When Can I Get My New Swim Cap?

I'm not a tough guy.

Ask anyone who knows me; they'll confirm my wimpiness. I've never bungee jumped off the Space Needle, gotten a tattoo, or eaten a puffer fish. I cry like a schoolgirl whenever I get a hangnail, and I fear doing the laundry as if Hannibal Lecter were lurking among the dirty towels. Why, back when I was in the motorcycle gang, I didn't even wear a leather jacket or carry any beatin' chains. Sarah Connor, I am not.

But as wimpy as I am, I am still more than willing to try to make it to the pool on a mildly snowy day. But, no...we've become such a nation of milquetoasts that we shut everything down at the first sign of panic from the local newscasters.

You may not know this (and I'm somewhat ashamed to admit it), but I went to Journalism school. I hung out with people just like the ones you see on TV and listen to on the radio. And believe me, folks, the fact is that newscasters take great delight in blowing things out of proportion. I'd go so far as to say that most journalists (including weather reporters) feel that the truth is merely the first scoop in their double-decker triple-fudge sundae with sprinkles. In other words, it IS going to snow, and it might even come down all day long...but it doesn't necessarily mean that the APOCALYPSE has arrived. They make it sound that way, but this is Colorado, people. We all have 4WD, and the snowplow crews know what they're doing. We can make it to swim practice.

My point is that they closed the Ridge on Friday, so we couldn't swim. Back when I was a kid, we'd walk uphill to school, barefoot, through 40 miles of snow while fighting off hordes of rabid wolves and commie ninjas. We thought nothing of it; it's just what you did. But now, as soon as the reporters start ululating and flailing their arms about, administrators everywhere immediately pop the panic button.

Sigh.

You may wonder why I'm upset enough to rant about this. Well, here's why: I have a mere 4000 yards to go to get my free swim cap from the USMS "Go the Distance" program. You get the free cap for swimming a total of 50 miles since January 1, and I'm just one good workout away from it. I was planning to achieve that milestone with our "Fun Friday" practice. But no, it snowed.

I don't really care about getting a cap -- I've already got one, you see. But I had hoped I could hit the 50-mile goal by right around Groundhog's Day...and now it's going to extend beyond that. I'll admit that it's silly to be bummed out about being delayed by supervisory overreactions to a little bit of flaky precipitation, but I am anyway. I was hoping to get my last 4K on Friday morning, because now I'll have to sit out the next couple of days to recover from getting some skin sliced off at the doctor's office. (Just a little bump on my neck...no big deal. But they want me to stay out of the pool to let the stitches do their work.)

If I run out of other stuff to talk about, maybe I'll post of couple of blogs about snowstorms from the past -- back when it really WAS necessary to close down businesses. The best one was probably the time that me and my brother and Herbert the Pervert went over to Harvest Park and jumped off the 3-meter diving board into the snow that had filled the pool's deep end. That was fun!*

*Except for the wolves and ninjas, of course.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll hit the 50-mile mark early next week, and will have the cap before you know it. I'll be sure to post photos when it arrives. In the meantime, I'll do my best to stay dry and warm. I hope you will, too. Have a great day!