Feedback

Here's a sample from my Feedback Mailbag:

"Dear Idjit, you are a maroon, and dont even know how to spell good. Jiggawats shoulda been gigawatts, because that's how the word is spelt, no matter how your "doctor" Brown might pronounce it. Most people say it with a hard g — as in 'good' or as in 'giggity giggity', not with a soft g as in 'ginormous' or 'gnat'."

Thank you for the information, loyal reader. As always, I appreciate the wisdom you folks continually share with me, and I strive to live up to your expectations. I concede that I misspelled the word my faithful correspondent noted, but since I was quoting a movie line rather than something from a printed document, I felt that it was best to go with the phonetic interpretation.

You see, as a creative writer, I can do stuff like that. If I were a journalist, or a proposal editor, I couldn't get away with it. Any writing that I'm actually going to get paid for requires correct grammar, flawless punctuation, and perfect spelling. But for blogging, well, who needs a style guide, a dictionary, or even common sense? It's creative, man...and that means I can intentionally violate any rules I want to. (Even ending a sentence with a preposition.)

Therefore, you can assume that any typos or other apparent errors in judgment that find their way into this blog are indeed intentional, and are done for artistic effect. What appears to be poor writing as a result of ignorance and/or laziness is merely a cleverly-designed part of the craft. When words, sentences, or entire paragraphs don't make sense to you, I assure you that it is your lack of artistic sensibility that's causing the problem, not my boneheaded inability to communicate clearly. Are we all in agreement on this? Good.

Some of the feedback I get, though, simply defies understanding. For example, after I posted my "Go Broncos. Beat the Chiefs" line the other day, I got an email from a fellow in Oklahoma who accused me of being a "Liberal Communist" for having written that. Well, while I will admit that I did spend a misguided portion of my life living in Kansas, I can honestly state that I have not been anywhere near the town of Liberal in the last several decades, and am firmly on record as a tireless campaigner against the scourge of communism in all its forms. And even if there weren't such overwhelming evidence opposed to his assertion, the fact remains that he's from Oklahoma, and therefore completely unqualified to offer opinions on any topics outside of dust, crude oil, and inappropriate relationships with farm animals.

Anyway, the point is that I write with the assumption that my audience consists of intelligent and literate folks who possess at least a passing awareness of the difference between Thomas Jefferson and Karl Marx, as well as the difference between George Jefferson and Groucho Marx. They know exactly what a jiggawatt is, and have a pretty good idea about the definition of a gigawatt, too. I guess I also expect my readers to have a passing understanding of the phrase "Those who ignore history are destined to watch the sequel".

Anyway, keep those cards and letters coming. And have a great day!