Floor Mats for Christmas?

What better way to spend Christmas Eve than going on a nice snowshoe hike through Roxborough park? The snowstorm was over, the sun was shining, and we had just finished a good swim practice. My buddy Reynold and I were excited about the prospect of tromping through the fresh snow among the spectacular red rocks of the park. Reynold drove his all-wheel-drive car, and the road into the park had recently been plowed. It was cold (9°), but we'd be hiking hard and expected to stay warm.

Um, it didn't quite go as planned. We hadn't anticipated the 40-mph winds.

So now I'm sure you're expecting a tale of Man vs. Nature, of human triumph over the elements, of hardship and determination as two athletic friends bravely forged through the deep white powder against howling winds and frightening wind chills. And I agree, that would be a great story -- but it was not meant to be.

The road into the park had been plowed. But the high winds had already rearranged the snow and had created a few minor drifts here and there. With 4WD, though, we didn't have any trouble driving up the first half mile of the park road. But then we saw a 4-Runner that had stopped several hundred yards in front of us. Perhaps conditions weren't as benign as we thought.

The 4-Runner was backing up. We decided that such a strategy was probably wise for us as well. Reynold put the car into reverse.

And the tires spun.

You see, the wind had blown the icy top layer of snow onto the plowed road. It wasn't that deep, but it did create a very slick mess. The tires just weren't able to get a grip. I got out to push.

All of my weight training and swim workouts were of no use, though -- my boots weren't getting any traction, either. Seeing me fall down multiples times without budging the car, the women in the 4-Runner ran up to help us. To make a long story short, we all pushed, dug snow with our hands, and even tried putting floor mats under the tires for additional traction. We ended up with frozen fingers, windburned faces, and utterly ruined floormats. But we did eventually get the car back onto a driveable surface.

The 4-Runner was able to drive out without getting stuck, and did so without giving us the chance to properly thank them for their help. (In the meantime, some butthead photographer in a black Bronco just sat behind us and watched. I hope he's still stuck out there.) Reynold and I decided we'd save our snowshoeing for another day, and opted for McGriddles instead. So...it turned out to be a great morning, after all...once our fingers finally warmed up.

As for the graphic at the top of this post, well, I apologize. I couldn't think of any pictures that represented "traction"...so I went for "tractor" instead. The leftmost image is the venerable Hoyt-Clagwell tractor driven by former Attorney Oliver Wendell Douglas. Next to that is a surgical retractor, which I assume is a device used to pick up icky stuff the doctor doesn't want to touch. Then we have a contractor, which is a guy who goes 100% over budget on every job, but never learns to change his estimating methods. And of course, the next image is the starship Enterprise, using its tractor beam. And finally we have a protractor, which you would expect to be the opposite of a contractor, but instead is a device used to make smoothly-curved doodles when you're not paying attention to the geometry teacher in high school.

Anyway, I'm sure we'll find another time to hike at Roxborough when the winds are calm and the roads are passable. In the meantime, have a great day, and a very Merry Christmas!