Pikes Peak!

If ever there was an American who had a name that sounds like an alien warlord, it was the feller for whom Pikes Peak is named. Zebulon. Zebulon the Conqueror -- Zebulon the Indefagitable. Zebulon, Master of the Seven Nebulae! Has a real ring to it, doesn't it.

(Yes, I know that "indefagitable" sounds politically incorrect, especially considering his fashion choices, but trust me, it's a perfectly cromulent word, and it wouldn't surprise me if the dude was the Charlie Sheen of his time.)

Anyway, the reason I mention Mr. Pike is that I hiked up his namesake mountain on Saturday. I had optimistically referred to my plans as an intention to "run" up the mountain, but since the government had neglected to install extra oxygen along the route, those confident predictions turned out to be somewhat exaggerated. Oh, I made it to the top, all right...and I did run parts of the trail. But I think most observers would classify my pace as "snail-like" or perhaps even "geological".

It took about 5 hours and 10 minutes, 2 Cliff bars and 4 handsful of gorp, 3 liters of water/Gatorade, and several momentary pauses of to ask WWCND (What Would Chuck Norris Do?). I dealt with steep grades, large rocks requiring sure footing, and diabolical tree roots sneaking across the trail to present sudden unseen tripping hazards. Above the treeline, the challenges multiplied; snow and ice covered parts of the trail, and the unhindered sun targeted those tender spots behind my knees where I forgot to spread sunscreen. But none of those dangers frightened me as much as the eerie death-threat chirping of the carnivorous pikas lurking among the alpine rocks. I never saw them, and was never attacked, but after the stories I'd heard of hikers being picked to the bone by these piranhas of the tundra, I was certainly wary.

I had come to the peak to support my friend Katie with her Leadville 100 training. She had run the 25-mile round trip to the top and back the previous day, so I expected her to be tired enough that I might be able to keep up for part of the journey. That turned out to be an unrealistic expectation; she's a total animal! But fortunately, Kimberly was able to stay with her; while I was huffing and puffing, they were carrying on a liesurely conversation as if they were at sea level. They made it to the top in time to have a nice lunch, browse the giftshop, and take a few photos before I finally hobbled up to the summit.

The good news is that I had pre-purchased a ticket on the cog railway, so I could ride down the mountain in comfort while those guys punished their quads, feet, and knees by pounding down the descent.


The train takes about an hour and a half to make the trip back to Manitou Springs, and the seats are made of church-pew wood. Not exactly the sort of comfort one would prefer for the time period immediately following a sprint up a 14er. I had to hold my hydration packs in my lap, and couldn't really stretch out into the aisle, so I was probably pretty squirmy.

I shared a row with nice family, and enjoyed listening to them discussing the gorgeous scenery out the window. You can really see a long ways from the top of this mountain, and on such a glorious day, it was spectacular! As you might expect from a tourist attraction ride like this, the conductor told jokes during the safety speech, and then walked up and down the aisles selling commemorative DVDs and glossy brochures. If I had purchased one, this is where I'd quote all sorts of statistics about the elevation gain, the technology behind cog-dependent transportation, and the motivation behind building a railroad whose sole destination sells t-shirts and french fries.




Oh yeah, there are some great views from the top. And all along the trail. If you're looking for some good exercise with the fringe benefit of glorious scenery, I can certainly recommend Pikes Peak as a place to find it.

When I reached the bottom, I had time to eat a high-calorie lunch at the cog railway snack bar. I watched their educational video, and even had a chance to examine the cogs themselves. It was a hot day, but once I had consumed some food and fluid, I realized that I was feeling pretty good. Perhaps I could've worked a bit harder on the run. Or maybe I'll look at this as a baseline workout...and come back later with a faster ascent goal time in mind.

I'll have to think about it. In the meantime, I was able to make it back to the trailhead by the time my friends finished. Their round trip was right around the 8 hour duration that the trailhead signs predict for the ascent alone. And, consistent with the way they started, both Kimberly and Katie finished the run with easy conversation and gigantic smiles. Inspirational!

It was a great day all around. I hope your weekend was excellent as well.