Hey, Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

My boss told our entire department on Thursday that we needed to be looking for new jobs. He didn't know for sure who was going to be laid off, but he was reasonably sure that the majority of our group would be given our walkin' papers within the next month.

Hmm.

So much for my carefully constructed retirement plans, eh?

Actually, it may not come to that. There are conceivable scenarios under which I could keep my job, or be moved to another within the company. Still, it's only prudent to have a backup plan.

Anybody out there want to hire a clever, good-looking fellow with impeccable work habits and an overabundance of energy and charisma? You do? Good. But you have to realize that you probably won't find a guy like that...so why not consider me?

Anyway, as I go through this period of, uh, career development, it might be fun to take a look back at some of the jobs I've held in the past. Stay tuned for highlights and amusing anecdotes from my eclectic employment history. From unloading boxcars to standing ankle deep in gasoline; from throwing newspapers with a guy who ended up being whacked by the mob to teaching math to adults who didn't know how many dimes were in a dollar—I've got some stories to tell.

For the moment, though, let me share some good news with you: First (and least significant), I finally got some good suggestions from the swim team on how to make our Fun Friday workouts enjoyable for them. I've always had fun on Fridays, myself, but I've always had the sneaking suspicion that while I'm smiling my way through some complex, timed distance set, the other folks were plotting ways to hide the plans in an R2 unit so they could ultimately blow up my death star. In other words, I sensed rebellion.

Some of the suggestions included not timing anything on a Fun Friday, doing a pool deck triathlon, playing water polo, and playing water polo's older brother, Marco Polo. I shall take these suggestions, tweak them so that these "fun n' games" items involve hard work and grueling effort...and then people will be begging me for more timed distance sets. Bwahh haaa haa ha!

And here's the best news of the day: Tanner got a job! My son has overcome his genetic couch-potato tendencies and has arranged for gainful employment. I am excited about this, and am hopeful that he'll use this opportunity as a springboard to a path of intelligent earning and investing that takes him to a point where he won't have to worry about getting a layoff notice at my age.

OK, that's probably a bit of stretch; this job is just a summer gig slinging fast food -- but at least it'll give him a few bucks so he won't starve to death while he continues his quest for rock stardom. I'm very proud of him. He'll do well.

My next blog entry will tell about my upcoming attempt to travel on foot up Waterton canyon. Will his knees explode again? Will he collapse and sob like a baby beside the road while other people jog by and wonder why he's such a wimp? Will he be eaten by one of those nasty Bighorn Sheep? These questions and more will be answered in our next installment, so be sure to drop by, OK?

In the meantime, have a great day!