Shore Leave

No one questions the fact that DC Comics suck eggs when compared to Marvel. But you still feel no particular shame in reading one. After all, Batman and Clark Kent have done reasonably well as cinematic characters, and the Flash sets the fashion standard for lightning-bolt headwear. They won't ever compare favorably with Spidey or Iron Man...but they're certainly tolerable.

But what about Harvey Comics? They are the unmentionables of the comics world. Harvey is to comic books what the Oakland Raiders are to football -- what Timothy Dalton is to James Bond -- what Oklahoma is to US States. An abomination by any standard.

And yet, Stumbo is the fellow who popped into my head when I started wondering whether giants have extra-large blood cells...or whether they just have a gazillion more of them. After all, ostriches lay humongous eggs; why shouldn't giants have whopper platelets?

And why do we use the word "plasma" to describe blood fluid AND the fourth state of matter? And for that matter, why does the word "gas" describe both a chemical in a vaporous state and a good time had by beatniks? And why does "solid" refer to something that is structurally rigid while also having the meaning of "chopped lettuce and other garden vegetables, usually served before the entrée?"

Oops, sorry, I guess I have a bit of an accent.

Anyway, the point is that I am finished with proposal pressures for a few weeks, and can finally spend some time thinking about philosophical stuff instead of worrying about passive voice sentences and subject/verb agreement. I can finally relax a bit, and then begin to catch up on all the life elements I've been ignoring (laundry, paying bills, having a social life, etc.)

Let us begin by discussing our latest puzzle. I knew this one was too easy; everybody knew that the answer was "ork." (This is not to be confused with the "orc" from Tolkien's universe. Those guys are fairly nasty, when the people in our puzzle -- with the possible exception of Robin Williams -- are genial and pleasant.)



First, we have Dr. Jack Kevorkian, who achieved some notoriety for his accomplishments in medicine and treatment of disease. Next to him is the alien known as Mork, who provides a compelling argument for stricter immigration enforcement. To his right is Judge Robert Bork, who was once nominated to the Supreme Court, but was rejected because he had a stupid beard.

To the best of my knowledge, Porky Pig has never been considered for public office, though I would definitely support him if he ran for Congress. Just think how much better things would be if our representatives could look at the Treasury's revenue numbers and simply say "That's all, folks!"

The smiling fellow on the phone is Darrin Stephens, played by actor Dick York. I have to confess that I watched "Bewitched" mainly because of the appeal of Elizabeth Montgomery...but would've switched it off instantly if I had to rely on plot points alone. I cannot, in my wildest dreams, imagine a universe in which a man would not take full advantage of his spouse's magical powers. (And this includes YOU, Major Anthony Nelson.)

And finally, we have Peter Halsten Thorkelson, who was the blond member of the Monkees. I shall leave you today with the opportunity to listen to Mr. Thorkelson's melodious voice. Please enjoy it, and have a great day!