Punctuality Restored

Several people have pointed out to me how ubiquitous clocks are. Every computer has a clock (though not all are accurate), as does every car, and almost every cell phone. A lot of the kids today use their phones exclusively for timekeeping, rather than strapping a chronograph onto their wrist. Makes sense, actually...why bother with a watch when you're going to be carrying a device that performs the same function, anyway?

But I suppose habits count for something, too. During the time my watch was disassembled and drying out, I noticed how many times during the day I would glance at my bare wrist where my watch normally resides. Some of those glances were to see what the date was, some were to get the time, and some were apparently for no reason whatsoever. (I'd look at my arm and realize that I already knew what time it was. It's a rather odd feeling to realize that you have a habit of visually confirming what you already know...makes you feel like you have some sort of obsessive need to verify your connection with the flow of the day. Probably a sign of massive insecurity and self-doubt. Hmmm. Rather than spend money on a new watch, I should probably see a shrink.)

Whatever the reason for my frequent watch-check behavior, the wet one failed to perform properly even when dried out and given a new battery. I decided that I just needed to buy a new watch. After all, I rationalized, I need it for coaching...I know the folks on the team love to time 1650s, and somebody needs to keep track of the minutes. Besides, if I don't cover that bare white segment of my wrist, I'll probably get sunburned, and after the recent skin-graft ordeal on my ear, I'm thinking "no way!" A new watch would coincidentally be the exact right size and shape to cover the melanin-challenged area, wouldn't it?

I stopped at Big 5 on the way home, and bought the cheapest waterproof, big-numbered watch they had. It was one of the Timex Ironman series, and they said the list price was $80. It didn't look quite the same as my previous unit, but seemed to have enough buttons to do the job, and it was on sale for $30. I went for it.

As obligated by my reputation as a nerd, the first thing I did was read the intruction sheet. Or should I say, I tried to read the instructions. As regular readers know, I am all about planetary responsibility and saving the environment through waste reduction, but I'm not sure I can endorse the recent practice of printing operating instructions in 2-point font in order to save paper. Oh sure, it's great that we can cram watch instructions in 4 languages onto one 8.5 x 11 sheet, but there is no way on earth I'm going to be able to read any text that small.



But that's what the Internet is for, right? If you can't read the paper copy, you get online, download the PDF version, and zoom in until the characters are big enough for your poor old eyes. Simple enough. Or so I thought.

Timex has about a million different watches, and even after looking through all of the "Ironman" brand options, I didn't see anything that looked like the watch I had purchased. Could it be that I got ripped off and bought a Chinese knock-off or something. Was it a Tianamex or a Ti-Mao or something? Hmm.

I'll spare you the details of my heroic search and in-depth study of the problem. Suffice it to say that after less than a dozen hours, I finally managed to locate the correct watch on the Timex site. Turns out it wasn't under the "Ironman" category at all -- it's an "iControl" watch. It appears to be an ordinary triathlon watch (and even has the Ironman logo on it), but is really designed to be used with an iPod.

That's right, my watch has buttons for previous/next track, volume controls, and a tiny radio transmitter to connect to the receiver you hook to your iPod. That way, you can manipulate your tunes from the convenience of your wrist while you're doing your triathlons. These Americans are fiendishly clever, aren't they?

Unfortunately, I don't own an iPod. Plus, I suspect that the reason the watch was on sale and contained no paperwork pertaining to iPodery, was that its tiny little transmitter doesn't work. In other words, I think I purchased a dud. Even if I had an iPod, I could probably push my watch's "Play" button all day long and my MP3s would remain forever silent. I'm pretty sure that my "iControl" features are "iNactive".

Oh well, at least I know what time it is.