H. Landru Pufnstuff

Sometimes I tire of making my own decisions.

In many ways, life would be easier if there were a dragon-headed planetary computer deity who took care of all the big stuff and left us with nothing stressful to do. Life could be idyllic if the only thing you had to do was put on a skirt, keep your hair dyed nice and blond, and get a good tan.

But then I think about how upset I get when politicians start telling me how big my soda ought to be or what kind of hamburger I can eat, and I realize that I probably wouldn't do well in such an environment.

Despite the fact that most of my decision making concerns such epic choices as which T-shirt to wear and which Netflix movie to stream, I must admit that I cherish my freedom to make those choices.

I also enjoy my freedom to spent my life pondering questions that no one else cares to ask. For example, what caused body art to go from the fringes to the mainstream? When I was a kid, the only people who had tattoos were sailors of questionable character...and the totality of their inkage consisted of an anchor (or heart) drawn on their left shoulder. Now, pretty much everyone has some sort of embellishment, from tweety birds and adorable dolphins to complete renderings of the Devil having his way with Ned Beatty. It kinda freaks me out.

I blame it on this chick.

Somehow, she not only pulls off looking good with facial tattoos, but also makes flowers seem like reasonable headgear. Normally, I'm not a flower guy at all, but if I were to meet this gal during one of Vaal's fertility rituals, I would definitely be willing to invite her out for some coconut milk or whatever.

But despite Sayana's appeal, I still have no plans to adorn my skin with anything other than sunscreen. Popeye and Bluto are welcome to their anchors, and Mike Tyson can have his...whatever it is...but my intention is to remain pristine. (And even if I did get a tattoo, it would probably be nothing more than a tiny and discreet Blue Oyster Cult symbol.)

I have no idea whether J. Edgar Hoover had any tattoos. And that has nothing to do with the quiz, or what any of these guys have in common. It's just about their names.



From left to right on the top row, we have:
J. Edgar Hoover
M. Emmet Walsh
L. Ron Hubbard
J. Pat O'Malley

The second row contains:
C. Thomas Howell
F. Murray Abraham
W. Edwards Deming
R. Daneel Olivaw

So, the answer then, is obvious: They are all guys who were known by their first initial and middle name.

Hoover, of course, was the guy who invented the vacuum cleaner.

Just kidding! He was actually the director of the FBI for several decades, including when I was a youth.

Walsh is an actor who specialized in playing sleazeball characters, and is shown here as a grimy detective in the movie "Blood Simple." (If you haven't seen it and don't mind a bit of gore, I recommend it. You think you know what's going to happen, but you're wrong.)

Hubbard invented Scientology, which is responsible for Isaac Hayes quitting South Park. It may just be a coincidence, but in this picture, he kinda reminds me of Mel Brooks.

O'Malley was in a billion movies and TV shows; kind of a funnier version of Keenan Wynn.

Howell was a reasonably successful youth actor, and is still showing up on TV now and then. Abraham won an Oscar for killing Amadeus.

Deming was the management guru credited for the turn-around of Japanese industry after WWII. He then returned to the US and annoyed people in our companies for another decade or so.

The last guy is fictional. (Sorry about that.) R. Daneel Olivaw was Isaac Asimov's recurring robot character, who started out as an apprentice detective, and ended up running the Galaxy. Olivaw eventually crossed over from the Robot Series into the Foundation Series, and his stories are definitely worth reading. And while I'm sure you're all familiar with the Three Laws of Robotics, you may not be able to quote the "Zeroth" Law (the fourth to be delineated, but one which supersedes the others), which drives much of what R. Daneel accomplishes over his prolonged period of existence. I will leave that discussion for another time, though.

The "bonus" photo was of the gal who played the mom in "E.T."...who went by the name Dee Wallace Stone. I threw that in because "Dee" could be written as "D." and it would be pronounced the same. Get it?

Aw come on, that was legit. If it weren't for me taking a few liberties with the rules here and there, these quizzes would present no challenge at all. And where's the fun in that?

Anyway, if you have already finished all of Asimov's books and still have extra time to kill, you may find it interesting to read about Deming's ideas. I cannot recommend Hubbard, though. While his ability to convince people to buy into his prefab "cuckoo for cocoa puffs" looney-bin claptrap sets an example of world-class manipulation skills, I find that his writing just isn't all that much fun to read. If you're that interested, you can get the gist of it by watching a short YouTube clip.

As for future posts, well, the good news is that I should have more time to write in the coming weeks. I have another name game coming up, as well as some comments about a guy who is stronger than Billy Jack. And of course, I still owe you some pictures from my Breckenridge trip and the State Championship swim meet. Please drop by for those topics over the next week or so, and have a great day!