I'm a Pepper, You're a Pepper...

Golly. I forgot all about the little "comparisons" quiz I had posted a few blogs back. I know it's been a while, and I know that a person of my advanced age is expected to be mostly senile...but I still think we should discuss the answers.

The idea was to examine pairs who may seem to have similarities, but in reality, one of the two is vastly superior. For example, if we compared T.J. Hooker and James T. Kirk...well, they both look alike (sorta), but Kirk would deliver all kinds of whuppin' upside Hooker's head should they ever meet. Oh sure, TJ had Heather Locklear as a sidekick, and it could definitely be argued that she's more appealing than, say, Majel Barrett...but one dude drives a black n' white, while the other commands a freakin' starship!

Well, OK, Kirk DID have his adventures with a black n' white, but we are definitely not talking Adam 12 here.

(Hmm, I should've included Adam 12 vs. Adam Cartwright. Or speaking of Cartwrights, perhaps Briggita Von Trapp vs. Penny Robinson.)

Anyway, here are the correct answers. I hope you did well.

1. Dr. Pepper vs. Mr. Pibb

I like Mr. Pibb well enough, but it definitely isn't as highly educated as the good doctor. Pepper wins this one.

2. Blue Oyster Cult vs. U2

BOC is awesome, and U2 sucks; quite possibly the worst band ever. But everybody knows that -- I just threw this one in as comic relief.

3. Sonny Bono vs. any other Bono

Sonny was a funny guy, and a great songwriter. He wins this category easily.

4. Kirk vs. Picard

Hmm, this one is a toughie. They both epitomize everything that is good, and admirable, and heroic about humanity -- and are pretty obviously the role models after which my life is fashioned. (WWTCD = What would the Captain do?) Picard has the better voice, Kirk has the superior karate, Picard is more thoughtful, but Kirk gets more babes. Neither one can be disqualified for any reason, so I'll give you points for either answer.

But I go with Kirk, you know...because of the babes.

5. Fred Rutherford vs. Mel Cooley

Again, both are great -- and these two are not the only fabulous characters that Richard Deacon created. Again, no deductions for either answer...but I'd go with Mel, just because he gave Buddy Sorrell so much great material.

6. Chia Head vs. Pet Rock

Ch-ch-ch chia!

7. Mr. Rogers vs. Mr. T

I pity the fool who isn't a good neighbor. But I suspect that I'd rather have Mr. T living next door. He's less likely to have trains whistling, maudlin songs blasting, or weird shoe and sweater fetishes. Oh sure, there'd be some jangling noise from all the gold chains, and probably some poppeta-poppeta noises from the speed bag in the basement, but I'd rather hear that than live next door to an old guy who plays with creepy puppets.

8. Will Robinson vs. Andy Robinson

As pathetic as "Lost in Space" is, I have always had a healthy respect for Billy Mumy, who (along with the robot) totally carried the show. But Andy Robinson was the best villain Dirty Harry ever faced, and was also on Star Trek (DS9) as a gay Cardassian (not to be confused with any of the Kardashians)...so even though it's a close contest, Andy gets the nod.

9. Mel Blanc vs. Daws Butler

Daws Butler was a talented and versatile fellow, and he did work on "Rocky and Bullwinkle," which earns him bonus points -- but he did have the misfortune of getting stuck in the Hanna Barbera crap factory, which removes all those points, and more. And even without the HB demerits, let's face it: Mel Blanc was Bugs Bunny. And Marvin the Martian. And Foghorn Leghorn and Porky Pig, among dozens of others. Mel wins.

10. Ricardo Montalban vs. Benedict Cumberbatch

I'm sure you know how this one ends; it's a no-doubter. But still, I have to admit that I like Benedict Cumberbatch, and think that he's a passable Khan artist. In fact, if the "Into Darkness" producers had chosen a buff Latino for the part, we would've spent the time in more details comparisons. Benny's Khan was actually OK, and I wouldn't mind seeing him again. But Ricardo is number one. And I'm sure he is stabbing at Cumberbatch from Hell's heart even as we speak. Altogether now, let's pay him tribute:


Have a great day!