Sturgeon's Revelation

Yes, it's proposal crunch time again; the sporadic blogger's worst nightmare.

So, for the next 10 days or so, my life consists of nothing but exercise, work, eating, and sleep. (The more observant among you might protest that those activities are pretty much all I ever do, regardless of employment obligations...but you'd be forgetting television and crossword puzzles. So there.)

Anyway, proposal obligations definitely add stress to my life. But they are not the only sources of anxiety for me right now. I also have the following horrendous problems:

• My ankle hurts. Yes, I know that I constantly complain that it always hurts, but this particular pain is an order of magnitude more acute than the chronic ache I blame for my spastic running form. I don't think I've damaged it any more than it has been, but it's definitely angry at me right now.
• My car problems have returned. Seems to be a related symptom to the most recent problem; I'm burning antifreeze for some reason. I need to have it checked.
• My toaster is half broken. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say that half my toaster is broken. It's a cheapo four-slice plastic thingy, and I had been using one side for light toasting and the other for dark. Despite imperial protests to the contrary, I can no longer get results by using the dark side.

So, I have doctor visits, car appointments, and appliance shopping trips to schedule...even though I have no spare time and am exhausted from actually having to engage my brain at the office. In the meantime, I'll have to either change the toaster timer setting, or run my bread through the cycle twice. I shall try to remember to keep smiling as I face the ordeals that await me.

In the meantime, let's take a little pop culture awareness test. While each of these statements might have application to my current situation, the question for you is: Which one is known as "Sturgeon's Revelation?" (Extra credit if you can provide the names of the other axioms listed.)

A. The perversity of the Universe tends toward the maximum.

B. Ninety percent of everything is crap.

C. Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

D. Health improves if every meal is accompanied by a salad of thinly sliced cabbage.

If you have a favorite toaster model you'd like to recommend, please let me know. In the meantime, remember that we must not allow the machines to rise up and take over. Have a great day!