Olympic Observations

Phelps and Franklin aside, the Olympics have provided much food for thought.

I had written an insightful and poignant blog about the Olympian ideals, and about how I've reset some of my own personal goals after having been inspired by watching the competitions. The piece was brilliant and moving, and surely would've motivated you to achieve more in your own athletics, and in your personal life. But somehow, I managed to delete it.

Sorry.

So, instead of prize-winning journalism, I'm going to fill this space with bullet points about my more inane Olympic observations.

• I have enjoyed some of the commercials, especially the one where Lochte swims across the ocean, and all of those in which Morgan Freeman talks. I even like the ones where the kids write down the new world record as their goal. (Of course, if I was their coach, I'd tell 'em to set a goal that's at least a tenth of a second faster than the WR...but if they want to settle for a tie, well, whatever.) The problem is that I have no idea what any of these commercials were selling. The only ads where I remember the sponsor were the GoDaddy "Inside/Outside" ads, and though they amuse me, I doubt I'll be purchasing their services.


• OK, I guess I have had the urge to eat mor chiken lately. But as much as I'm motivated by fear of renegade cows, I have to admit that the main reason I feel like eating there is to show support for every American's right to free speech.


• Unsolicited advice: If I were a star volleyball player who makes a lot of money off endorsements, I'd try a little harder not to offend the 99% of the world who don't like the stupid Dodgers.


• Distance races are more fun to watch than sprints; I think we can all agree on that. As for the widely-publicized reports that distance athletes are more intelligent, better looking, and far more lovable in every way than sprinters are, well, I'll let you draw your own conclusions.


• Is it just me, or do the competitors from the Commie countries seem to have less fun than regular people?


• And speaking of world cultures, don't you just love the variety of names you encounter during these events? With names like "Meb", "Cullen", and the various transmogrifications of "Long Duk Dong", there's a never-ending parade of linguistic novelty to be savored. I had thought that "Van Den Hoogenband" would remain at the top of my favorite names list indefinitely, but he just got aced out by a fellow Netherlandian. Let's all say it together now: "Kromowidjojo". Just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? (Bonus points for anyone who can work it into a conversation, preferably in a way that involves obscure autoparts. "There's yer problem, Zeke. Ya gots a vapor leak in yer kromowidjojo.")

That's all I have time for today. I shall leave you with another graphical quiz: See if you can match the Olympian in the top row with the appropriate person in the second line. (As always, you can click to enlarge it.) Answers tomorrow. Have a great day!