Veterans Day

I got distracted yesterday, and forgot I was going to talk about learning to drive.

Well, sorta. I mentioned lawn mowers, but didn't tell you that a riding mower was the first gas-propelled vehicle I ever drove. Having a riding mower was a big deal for a young teenager; for one thing, it made mowing the yard easier. But most importantly, it had a clutch and a steering wheel, which allowed me to fantasize that I was Mario Andretti. I felt empowered and mature; a young lad entrusted with (and in control of) a mighty snorting beast of a vehicle, willing and able to travel whereever I pleased!

...As long at was in our yard. No driving in the street was allowed.

The bad thing was that the riding mower didn't perform the job as well as the push mower. It was slower, had an abysmal turning radius, and was completely incapable of getting into the tight spots around obstacles such as the trees and garden.

And honestly, the lessons learned in driving this mower didn't have much applicability to driving an automobile. For one thing, you made the thing go forward by pushing in on the clutch and holding it there. Its default (released) position was in idle, so you had to step on the pedal to engage the gears...and then hold it down as long as you wanted to move. There was no gas pedal, and the engine had a governor to help it hold constant RPMs. So, the thing had only one speed (slow), and would stop immediately if you relaxed your leg.

But it was fun. (At least until I got my learner's permit for driving the car; then I never wanted to mow again. Ever.)

In case you're wondering, the answer is "no." I have ZERO desire to ever own another riding lawn mower. I know it's a great disappointment to my father, but there is not one single horticultural bone in my body. I have no desire to ever mow another lawn or pull another weed. I won't swear I'll never do it (you never know what silly things a hot girl might talk you into), but I know I won't seek out yard work on my own...no matter how much turbocharged horsepower and Dolby stereo you jam into the cockpit of the mower.

Anyway, the point I really intended to make was that we should all remember to show our appreciation to our country's brave veterans. Not just on Veteran's Day, but all the time. These folks have done so much for us, and it's only right that we occasionally let them know how thankful we are for their service.

And now, to the silly stuff:



This one was far too simple. Even my brother knew all the answers. Sorry about that. I'll try to make the next one a bit more challenging. But obviously, the answer to this one is "Buck."

The first panel contains Gil Gerard in his role as "Buck Rogers." He was a charming enough character, but I have to confess that I primarily tuned in to the show to watch Erin Gray. I have no idea why her career didn't take off after that show, but I'm not sure I've seen her since. Twiki the robot (voiced by Mel Blanc, as noted in this space before) was a horrible, horrible addition to the show, and I hope the brainiac who thought that one up was severely reprimanded. But today's free trivia fact comes courtesy of the other non-female regular on the show. The actor Tim O'Connor played the professor (who was also a waste of screen time), and was probably supposed to be the inventor of the stupid robot. But the interesting thing about him is that he never achieved the fame of TV's other Tim O'Connor. But the second one couldn't use his real name because our made robot-maker was already registered with SAG...so he changed his name to Tim Conway, started hanging out with Carol Burnette and Harvey Korman, and the rest is history.

You're welcome.

The second panel is a photo of Billie "Buckwheat" Thomas, a member of the famed Little Rascals. I didn't realize until many years later that both buckwheat and farina (the name of Allen Hoskins' character in the same series) were types of hot breakfast cereals. In our house, we only had oatmeal, Maypo, and Ralston. I felt I had been deprived when I learned there were all these other tasty grains that could be eaten along with poached eggs and buttered toast. Mmm.

Both Thomas and Hoskins ended up serving honorably in World War II, and therefore also deserve our thanks...not only for entertaining us in theaters and on television, but for nobly serving our country.

The caricatured fellow in the third frame is Richard Buckminster Fuller, inventor of the geodesic dome, and the fellow for whom "buckyballs" (a unique soccerball-shaped carbon molecule) is named. Fuller was also a US Veteran, serving in the Navy in World War I.

The guitar-wielding gent is none other than Buck Owens, half of Hee-Haw's "picking and grinnin'" team with the genial (and prolifically talented) Roy Clark. If my nerdishness and lack of sophistication were not already so blatently obvious, I might not admit this -- but the truth is that I greatly enjoyed Hee Haw. That's where I first heard one of my favorite love songs, Errol Garner's immortal "Misty" (see video below.)

Behind Mr. Owens, you might have noticed Ernest Borgnine. I have no idea what he was doing on Hee Haw, but then I wouldn't have picked him to be a guest star on "The Simpsons", either, but he did both. He also was married to Stella Stevens in "The Poseidon Adventure", which was the first time I recognized the possibility that a gnarly troll could hook up with a hot babe. (I still cling to that hope, too.)

Our trivia circle comes complete here: Mr. Borgnine was also a veteran of the US Navy, serving before and throughout WWII...but he also portrayed a Naval officer on the TV show "McHale's Navy", which co-starred (you guest it) the aforementioned Tim Conway. As far as I know, though, neither of these gentlemen were ever in a movie with Kevin Bacon.

The last panel spotlights the amazing Donald Roeser, better known as Buck Dharma, lead guitarist for Blue Öyster Cult. The dude knows how to rock, with feeling. And with that, I shall leave you with a couple of videos to enjoy. [Note: Buck starts rockin' at about 5:55.] Have a great day!