Breakfast Club and Birthday Cake

Thursday morning, the gym was nearly empty. My friends Desmond and Kim were there as usual, but the three of us pretty much had the place to ourselves. Our theory is that the hardcore runners have taken advantage of the warmer weather and are doing their morning workouts outdoors. I don't understand it, myself -- there's no closed-captioned TV out there -- but I guess if it works for them, then fine.

I left the gym a little earlier than usual, though. It was the last Thursday of the month, which is the designated day to get together for breakfast with my buddies from ITN Energy Systems. When I worked there, each of us ran one of the functions within the Operations Group, and I can honestly say that I have never worked with anyone better at their jobs than these three fine gentlemen. And while my own competence is not anywhere near the level of expertise that Rob, Jim, and Chuck brought to their jobs, I felt like we functioned very well as a team. Plus, I just enjoy these guys...so it's fun to catch up once a month.

Jim is retired now, so he often has photos from his RV travels across America. The rest of us just trade stories of what's going on with our jobs. And as we all get older, there are a few tales of aches and pains, too, I'm afraid -- so it's also nice to get a little sympathy from other guys who have been there and done that.

Anyway, it was a nice visit, as usual. If you've been thinking about getting together with some of your old work buddies, especially if you respect them and enjoy their company, then I'd highly recommend that you set something up. It's a very rewarding way to spend an hour of your morning.

And after that, you can go hang out with your current coworkers. And if your workplace brings in a cake when somebody has a birthday, well, so much the better.

For the last couple of years, we have received periodic training in "Diversity", intended to help us understand and take advantage of the differences that each unique person brings to the workplace. It is definitely paying off, as I am learning how to be more accepting of people that I used to think were simply bizarre. Here's an excellent example of your diversity dollars at work:

It was Gayle's birthday. She is the Director's assistant, responsible for keeping everything running smoothly, and she does an excellent job. Usually when someone has a birthday, Liz or Christie (or one of the other socially adept people) will bring in a cake, and our small department will take a brief break to sing, eat, and talk about how fattening the cake is. But because Gayle knows and works with EVERYBODY in the Director's organization, this celebration drew a much bigger crowd.

And that's where the diversity training comes in. In my culture, "cake" is defined as a chocolate baked item, with a fluffy-to-brownie-like texture, topped by oodles of chocolate or fudge frosting. Of course, during famine, war, or other food shortages, some variation is allowed...including German chocolate (with coconutty frosting), yellow cake with fudge frosting (but only in an emergency), or various other pastel colored interiors -- as long as the icing is thick and sugary, preferably with edible decorations.

Cake-shaped ice cream is acceptable, as well. But the so-called "carrot cake" is a vegetable, not a cake, and offering it as a birthday snack is an insult to everyone in the room. Likewise, anything with fruit in it is a direct violation of the Ten Commandments (though I forget which one, specifically), and should be greeted with extreme hostility.

Or at least that's what my culture has taught me to believe. But thanks to my diversity training, I was able to open my mind and actually listen to what was being said. I was astonished!

There are actually people who consider "carrot cake" to be a legitimate treat, and would prefer it to chocolate. (I suspect that these are the same people who consider Carrot Top to be a comedian, but I'm not going to go there.) And what's up with cream cheese frosting? Cheese goes on pizza and tacos...not confections.

And there are people who like the cake part and discard even a nice fudge frosting! There are those who won't eat the candy decorations! And then there are the really weird ones -- who eat the coconut from the German chocolate cake, but leave the chocolate part.

Hmm. Before Diversity Training, I probably would've jumped up on a desk and shouted to the crowd to repent their evil ways. I would've expected lightning bolts to strike down the infidels who falsely believe that orange is a legitimate color for a non-halloween based snack. But now, with my heart and mind full of tolerance and respect for differing viewpoints, I merely responded by saying supportive things, such as "how interesting", and "I applaud your individuality".

As part of a vibrant cultural exchange to promote team-building in the workplace, I now see clearly that it is my duty to accept and support whatever outlandish substances my coworkers declare to be cake, and at the same time, strive to teach others about the rich cultural heritage that my choco-centric upbringing has bestowed upon me. Perhaps on my birthday, I shall request both a normal, upstanding all-American chocolate cake...and one of the fruity-veggie save-the-whales socialist "cakes" (perhaps something with mangoes), to prove that I do indeed embrace my differently-tastebudded coworkers as equals, and as valuable members of our team.

Until then, let me just wish a very Happy Birthday to everyone who has had a birthday this month. Please, please feel free to sing whatever song you want, blow out the candles or not, chuckle at the lame card or not, and eat all the liver and pickle "cake" you want, if that's what floats your cultural boat. I'm there for you, man.

Let's just share in celebrating this special occasion, OK? And have a great day!