The Land of Ahhhs

My dad still lives in Kansas. So when I want to visit him, I take the long drive across the prairies...and get to experience the amber waves of grain through a bug-spattered windshield while the car is tossed around by winds just slightly less forceful than those that took Dorothy and Toto off to Munchkinland.

The plains of western Kansas haven't changed much since the ol' green witch melted. There are more cultivated sunflowers, and armies of modern giganto-hightech windmills far outnumber the quaint old-style types that were used to pump water to the horse trough. There don't seem to be quite as many billboards promising eternal damnation for getting abortions or believing in evolution, and the few remaining Burma Shave signs seems to have very little to do with foaming beard removal aids.

You can't blame Kansas for trying to promote itself through association with classic movies. After all, most people do think of ruby slippers and dancing scarecrows, etc, whenever Kansas is mentioned. Either that or Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. Or Marshall Dillon. Or the invention of basketball. But the fact is that the connection of "Oz" with "Ahhs" is pretty clever. I'm not sure I've ever said "Ah" about anything while in Kansas -- probably more like "Aughhh!" But still, "Land of Ahhs" is a good slogan.

Overall, the drive was pleasant enough. My brother went with me, and though I had fears that my undercharged air conditioner wouldn't be up to the task, we stayed cool and were able to chat about how we could best help our father during our brief visit. (We also talked about baseball, politics, movies, and the weather -- hey...it's a LONG trip.)

I'll spare you the details of the visit; it was mostly about organization and conversation. It's good to see the patriarch, of course, but these visits are not without their frustrations. Though neither has ever been elected to office, my dad and his wife apparently believe they have the same obligations as Congress -- to spend money they do not have on things that make no sense. But for a 92-year-old fellow, my dad gets around pretty well, and seems to get a kick out of having us kids there to talk to in person. It's always good to see him, and I know how lucky I am to have him around at that age.

Yes, it was hot there. 104°. My brother and I went running a few times during the visit, and were drenched in sweat within the first few hundred meters. And I'm not sure whether this was weather-related or not, but one of my dad's oldest trees chose to topple over during the night while we were in town. It showed the good taste to fall in the only possible direction where it wouldn't crush anything, so there was no damage. And as luck would have it, a neighbor was outside using a chainsaw when we discovered the fallen timber. By shouting over the fence, my brother was able to strike a deal with the guy to come over and slice it up for us.

The ride home was uneventful, and it's always good to be back in Colorado. I'm sure I'll be making another Kansas trip soon, and I'm optimistic that the state's ventures into technology such as windpower generation will spill over into adoption of other technological advances, such as using turn signals and accelerating on highway merge ramps. But we'll see. In the meantime, have a great Labor Day!