The Price of Style

Many people assume that I have an incredibly easy life. It's not difficult to understand why they might think that. With my movie-star good looks, phenomenal charisma, staggering intelligence, and utterly unfair handsomeness...well, it's only natural to assume that I'd be able to conquer life's challenges with ease.

Unfortunately, it doesn't really happen that way. I'm not saying I regret being wonderful--not at all--but there are pressures that bedevil us trendsetters while completely bypassing the great masses of normal people.

(Interlude: We have a challenging quiz coming in a minute, but first, an easy one: Who is the fellow pictured at the top of this post? The answer will follow shortly.)

Now you might assume that my number one challenge would involve fending off throngs of aggressively amorous females, but surprisingly, that has not been an issue. (I'm assuming it's because I am SO intimidatingly attractive that they assume they have no chance, and therefore don't even try. I mean...what else could it possibly be?)

And though talent and an overabundance of wealth are often associated, I have strived throughout my life to keep my bank account from becoming needlessly large. Whenever I've had career and/or financial choices to make, I have consistently chosen the path that minimizes my income...and therefore have been able to maintain a simple and austere lifestyle that keeps me from being hassled by pesky investment brokers and Lamborghini salesmen.

No, the problem I'm complaining about today stems from my responsibilities as a fashion leader. As you know, my hairstyle has been the inspiration for many thousands of civilian and celebrity copycats (including the fellow above, who, as I'm sure you've deduced, is known as "Salvador Dalai Lama".) It's a great style, compact, clean, and easy to shampoo. I haven't carried a comb for decades, and windy days don't cause me a single microsecond of hair-related anxiety.

Yes, I do realize that by cutting and styling my own hair, I am depriving the goth kids down at Supercuts of their livelihood -- but I am confident that our government will take good care of them when they're forced to close their doors because everyone wants to look like me. But it's that very same action that is causing me stress, I'm afraid. You see, I do rather enjoy cutting my own hair--But because I am cursed with far more than my fair share of macho manly man hormones, the problem is that my hair simply grows too darn fast. If I want to maintain my position as a hairstyle role model, I am forced to haul out the shears just about every other week. It's a lot of work. Geez.

I bet most of those Lama guys have some minion who takes care of haircuts. That would be sweet. And it would also be delightful to be able to wear the exact same clothes every single day. You have no idea how long I stand in front of my closet pondering which year's Brute Squad T-Shirt to wear on any particular day. It's a choice that deserves scrutiny; I do not want to disappoint the public. I'm sure you understand.

Anyway, here's today's challenge puzzle for you. The pair on each row share something in common; can you identify what it is? The entire puzzle has a theme, too -- and once you find the answer for one of the rows, the rest of it will probably be obvious.

I'll give you a hint in a second. In the meantime, I'll mention a few of the things I'll be posting in the coming week. We'll have a multiple choice quiz concerning unusual nouns, as well as some additional outdoor photos. In the meantime, please enjoy thinking about the puzzle...and have a great day!

(Hint: Think "co-workers".)