Summertime

This is an exciting time for science fiction fans.

IronMan 3 is out. Star Trek "Into Darkness" is about to release, and I've even seen previews for "Ender's Game." Now, if they would just get going on the filming of "City of Baraboo," I'd be in geek heaven.

Come to think of it, how come no one has made any movies from the "Foundation" series? Dick Gautier would be the obvious choice to play R. Daneel Olivaw, except that he's about 100 years old now. Likewise Brent Spiner (though I think he'd make an excellent Hari Seldon.) But what about Neil Patrick Harris? Yeah, I know -- he is doing comic roles these days...but back in the Doogie days, he showed that he has the chops for serious stuff, too. If you think about it, I'm betting the idea will grow on you.

Anyway, I'm sure you've deduced that I've had a lot going on the last few weeks. It's been (mostly) fun, with some good bike rides, a couple of interesting parties, and a few excellent swim practices mixed in with all the brain-numbing work and personal chores. But I'm definitely back in that "I need a vacation" mode.

The bad news is that my ankle is still bugging me, and my hamstring has flared up again in response to the ankle soreness. I have very little optimism about the Colfax Half-Marathon this weekend. Two months ago I had my eyes on an aggressive goal for the full marathon; then it dropped back to merely wanting to equal last year's time in the half. And now, the goal has eroded to where I simply want to finish the silly thing without causing any further damage to my delicate bones and ligaments. Sigh.

So, then, let's talk about circuses, shall we? (By the way, the half-marathon runs through the Denver Zoo...so I might have some good elephant photos to share in next week's blogs. That sorta relates to the circus theme, doesn't it?)

What does the term "First of May" mean?
A. The opening show of the summer season.
B. A new hire.
C. An aerial trick involving 5 somersaults.
D. An annual pay bonus.

In circus lingo, "First of May" is what we Internet professionals would call a "Noob" -- someone who has just been absorbed by the Body, and is still inexperienced in the ways of the subculture they have just joined. I, for one, have never had even a microscopic desire to run away to join the circus, so I can't imagine the term ever being applied to me. Some may see the Big Top as a glamorous way of life with the opportunity for extended travel...but I would tend to see it as being confined with smelly pooping animals, hideous freaks, and amoral hucksters. In other words, it would be a lot like Congress.

What does the phrase "Hey Rube!" mean?
A. Someone is about to eat a 5-day old corn dog.
B. A bunch of clowns are about to swarm out of a tiny car.
C. There's a fight with townfolk, and assistance is needed.
D. It's an invitation to play a carnival game.

The call of "Hey Rube" brings the roustabouts a-runnin'. I'm not sure how often circus folk get in a "clem" with the locals, but since the crewmembers who are not on stage tend to be large folk who pound massive tent stakes for a living (and may carry such stakes into battle), I would be perfectly happy if I never experience such a thing first hand. Eating a 5-day-old corn dog, though -- well, that sounds like a challenge I'm well suited to tackle. Bring it on!

Who wrote the lyric "The calliope crashed to the ground"?
A. P.T. Barnum
B. Bruce Springsteen
C. Manfred Mann
D. James Taylor

As everyone with any taste knows, the group U2 is by far the most overrated musical act in the history of mankind. (It's a complete mystery how they have sold millions of records while artists like Susan Christie languish in obscurity.) But I would say Springsteen is right up there with Bono and Slash (or Sting, or the Vedge, or whatever the guitar-player's name is) in this puzzling category. I mean, seriously, "Madman drummers bummers, Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat"? Zool wabba hababba chipewabba makes more sense.

If you want excellence in lyrics, the true master of the art form is probably one of the most under-rated musicians on the planet. If you have time and really want to examine lyrics that paint vivid pictures while simultaneously blessing you with well-crafted rhyme schemes, alliteration, and rhythm, then check out this gem.

And by the way, circus people pronounce it "callie-ope," not "kah-lye-o-pee." Thought you'd like to know. (And by the way, even though it sounds similar, I regret to inform you that "Dopey Opie" is NOT a musical instrument.)

What is a "bullhook"?
A. A promotional poster with exaggerated claims.
B. The device used to harness draft animals to a wagon.
C. The trick behind a rigged midway game.
D. A training and control stick used by elephant handlers.

Elephants are called "bulls" by their handlers, and since the stick used to control them has a curved segment on one end, it makes sense to call it a bullhook. It's really pretty amazing that a puny human with nothing more than a stick can get a multi-ton beastie with sharp tusks and barrel-sized feet to follow his commands, but I guess there's a reason we're the only Earth species who has been to the moon and can play the guitar.

As for non-Earth species, well, somebody had to build the pyramids, right? Hmm. Perhaps on remote planets like Ceti-Alpha Five, they have circuses where harnessed Gungans pull the calliope wagons while hooded Sith card sharks work the midway, using Jedi mind tricks to scam people at 3-card monte.

It's a nice thought, isn't it? Oh well, for those of us would are stuck on this rock (for now, anyway), at least we have good movies to watch. I'll try to check out some of the current flicks out there and provide some reviews in the next week or two. In the meantime, enjoy this warming weather, and have a great day!