Unscheduled Maintenance

It would be great to have instant access to a doctor whose expertise encompassed everything from dentistry to romance -- someone who could cure anything from the common cold to a severe case of brain fever with roomatiz.

Unfortunately, I don't live in Bug Tussle...and though it's hard to believe -- the reduced copays and lowered medical costs mandated by the Affordable Care Act haven't yet trickled down to my doctor's office or insurance policies. Therefore, my primary healthcare approach is to economize by self-medicating as much as possible.

I recently procured an ACE "night splint" to help stretch things out to relieve the symptoms of my plantar fasciitis. It seems to be a pretty high-quality unit. But as with most products, I feel I could make a small suggestion or two for its improvement.

It's comfortable enough, and easy to strap on. The only problem I can see (other than an inability to adjust ankle angle...which is probably a feature on the more expensive models) is that the strap assembly on the leg part seems to have been designed without consideration for the natural shape of a human calf.

It's easy enough to strap it on high enough to achieve a good stretch on the foot...but the Velcro wrap only reaches the lower part of the calf -- which happens to taper from large to small as it descends down the back of the leg. This means that no matter how tight you cinch up the Velcro, it will eventually slide down your leg, which releases all the tension that you need to get that good stretch.

They should've made the shin piece several inches longer -- so that the straps would wrap around the top of the calf muscle, making it impossible for the unit to slide down over the bulging part of the lower leg. The bottom line is that despite the ease of use and attractive design, I have serious doubts about the actual curative effectiveness of this particular device.

I'll keep wearing it, though. It couldn't hurt. Right?

My other home remedy attempt was for the hideous knot in my right forearm. I'm pretty sure it's just tight because of the hours I spend either typing or mousing. It doesn't really bother me during work, but it severely restricts my ability to do bicep curls and pullups, and it bugs me when I swim.

I have a few Salonpas patches lying around. I got them as promotional items at various races, and though they make no claims of muscle relaxation (only pain relief), I thought I'd slap one on my arm to see what happened. Results = meh.

It did seem as if my muscle knot might have loosened a bit while the patch was on there...but it may be because I wasn't doing any typing at that point. A day later, all is as it was before.

Side effects? Well, the patch did give off a slight smell. Not particularly unpleasant, but anyone who knows me well knows that the only aromas that don't almost incapacitate me are vanilla, cinnamon, and cheesy baked goods. I did get a headache while wearing the patch, and I do attribute that to the smell. There was also a contemporary minor bit of lung congestion, but I have no idea if that was related. The bottom line is that I probably won't be using any more of those patches. Especially not on a knot.

The good news is that I swam hard at the pond last night. The bad news is that despite my effort, I couldn't keep up with my buddy Bob. Sure, I know he's a more talented swimmer than I am, and can access sprint speed that is well beyond my capacity. But I'm supposed to be a distance guy -- after 2000 yards, I should've been able to gain on him. Alas, I couldn't even hold the draft.

I went for a short run after that swim, and ran again this morning after my plyometrics workout. I am starting to think that I could actually get in shape in another month or so. Too bad my race is only a couple of weeks away. Oh well.

Perhaps the foot splint will provide some sort of miraculous cure, combined with an inexplicable boost in my running speed. You never know. Maybe I'll have my best triathlon ever. And win the Lotto.

OK, enough whining. As I mentioned yesterday, we are overdue for a trivia contest. Here's your first hint: This quiz was prompted by something I discussed yesterday. I have a great deal of affection for each of the people pictured here; and you get bonus points if you can explain why in each case. The basic premise, though, is simple: What do each of these folks have in common? (Click to embiggen.)

Good luck, and have a great day!