Swimmer's Ear

It happens to every swimmer at some point.

OK, momentary diversion--For some reason, writing that last sentence made me think of "It Happens Every Spring", which in turn, provoked the idea for a trivia challenge (and an easy one at that). So here it is: What is the common element among these four images?



All right, thanks for indulging me. Now, back on topic. Swimmer's Ear.

No wait...one more. What do these images have in common? And you get extra credit if you can tie it to today's topic (hint: the subject tie-in has to do with leftmost picture).



OK, about my brain fever, er, I mean swimmer's ear: I first noticed it yesterday. The symptoms are hard to ignore--a minor ache inside the ear, and some low-grade tenderness if you pull gently on the earlobe. If it's a full-blown ear infection, you'd also expect some symptoms of a minor fever, perhaps, and maybe the feeling of a clogged head. I didn't feel those indicators, and I've had swimmer's ear more than a handful of times over the years, so it's not unfamiliar. It's an occupational hazard that comes with being a swimmer, I guess.

If I remember correctly, I've never had a problem that wasn't cleared up in a day or two with some mild over-the-counter alcohol/acid solution. I know that some folks react by immediately asking their doctor for whatever antibiotic happens to be popular this week...but I'm hoping that my self treatment with ear drops will take care of the problem and save me a co-payment. Besides, with my new job and new insurance, I haven't yet hooked up with an "in-network" physician. Life would be easier if the government made all my healthcare decisions for me (which they'll eventually do if the damn Tea Party would stop insisting that personal choice and freedom are desirable--curse their Constitution-loving hides!). But until that Utopian day appears, I am forced to actually meet with candidate medical personnel and find someone with whom I'm comfortable. And I haven't yet done that.

So, for the moment at least, I'm dribbling drying agents into my ear canal and hoping that my immune system takes care of the rest. I went to bed really early last night, and will probably do the same tonight...just to give my system the best possible chance to fight off whatever's going on inside my head. If I'm still feeling the ache tomorrow, well, then maybe I'll break down and go see a professional. We'll see.

In the meantime, I'll share my favorite story about swimmer's ear. It concerns the infamous Roger Neugent, who achieved notoriety through numerous incidents such as jumping out the fourth floor window at Oliver Hall with a fire extinguisher, setting fire to carpet in Naismith Hall (accidentally, of course), and scientifically proving that being drunk improved fine motor skills. (He was also reputed to be stronger than Billy Jack...but that's a tale for another day.) Anyway, Roger contracted swimmer's ear at one point, right before a critical meet. He went to the coach and said "It was inevitable. I had cut my finger!"

Huh? Cutting your finger leads to swimmer's ear? Well, yes, as a matter of fact, it does. As Roger explained, "My index finger is the exact right size and shape for creating a suction seal in my ear canal. After swimming, I use this perfectly-formed finger to implement an "ear vacuum", which coaxes any inner ear moisture out to the surface where it can be wiped off. Thus dried, the inner ear remains healthy." He went on to explain that the cut on his finger ruined the magical proportions required for this suction-cup water extraction, which left his ear moist, and therefore vulnerable to bacteria. Ergo: plague, pestilence, and a week of enforced absence from the pool.

Or something like that. Anyway, my ear feels a bit better today, but I'll keep an eye on it...which reminds me of the clip below. Enjoy it, keep your fingers intact for aural health, and have a great day!