2011 Resolutions

Here are my resolutions for the coming year. I will:

• Refrain from singing "Surfin' Bird" during staff meetings.


• Check into bionic replacement parts for the honked-up ankle that makes me such a lousy runner. I don't need Steve Austin parts, or even John Travolta parts; I could probably get by with something along the lines of Leonard Nimoy or Brent Spiner.


• Write entertaining blogs without relying so heavily on obscure Star Trek references.


• Forgive the Irish for the abomination that is U2. (It's not fair to hold the entire country responsible...after all, nobody blames all Americans for Lady Gaga, do they?)


• Reconsider Spielberg's offer to play Indiana Jones in his upcoming remake of "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes".


• Continue my tireless crusade against the evils of communism, email spammers, and Cirque du Soleil.


• Play guitar more, complain less.


• Learn how to spell M. Night Shamalam, er, Shaymalian, er...whatever.


• Be a better swim coach...which means creating tougher workouts and designing harsher punishments for the slackers. I shall strive for 2011 to become known as "The Year of the 400 Butterfly".

So here we go. Let's charge headlong into it and make this a good one right from the start, OK? As always, I appreciate your support, and have a great day!