I Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday...

...for a Hamilton Burger today.

I honestly don't know if Erle Stanley Gardner ever wrote about Perry Mason getting a little tipsy at a lawyer party and giving the District Attorney a load of grief over the fact that he was named after a meat sandwich. But I am pretty sure the obvious joke was never mentioned during the long run of the TV series. This shows great restraint on the part of the writers. But if Raymond Burr and company were still alive, I think I would have to insist that such an episode be made.

But speaking of TV characters...I wonder if Jason Lee would've had the same sitcom success if his show had been called "My Name is Erle."

I also wonder if that name (Earl, Erle, Errol, etc) will ever make a comeback? I know there's at least one famous guy that spells it Url...I think he has something to do with web page design.

I actually had an uncle named Earl. He was a chiropractor who raised chinchillas in his basement. A whacky nutjob weirdo by any objective standards, Uncle Earl was nonetheless the least offensive and off-putting of any of the squirrels who skittered along the branches of my family tree. But I digress...

Our purpose in being here today is to discuss the answer to yesterday's graphical puzzle. What do these folks have in common?



The answer is "Hamil."

Oddly enough, Hamil is actually an Arabic word meaning (roughly) "to carry". It is most commonly used in reference to pregnancy, but applies equally well to each of our puzzle participants.

Frame 1 features the esteemed actor George Hamilton, shown here in his role as Bunny Wigglesworth, AKA Zorro the Gay Blade. ZGB is one of my Top Ten favorite movies, and I'd highly recommend you check it out if you haven't yet seen it. He carries a sword (or a whip) with which to fight injoostice.

Frame 2 is figure skater Dorothy Hamill, who carries an Olympic Gold medal...and the weight of a million schoolboy crushes from my generation of American males. I totally had the hots for her when I was in college -- and have to admit that I think she still looks pretty good today. I have no particular interest in meeting most celebrities, but for some reason I think it would be delightful to hook up with Dorothy someday, probably at Cinnabon for some laughs, a Dr. Pepper and a sticky bun. I bet she's pretty cool.

While Dorothy is a malt-shop poodle skirt, girl-next-door type of fantasy female, the chick in Frame 3 is more the type you'd want to have on your side when society crumbles after Hillary gets elected. Linda Hamilton not only carries some serious firepower, she also gets the award for Best Parent, Ever, since she so artfully raised and educated the fellow who led humanity to ultimately defeat the hideous robot minions of Steve Jobs.

Frame 4 features the aforementioned Hamilton Burger. He carries the distinction of being the only trial attorney to hold his job for decades without ever winning a single case. I have to say that I admire William Talman's ability to portray the character so sympathetically. Even though he sometimes acts like a bit of a jerk when he complains about Mr. Mason's cheap theatrics, you always have the feeling that he's really a pretty good guy...and is always happy to have justice done.

Frame 5 is the one who stumped the most people. Yes, that really is the guy who is most famous for making out with his sister and living in the swamp with a grammatically-challenged green muppet. Most people do think of Mark Hamill carrying a light saber and wondering why his dad wears a cape and works for a royal ugly dude, but he has actually had an enormously successful career after escaping from Lucas. (He is a BIG player in the voice-over acting world.) The picture in our puzzle is a screen-cap from "Comic Book: The Movie," which I mentioned the other day. He does a great job in that, and as I said before, if you're at all into sci-fi and cartoon type stuff, you should see it.

And by the way, if you know the first initial and middle name of the guy who is quoted at the start of this post, you'll earn 50 bonus points. Let me know.

Anyway, the more I look at the picture of Leia, the more I keep thinking about Cinnabon. Dorothy, my dear, if you happen to be reading this, please give me a call. It'll be my treat.

As for the rest of my friends, thanks for playing, and have a great day!