It's Cold!

It's not officially "winter" yet, but it's finally beginning to feel like it. Do sub-zero temperatures and snow on the ground help you to feel in the Christmas spirit? Or would you be OK with being Australian?

My attitudes vacillate. I like seeing snow on the pine trees and hearing boots crunching through the frozen tundra. There are times when the sun is bright and the air is crisp where I find it positively exhilarating to inhale the chilled air and watch the landscape sparkle. But there are other times when I really wish I didn't have to wear longjohns and stocking caps...and didn't have to scrape Nature's beauty off my freakin' windshield. And even though I sorta like that "whumpf" sound my condo's heater makes when the gas ignites, I'm not a big fan of knowing how much it costs me to stay warm.

No, let's revise that -- how much it costs me to not completely freeze. Yes, I do have a programmable thermostat and I do turn it down to the "I really don't want to get up to pee" level at night. The only time I turn it up to where I only have to wear one sweatshirt is when I'm going to be working at the computer.

Yeah, I know...I'll be complaining about the heat in 6 months. I believe this is what Elton John calls the "circle of life". It's simply Nature's way of punishing us for axial tilt -- which as we all know, is caused by people who drive SUVs.

Anyway, the weather in Denver is certainly Christmasy. So let us ring bells and bake cookies and sing carols about ancient European royalty who would positively be forgotten by history if it weren't for cryptic songs about yuletide merriment with no references to Christmas whatsoever. I give you...King Wenceslas.



The first fellow is an author named Stephen King. I think he writes children's stories or something, at which he seems to have achieved moderate success. I was going to use boxing promoter Don King (since I like his hairdo), or perhaps Oscar-winning director King Vidor (who directed part of "Wizard of Oz"), but went with Steve because we writers need to stick together and I figured he could use a plug.

The second gentleman is the performer known as Señor Wences, a ventriloquist who put makeup on his hand rather than springing for an actual dummy. His act also included talking to characters inside boxes, and for some reason, spinning hubcaps. But I like the guy.

And of course, the last two pictures are slaws. Cole slaws to be precise, though I'll confess that I don't know of any other types of slaw. Some people refer to the tenet that "anything that can go wrong, will" as Murphy Slaw, but I don't think that's 100% correct.

On to the music --

There are two songs referenced here. The baseball player pictured is Japanese slugger Sadaharu Oh, who hit more than 800 home runs in his professional career. The photo next to his is a tannenbaum.

Then we have a representation of everyone's favorite red nosed reindeer. First there is Rue McClanahan (one of the grotesquely obnoxious "Golden Girls" on TV), followed by Dolph Lundgren, who followed in Mr. T's footsteps in implausibly getting beat up by Rocky Balboa.

OK, I'll confess that the next puzzle was a bit more challenging. It's not a title at all, but a reference to a minor plot device that appeared in the holiday classic, "It's a Wonderful Life". It was one of the things that helps George Bailey understand whether he exists or not.

Did that hint help?


It's "Zuzu's Petals".

OK, it's actually "Zuul Zuul Pedals", but c'mon, that's close enough, isn't it?

Yes, I know that using an emissary of Gozer the Destructor is probably not appropriate for describing a sweet and life-affirming tribute to the love-slathered wonder of Christmas...but these challenges just wouldn't be any fun if they were all as easy as the next one, right?



Get out the whipped cream, my friends. It's Pump, Ken (Griffey, Jr.), Pi. Yum!

So with that, I shall bid you good day. Stay warm, my friends; eat plenty of holiday goodies, and have a great day!