Whoville is a Creepy Place...but I'd Love to Live in Hooterville

I have no idea why I'm so tired.

Compared to most people, I face the holiday season with relatively few stresses. Well, OK, actually it's very close to zero stress. I have no huge family shopping pressures, no guests to prepare for or mega-dinners to cook, and no obligations to visit relatives who might expect me to exhibit manners and social skills I do not possess. The stuff that causes most people to freak out over Christmas simply does not exist in my dull and pedestrian life.

Nor have I been over exercising. Sure, I'm still a bit sore from my last plyometrics workout, but it's not like I've been wearing myself out with boatloads of running and swimming. As a matter of fact, I've been a bit of a slacker lately. And yet I find myself wanting to take naps and sleep in. That's not normal for me.

It's probably just the short days and cooler temperatures. The solstice is almost here, after all. My inner caveman probably just wants to hibernate. I am really glad that I'm off work from Christmas Eve through New Year's Day. That break should be restorative.

Anyway, as I mentioned in describing our latest trivia challenge, the answers are not 100% linear. But once I explain the relationships, you'll say "Oh! Of course!"

The idea is to match the item in the left column to the item in the right column that most closely relates to it.

Grinch	Potsie Weber
Gorn	Al Bundy
Grok	Frank-N-Furter
Gozer	Emperor of Rome in 35AD
Gort	Frosted Flakes
Grunka Lunka	Tuque

Answer number 1 involves this gentleman, the talented Thurl Ravenscroft. (I did not know about him before Tanner was born, or else I might have suggested "Thurl" as a good name candidate. There were three kids named Tanner in my son's 3rd-grade class...but not a single Thurl.)

Anyway, our first connection is Grinch-Frosted Flakes. And Mr. Ravenscroft provides the link. He is the deep-voiced talent who sang the song "You're a Mean One..." in the Boris Karloff Grinch cartoon -- and was also the voice of cereal legend Tony the Tiger over a 50-year span.

A Gorn, of course, is a slow-moving but immensely strong lizard creature from outer space. The first human to defeat a Gorn in combat was none other than James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the Starship Enterprise. And as we all remember from high school, Tiberius was the Roman Emperor for a couple of decades shortly after Jesus threw his carpentry tools into the gears of the empire.

I do not know why the elder Kirks felt obliged to name their son after a Roman. And though I'm sure that this time of year elicits many "Is Kirk better than Jesus?" arguments, I have no desire to discuss that question in this forum...at least not today.

Moving on. The term "Grok" was coined by author Robert A. Heinlein to convey the idea of fully grasping a complex concept. I could say, for example, that I grok why swimming is better than Celtic dancing, or that I totally grok the sensation of York Peppermint Patties. But I doubt that even Stephen Hawking could grok the Captain and Tennille.

Anyway, the actor who played Potsie on Happy Days was a fellow named Anson Williams. And guess what Heinlein's middle initial stood for? That's right...he was also an Anson.

Thurl is definitely a better name than either Anson or Potsie.



A "tuque" (pronounced "tuke") is the type of knit wool cap enthusiastically worn by Bob and Doug McKenzie (pictured here) and other beer-drinking natives of the Great White North. Our connection to Gozer the Gozerian (evil Sumerian deity capable of wreaking widespread destruction in marshmallow form) is that Rick Moranis (aka Bob McKenzie -- the one on the left) portrayed one of Gozer's primary henchmen (Vinz Clortho, Keymaster) in the historical documentary film entitled "Ghostbusters."

Dr. Frank N. Furter was the transvestite mad scientist alien who tormented Brad and Janet in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." The first line of Rocky Horror's theme song is "Michael Rennie was ill the day the Earth stood still", which gives us our connection to Gort.

Gort, of course, was Klaatu's robot buddy who threatened to melt the world to slag if everybody didn't calm down and play nice in the classic film "The Day the Earth Stood Still."

One of the things I love about this job is that I always learn something new as a result of these quizzes. I had no idea that Ringo made an album with Gort on the cover until I did a search for Gort graphics. I always liked Ringo for his sense of humor...but was never once tempted to buy any of his solo albums, and thus remained ignorant of his good taste in cover art. Despite my newfound admiration for the man, I still don't plan to buy his records -- because his music still sucks.

And that brings us to the Grunka Lunkas, featured in the video at the top of this post. They are Futurama's version of Willy Wonka's Oompa Loompas, and they sing lyrics almost as bad as Ringo's. They are connected to Al Bundy via Ms. Katey Sagal, who played Peg Bundy on "Married with Children," and also played the kung-fu Cyclops delivery babe on Futurama.

So that completes our matching challenge. I hope you enjoyed it.

Tomorrow, I shall attempt to run, swim, buy Tanner's Christmas/birthday present, and begin my massive junk-purging project at the condo. I'm hoping to throw away enough stuff to leave space to set up an exercise area with room enough to assemble my new Weider PowerTower. Historical precedent suggests that a very small percentage of the planned tasks will actually be completed...but I have to give it a try. I know that the recycle bins will be full after Christmas, so the more I can toss out now, the better.

As always, thanks for dropping by. Enjoy your last few shopping opportunities, and have a great day!