The KrustyBurger Gambit

Back in 1984, the Krustyburger franchise handed out Olympics-based game tickets that were good for free food if the USA won that particular event. The company didn't expect to hand out much food, since the events that were on the tickets were all events that the Russians and Germans traditionally won. Well, it turned out that the godless Commies boycotted the '84 Olympics, and US athletes won many more events than they would in a non-boycott year...and Krustyburger took a financial beating on the promotion.

Still, it was a good idea...if only global politics hadn't interfered with the process of sporting competition. (In my opinion, politics and sports do not mix. One involves leadership, responsibility, and influence while playing a critical role in the functioning of the world--and the other is just a bunch of corrupt government doofuses interfering in people's lives.)

Aside: My Wichita Swim Club buddy Ron Neugent qualified for the 1980 US Olympic Team in the 1500 freestyle. When the Rooskies invaded Afghanistan, our President decided that the US would boycott the 1980 games in Moscow. Ignoring the irony available in hindsight (considering which countries have armies in Afghanistan today), this move left our Olympians without a venue in which to compete that summer. As the next election campaign began, Ron announced that he was organizing a group called AFWRAC -- Athletes for Whoever's Running Against Carter. Needless to say, they were successful.

But I digress. The point is that I received a card in the mail that entitles me to free food at McDonalds whenever the Broncos win a game. I submit to you that this is an updated version of the Krustyburger gambit...and is much more likely to be successful. People will hang onto the tags throughout the football season, thus keeping the golden arches visible to each of the tag-holding consumers for 16 weeks. It may even be that people will set up standing Monday morning McBreakfasts in anticipation of grabbing gratis grub. And yet, with the Broncos unlikely to win another game all season, the company probably won't have to fork over any free McMuffins at all. It's clearly a winning strategy (unlike what the Broncos will implement throughout the season).

As for me, well, I do consider myself a savvy consumer, and am generally resistant to advertising campaigns. For example, I love the Geico caveman ads, and have an inexplicable attraction to the goofy chick from Progressive...but I like my current insurance agent enough so that I won't bother to spend the 15 minutes required to get a quote on all those imagined savings. But I have to admit that just seeing the words "Egg McMuffin" printed on a little plastic tag make me start to salivate. So even though I know that the greedy corporate fatcats behind the arches are using an unscrupulous cartoon manipulation ploy to extract money from my wallet -- the fact is that I'm probably going to eat breakfast at Mickey D's in the next day or two. (McGriddles are very tasty, too. And their cinnamon melt thingies are heavenly. Come to think of it...I'm hungry NOW.)

I gotta go. I'll catch you all later. Have a great (and deliciously satisfying) day!