The Big Storm

Much of the country has been really messed up by all the record-setting snowfall and frigid temperatures that have been brought on by Global Warming. People have been stranded in airports and forced to cancel travel plans...and have just generally had miserable conditions to deal with -- while we here in Denver have been catching rays, playing tennis, and watching sunsets from the deck with a Corona in our hands.

But all of that ended yesterday. The media weather-dorks threw themselves into an orgasmic frenzy of attention-grabbing competition; each one trying to come up with the most frightening thing to say about the coming storm. It was the biggest news week of the year, and each reporter tried to up their ratings by instilling panic within their audience. They interviewed snowplow drivers: "How many people are expected to die because you don't have enough plows in your fleet?" Grocery store owners: "Are you prepared to shoot to kill when the snow-crazed looters come looking for the last gallon of milk?" Plumbers: "What should people do when the water in their toilet is frozen solid?" etc etc.

This is why I watch Star Trek reruns instead of the news.

And this really annoys me: KOA radio has started giving temperature predictions in "feels like" units. This used to be known as the "wind chill factor", and they'd state it along with the actually temperature. "30°, with a wind chill of 22°". But now they're skipping the actual temperature and just giving the lowest number they can find. "Tonight's low will be a feels-like temperature of 20 below zero!"

Yeah, and I "feels like" I is changing the station and listening to Rick Crandall.

Anyway, the storm was predicted to dump a foot of snow on us and cripple the city. Didn't happen. Sure, it snowed some, and it got colder, but it only added a few minutes to last night's commute, and this morning's drive looks to be about the same.

So, instead of filling this blogspace with tales of cabin fever from being trapped under apocalyptic drifts and burning my sweatsocks just to stay warm, I should be able to do a nice "Year in Review" column and talk about all the wonderful things that happened over the past 12 months. The only problem is that I've run out of time. Perhaps I'll do that tomorrow...or maybe I'll just skip it and go right into the New Year's Resolutions phase. (Hmm, perhaps I should re-read 2010's "NYR" blog and see how many of my resolutions I accomplished. Or not.)

Anyway, please drive carefully today, party sensibly tonight, and have a very Happy New Year! I'll see you in 2011.

Postscript: NOTE TO NEW YORK AIRPORT -- You should never make people wait 11 freakin' hours on the runway, even if there are no gates available. Just grab one of the old "stairway on wheels" thingies and roll it out to the plane. Let the people walk to the terminal. It's pretty easy. You're welcome.