Bites

Nobody wants to hear me whine about my own senility. I get that.

I'm sure most readers come here to join me in celebrating the joys of life and daily wonders that exist on the planet where William Shatner was born. So, I am not going to blame my latest oversight on age-related dementia or some sort of corporate-driven neural brownout.

I forgot to discuss yesterday's mint picture because I simply became immersed in discussing...well, whatever it was we were discussing. But I do want to express my thanks to everyone who wrote to say "Dude, what's up with the mints?"

My original thought for the blog was to discuss how there is a place in this world for the Washington Generals, and all the other denizens of the second tier on the eternal ziggurat of life. We all agree that York Peppermint Patties are the unquestioned rulers of commercial chocolate-minty confectionery; but if access to "the sensation" is unavailable, it's good to know that Pearson's has a passable product that will do in a pinch. In the same way, you know that if there's no Dr. Pepper, then you can survive for a limited time on Mr. Pibb.

It's interesting, though, that Pearson's does make the premier Salted Nut Roll on the planet, and the Coca Cola company (distributors of Pibb) makes the world's best cola drink.

Anyway, eating some mints made me think of other "Top Two" rivalries that exist in our world. Back before you were born, the prime example was the Hertz vs. Avis matchup, where Hertz was clearly number 1, and Avis bragged about being in second place. But I don't think anybody cares about that competition anymore (especially since Nordberg got arrested for all that unpleasantness back in the 90s.)

Oreo vs. Hydrox. Ricardo Montalban vs. Benedict Cumberbatch. Bruce Lee vs. Jet Li. Muhammad Ali vs. that other Muhammad that you can't draw pictures of. Blue Oyster Cult vs. The Beatles, etc. etc.

Which brings us to Wonder Woman (pictured above.) While I'm sure she is a fine human being, Lynda Carter would not have been my choice to play the Amazon princess. I might even be able to forgive her soft, non-athletic appearance if she could move convincingly. But whenever she runs, it becomes obvious that the actress does not possess any hint of the heroic physical attributes ascribed to her character.

Lucy Lawless, on the other hand, seems quite formidable. Even without the insurmountable Bruce Campbell advantage, Xena would make short work of Wonder Woman. I'm certain of that.

Anyway, I know that you are now expecting a "Kirk vs. Picard" discussion...but you're not going to get it. Today's premise is that one individual in each discussion pair is clearly superior to the other. In the case of Kirk and Picard, they are both outstanding, and arguments could be made for the ascension of either. On the other hand, Mr. Pibb might be reasonably tasty, but no one would seriously consider arguing that it's at the same level as Dr. P, just as no one could rationally argue that George Harrison plays guitar better than Buck Dharma.

But I do think we should explore more of the Kirk/Picard-type discussions in the future. It might be fun to compare the best of different eras -- for example, is Doogie Howser better than Leonard "Bones" McCoy? Is Mary Tyler Moore better than Tina Fey? Karl Marx...or Groucho? Mickey Mantle or Justin Morneau? Tough questions, I know...but probably worth exploring.

Let me know your thoughts on the subject. In the meantime, I will leave you with one last item of recently-acquired wisdom: This morning at swim practice, I learned a simple and effective method for getting people to hate you. Here's how: Just make them do a hard set of sprint 100s, and then follow it up with a timed 500 off the blocks! Guaranteed to generate animosity! I can't wait to suggest it to my fellow coaches. Bwahh haaa haa ha!

With that, I shall sign off. Have a great day!