First of May

Ah, 'tis a Winter Wonderland on the day the gravel pond is available for open water swimming. I'm guessing that some fanatic soul with more guts than sense will be out at Chatfield this afternoon, kicking off the season with splashes, shrieks, and shivers. Not me, though. I'm thinking more about egg nog, fruitscakes, and yule logs. At this particular moment, I'd have to say that relaxing beside a fire holds a lot more appeal than swimming across a frosty lake.



It's a good thing Al Gore changed it from "Global Warming" to "Climate Change", cuz this sure don't feel "May Day warm" to me. When I was a kid on May 1, we'd be dancing around the May Pole and delivering May Baskets, and generally romping around outside...probably barefoot.

Does anyone else remember May Poles? Or was that a product of the local culture where I grew up. I seem to remember that a May Pole was merely a tetherball pole with some streamers attached. The "dance" we did was some sort of elaborate over-under weaving routine, with counter-rotating groups of confused children trying not to run into each other. If the dance was successful, the streamers would wind up wrapped around the pole in a pattern that resembled Chinese finger cuffs.

OK, I realize that everything I'm talking about here clearly brands me as an inhabitant of a black & white TV world, where motorcyclists were "hoodlums" and moms wore pearls while cooking dinner. In my formative years, Maynard G. Krebs was the most subversive influence you could find, and people who received money from the government were simply called "bums." You could swim in a lake without needing to sign a waiver, and the school session ended before Memorial Day.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm not suggesting that those were the "Good Ol Days". I would never argue that life was better then. I certainly would not want to face life without computers, HDTV, or CG movie aliens. (Well, OK...JarJar is an exception. But you know what I mean.) All I really want is just to see three or four days of sunshine without a snowstorm interrupting. It's almost summertime, dagnab it; I want to be doing stuff outside.

Anyway, one of my friends was talking about how clowns were scary, and that got me thinking about some of my favorite books: the "Circus World" series by Barry B. Longyear. So, with that in mind, here are a couple of trivia questions relating to the circus.

What does the term "First of May" mean?
A. The opening show of the summer season.
B. A new hire.
C. An aerial trick involving 5 somersaults.
D. An annual pay bonus.

What does the phrase "Hey Rube!" mean?
A. Someone is about to eat a 5-day old corn dog.
B. A bunch of clowns are about to swarm out of a tiny car.
C. There's a fight with townfolk, and assistance is needed.
D. It's an invitation to play a carnival game.

Who wrote the lyric "The calliope crashed to the ground"?
A. P.T. Barnum
B. Bruce Springsteen
C. Manfred Mann
D. James Taylor

What is a "bullhook"?
A. A promotional poster with exaggerated claims.
B. The device used to harness draft animals to a wagon.
C. The trick behind a rigged midway game.
D. A training and control stick used by elephant handlers.

That's all for now. Stay warm, keep your distance from clowns and beatniks...and have a great day!