Going Green

OK, it's time to make it official -- the term "Go Green" is over, done, finished, and kaput. If you say it in my presence, you may find my knuckles up against your nose.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing at all against recycling -- in fact, I usually buy the products with the most plastic and cardboard packaging just so I'll have MORE to recycle. And I've got nothing against saving energy; why, I often turn out the lights and shut off my computer while I'm at work, just to minimize my carbon footprint. In fact, I think I could be talked in to not going into the office at all, out of my sheer love for this beautiful planet on which we live.

But seriously, people, let's just stop using that oh-so-annoying phrase. Please! Let's take "Go Green" and stick it in the same landfill where we put "Where's the Beef?" and "Hey, Macarena". And we don't have to replace it with any new buzzwords, either. If there's anyone in this country who hasn't yet been exposed to the rationale behind conserving our resources, well -- they will be. Our school system is creating an unstoppable horde of street-preaching Eco-Nazis who will ensure that the future of our planet is secured via non-stop badgering of parents...until every single candy-bar wrapper, milk carton, and salsa jar is thrown into the proper bin. (These kids don't understand how to use a belt to hold up their pants, or which direction the bill of a baseball cap goes, but they can give you a boatload of detailed statistics on how long it takes cellophane to decompose. Sigh.)

[Of course, nobody really knows how the recycling process works. I suspect that the labor, machinery, and energy required to separate the junk mail from the tinfoil from the pop bottles, etc., consumes more of the Earth's resources than it would take to find and process brand new raw materials...but what do I know? And anyway, if we just heaved all that stuff in the dump and let Mother Nature recycle it -- which she certainly will (albeit slowly) -- then we wouldn't be able to feel all hand-holdy and huggy, and wouldn't be tempted to buy the world a Coke (which we could then recycle). Right?]

Anyway, my point is that we've discussed the subject to the point where we should be able to expect intelligent people to make good choices about their consumption. And that given practical alternatives, those people will almost always choose behaviors that are good for the planet. Without the need for slogans, guilt trips, and bumper stickers!

Actually, I should say "behaviors that are good for the humans on the planet". Let's face it -- the Earth itself doesn't care one whit about what we do to it. No matter what happens, the nearly-closed-system ecology of the planet will find a way to adapt. And no matter how inhospitable this rock may become for humans, there will certainly be some sort of life form that positively thrives under those conditions. So let's be clear that all of our moralizing about recycling and consumption is not about the Earth at all, or even about the "green" stuff, but is strictly a form of ego-centric self-interest for human beings. Oh, we may get all misty about plants and trees and animals and stuff...but it's only because we want to eat them and build stuff out of them.

But don't get me wrong: I'm not urging anyone to be wasteful or unconcerned. Not at all -- I just don't want to hear anything more, EVER, about "Going Green". Is that too much to ask?

So let's just keep researching solar & wind power, finding ways to be more efficient, and sending hate mail to manufacturers who use that @#$! super-hard plastic bubble wrap to package their products. Let's plant trees, adopt highways, and bike to work -- it's all good.

Just don't say...you know...that phrase.

Thank you for your support, and have a great day!