use your running to achieve Nirvana, etc.

No, not the rock group Nirvana. The other one. Imagine that instead of being trained by the Penguin, Rocky Balboa was coached by Kwai Chang Caine.

Anyway, I decided to give the "Chi" thing a try, and have been pursuing this course for several weeks now.

As I understand it, "Chi" is the central life force we each have, and it's centered somewhere around your solar plexus. Having a healthy chi promotes everything from growing hair (hence the term "chia") to digesting spicy Mexican food (hence, "chi-potle"). The theory is that if you run by focusing on how your chi moves, it somehow takes the pressure off your knees and keeps your legs healthier. Whatever. I'm a bit fuzzy on the science...but if it works and I can run farther with less wobbling and minimized cursing, then I'm all for it.

Since I read those books, I've been working on it. And so far, I have actually noticed an improvement in knee function. So -- on Saturday, I attempted my longest run in many months. My ultra-runner friend Katie was looking for pacers for her 6-hour run, and I figured I could go an hour with her. She was planning to go really really slow, so there was a slight chance I could keep up.

And I am pleased to announced that I DID survive, and that my knees feel fine. I ran a mile-and-a-half farther than I had run since before I started this quest for better technique, and when I finally abandoned Katie, I did so with a great sense of pride in my own accomplishment.

And then I realized that we had done a one-way run...and that I had a LONG way to go to get back to my car. Oops. The Chi Running book didn't say anything about how to engage in "chi-hitchhiking" or "chi catching-a-bus". Hmm. Looks like I'd have to make the return trip on foot. The good news was that I could walk, which would be easier than running. The bad news is that walking is really slow.

To make a LONG story short, I eventually made it back to my car. And the most exciting thing was that even though I had madly exceeded my normal "make me hobble for a week" mileage, I was able to walk the next day. In fact, I felt really good; amazingly good. I'm beginning to think that the whole barefoot running thing really does make some kind of kooky sense. And so, for now, I'm sticking with it. I'm not quite ready to toss my shoes in the trash and impersonate Abebe Bikila or anything, but I'm staying away from anything that makes me land hard on my heels.

I'll keep you posted.

And on a related topic; I've been watch The Retro Channel a lot lately. They're playing old Star Trek, Mission Impossible, and Beverly Hillbillies reruns. And since I have a degree in Broadcasting, you can trust me when I say that these shows represent the all-time pinnacle of the television arts. But that's not the point; the relatable point for today's blog is about the fact that these vintage programs are often accompanied by advertising for the kinds of things you won't see advertised at the Super Bowl. You know what I mean...commemorative dinner plates, Franklin mint collectible non-monetary coins, and yes -- chia pets.

Here's the latest campaign:


That's right: Presidential Chia: Washington, Lincoln, and Obama. Putting aside the rather questionable flavor of patriotism involved in marketing such things for a moment, I must confess that seeing this ad still made me wonder how the marketers decided to chiafy this particular grouping of "heads" of state.

Let's see. Lincoln and Washington are on Mt. Rushmore, but Obama isn't (though I'd imagine somewhere there's a campaign in motion to get him put there.) Washington presided over the establishment of the country, and Lincoln fought for its re-unification — So I suppose it could be said that they each were responsible for increasing the size of the US government, and that's something they have in common with President Obama, I suppose. And if he succeeds with plans to merge our country with Mexico, or to Federalize the fast food industry, he may end up with his head on more than South Dakota mountains or terra cotta pottery.

Anyway, the only reason I bring this up is that I admire the commercial spirit of the chia-head marketers, even if I'm pretty sure I'm not in their target market. In my opinion, the only head that should be chiafied is Mr. T...and even then, I wouldn't buy one. I guess I'm old fashioned -- in that I prefer "normal" plants, like cactus and venus flytraps and Christmas trees. But if you have a relative who enjoys spindly little grasses that grow out of the heads of politicians, then I wanted to make sure you knew about this potential holiday gift.

You're welcome. It's always my pleasure to offer advice, whether it's about shopping or running form. I do what I can. Thanks for tuning in, and have a great day!